It's really hard to understand why things happen when they happen. We aren't meant to understand everything, and I have accepted that for the most part. When we moved to Fiji and my Dad nearly died and needed a few surgeries, my moms health kept failing and she ended up having a major surgery I felt frustrated at God for taking us so far away when it was clear to me they needed my help. I can tell you that I am so thankful now that God didn't answer a single one of my prayers to let me go home during that struggle, because He finally showed me what he had been up to!
When my Dad nearly died, I was unable to leave Fiji because my visa was being processed. The second time he fell very ill I was still dealing with visa issues that kept me from leaving. It was incredibly frustrating for me, I wanted to be there, to help them when they needed help. It seemed crazy to me that we had just spent the last 2 years living next door when I was able to help and nothing major had happened, but we move back over seas and everything starts to fall apart. I cried out to God a lot concerning these things over the last year, trying to make sense of them, to find the reason behind it but God was silent. I felt relieved that God had protected both of their lives, that He had kept my father from passing away from an extremely serious infection and that they had caught my moms problem right before it became cancer. I still wrestled with guilt over not being there to actually help them. God continually reminded me to trust Him and I did, but I wanted to understand it all.
Finally when we were able to go home, a very last minute trip I might add, to see my mom after her major surgery God revealed what He had been up to and my heart was filled with joy!
We got to spend an amazing week with my family and help my mom and dad out for a short time as my mom came home from the hospital. It was chicken soup for the soul to be there with them, I cherished every second. It didn't take long to see why God had kept us away as I watched my parents taking care of each other. Something had changed between them from having only each other to lean on during these trials and struggles. It was amazing! I had never seen my parents so close! There are so many seasons in a marriage, but this warmed my heart to the core to see my father diligently caring for my mom and my mom seemed so comforted by him! God had kept us away because this was a time for them to grow, for them to only rely on each other and God! Had I been there I would have taken over, I would have made sure everything was taken care of and I would have robbed them the opportunity to find strength in each other. I had so many prayers for my mom and dad and seeing them like this answers a good many of those prayers!
Sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers because He is doing something in someone's life! I forget that sometimes! I can pray that Ella Mae doesn't have any more friends or teachers move away because my heart breaks for my child, but the truth is that God is working in each of our lives and he can't stop the growth, plan, or purpose of one person to satisfy the needs of another. He will provide the strength and the comfort my daughter needs in the goodbyes, but he will let people go where he needs them to go so that they can grow! No one likes to feel like their prayers are falling on deaf ears, but when we pray to the God of all creation we can be sure He hears, and sometimes His silence is to teach us patience, and sometimes it is simply there because His answer is no. I realized now that I never once considered that God could be keeping me away to help my family. I never thought that maybe my presence, although a good thing, might hinder the work He was trying to do. I guess this may help me look at my prayers and His occasional silence from a new perspective! God is amazing and I am thankful that He showed me why He didn't answer my prayers this time! In the end He answered prayers that I have been praying for years!
The key is that we need to submit to His will. His plans are perfect and He sees the bigger picture! We can trust Him in that! We live in a fallen world and sometimes we don't get the answers that we want or we lose someone that we love way before their time and we try to make sense of it. We are not always going to understand the hardships and the tragedy, but God still hears us, loves us, and will provide for us no matter what comes our way....
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ~1 John 5:14
No comments:
Post a Comment