The Endurance Mile

It's hard to always run by myself.  I miss having someone to push me, to encourage me, to chat with, and to press through the difficult moments with.  I may not have someone in the flesh, but I never run alone!  The Holy Spirit uses those runs to talk to me, encourage me, and build me into the person I am meant to be.  Every situation and circumstance leaves something to learn from.  Today the word was endurance!

I am not competitive, just ask the Fiji LIFE Runners, I just don't feel the need to beat anyone.  The only competition I ever have is with myself and honestly I have to really push to compete with myself!  Today I had an 8 miles run and I decided to throw a PR mile in at the end.  The very last mile of my run today was very hilly so I put the PR mile in at 6 mile mark.  I gave that mile my all, I pushed hard as I could after already running a fairly decent 6 miles.  My pace was good despite a bit of a hill and I just concentrated on not losing my footing and my breathing.  At the end of the mile I fell 2 seconds short, but who is counting!  No PR today!  Then I realized that PR mile didn't matter, the mile that mattered sat before me.  The last mile, the mile I had left to hit the finish when I was already spent!  That was the mile that built character, that was the mile that proved that you still had more left to give when you had already given all you had!

As I steadily jogged that last mile I prayed for strength and endurance.  I needed to be carried home because my legs were done, my heart was tired, and it was hot!  But step after step I had the strength to go on.  I made it to the very end, and that is because I never run alone.  God ran with me, taught me things, and carried me when I needed carrying.

His ability to teach us endurance falls over every aspect of our lives, especially his call for us to ministry.  Some days its so hard, standing up for life in a world that embraces self and little else.  There is so much darkness it would be easy to just crawl back into bed and pull the covers up and give in, but then what.  Women would continue to be damaged by abortion, innocent lives would continue to be snuffed out before their time in the name of convenience.  See there is one simple truth, a truth so obvious it is mind boggling to me that anyone ever supports abortion.  No woman's right to convenience EVER supersedes another persons right to life!  Never!  Then will come the arguments about rape and children who will not be born perfect, and still I say that we are not the ones to decide life or death over another.  It has already been shown that women who choose life for their child following rape never regret choosing life, but those who choose to end the life of their innocent child after such a tragic event are even more broken and often struggle not just with the rape but with the guilt of the life they took.  Every life matters, and that includes the innocent children conceived in rape.  As for the 90% of babies who are aborted simply because they have a diagnosis of Downs Syndrome, well that speaks of the selfishness of our time.  Who are we to judge who is worthy or less worthy of life.  God created every last single one of us.

With the lies of Planned Parenthood being exposed there has been a growing anger rising from the public to see an end to their funding, but an end to Planned Parenthood is still not enough.  Until we decide that ALL life is precious and we all fight to protect it, abortion will still fracture our society leaving broken families, scarred women, and generations cut off too early.  Endurance is the only thing I have to keep me going.  My legs are tired, my heart is weary, but I will not give up.  I simply can't.....

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Unanswered Prayers, or are they....

It's really hard to understand why things happen when they happen.  We aren't meant to understand everything, and I have accepted that for the most part.  When we moved to Fiji and my Dad nearly died and needed a few surgeries, my moms health kept failing and she ended up having a major surgery I felt frustrated at God for taking us so far away when it was clear to me they needed my help.  I can tell you that I am so thankful now that God didn't answer a single one of my prayers to let me go home during that struggle, because He finally showed me what he had been up to!

When my Dad nearly died, I was unable to leave Fiji because my visa was being processed.  The second time he fell very ill I was still dealing with visa issues that kept me from leaving.  It was incredibly frustrating for me, I wanted to be there, to help them when they needed help.  It seemed crazy to me that we had just spent the last 2 years living next door when I was able to help and nothing major had happened, but we move back over seas and everything starts to fall apart.  I cried out to God a lot concerning these things over the last year, trying to make sense of them, to find the reason behind it but God was silent.  I felt relieved that God had protected both of their lives, that He had kept my father from passing away from an extremely serious infection and that they had caught my moms problem right before it became cancer.  I still wrestled with guilt over not being there to actually help them.  God continually reminded me to trust Him and I did, but I wanted to understand it all.

Finally when we were able to go home, a very last minute trip I might add, to see my mom after her major surgery God revealed what He had been up to and my heart was filled with joy!

We got to spend an amazing week with my family and help my mom and dad out for a short time as my mom came home from the hospital.  It was chicken soup for the soul to be there with them, I cherished every second.  It didn't take long to see why God had kept us away as I watched my parents taking care of each other.  Something had changed between them from having only each other to lean on during these trials and struggles.  It was amazing!  I had never seen my parents so close!  There are so many seasons in a marriage, but this warmed my heart to the core to see my father diligently caring for my mom and my mom seemed so comforted by him!  God had kept us away because this was a time for them to grow, for them to only rely on each other and God!  Had I been there I would have taken over, I would have made sure everything was taken care of and I would have robbed them the opportunity to find strength in each other.  I had so many prayers for my mom and dad and seeing them like this answers a good many of those prayers!

Sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers because He is doing something in someone's life!  I forget that sometimes!  I can pray that Ella Mae doesn't have any more friends or teachers move away because my heart breaks for my child, but the truth is that God is working in each of our lives and he can't stop the growth, plan, or purpose of one person to satisfy the needs of another.  He will provide the strength and the comfort my daughter needs in the goodbyes, but he will let people go where he needs them to go so that they can grow!  No one likes to feel like their prayers are falling on deaf ears, but when we pray to the God of all creation we can be sure He hears, and sometimes His silence is to teach us patience, and sometimes it is simply there because His answer is no.  I realized now that I never once considered that God could be keeping me away to help my family.  I never thought that maybe my presence, although a good thing, might hinder the work He was trying to do.  I guess this may help me look at my prayers and His occasional silence from a new perspective!  God is amazing and I am thankful that He showed me why He didn't answer my prayers this time!  In the end He answered prayers that I have been praying for years!

The key is that we need to submit to His will.  His plans are perfect and He sees the bigger picture!  We can trust Him in that!  We live in a fallen world and sometimes we don't get the answers that we want or we lose someone that we love way before their time and we try to make sense of it.  We are not always going to understand the hardships and the tragedy, but God still hears us, loves us, and will provide for us no matter what comes our way....

This is the confidence we have in approaching God:  that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ~1 John 5:14

Pro-Life Prophets

This week our church called for fasting and prayer.  Instead of fasting food I felt led to fast an hour of my sleep each day by setting my alarm for 5:30am and spending that hour praying and seeking God.  It is only day two but God has spoken to me very clearly and I am so excited about it!

This morning I started reading Jeremiah, one of my very favorite books.  God has answered me so many times in the book of Jeremiah and today it was even bigger than I have experienced in the past.

Jeremiah 1:1-19 is a clear call to ministry!  It is a call to Gods purpose for my life and as I read the words I could feel God speaking to me!  As a LIFE Runner we wear Jeremiah 1:5 on our clothes, it is a powerful verse clearly showing that the Unborn are valuable.  Today God showed me that this verse is also a call to all of His children, that we are to know that He has a clear and perfect plan and call to action for each and every one of us!

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

LIFE Runners are Pro-Life prophets!  I had never considered myself a prophet until this very moment.  That is exactly what I am, I have one purpose and one call, that is to go out into the world and tell them God's truth.  Speaking the into the culture of death is scary, its hard, and it goes completely against modern culture.  Most days I feel completely inadequate and unworthy to do such a great thing, but God responds with a promise!

Jeremiah 1:7-8
But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am too young.'  You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

I MUST go and speak what God tells me to speak.  It's not a request, it is a command!  God will make the way known, I won't have to figure it out for myself.  God will provide the words, I won't have to come up with them.  God will protect me and my family, I don't have to fear.  But I must be willing to go!  The call will require immediate obedience.  I must only fear God, and I know that I can trust Him.

Jeremiah 1:17
"Get yourself ready!  Stand up and say to them whatever I command you.  Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.

I need to prepare myself by seeking God in prayer and in reading the Bible.  Just like training for a race it requires daily discipline!  I wouldn't skip a training run and I can't skip quiet time!  The battle won't be easy, but God will be glorified!

Jeremiah 1:19
They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, "declares the LORD."

Whatever call God has put on each of our lives we can be sure that if we are obedient He will see it unto completion.  As the body of Christ we don't get to choose what that call will be, but in seeking Him diligently He will give us a burning desire for what He has planned for us.  I've seen it in my own life.  Not too long ago if you had told me that I would be doing what I am doing now for God and for LIFE Runners I would have thought you were crazy.  I had no passion for it.  When I started to seek Gods will over my life he ignited a burning passion for His calling that cannot be extinguished.  Even on my most overwhelming and exhausting days the desire for what God has put in me does not diminish!  It
continues to grow and grow and I want to follow God wherever He leads me, not to earn His favor but to live for Him!  I want to be obedient, I want to serve Him and honor Him because I know that if I am willing God will use me to further His kingdom here on earth and there is no better reward in this life or the next then to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Run into the Wind

Yesterday I went for a 7 mile run.  It was my first long run since the marathon and it felt so good!  It was, however, a hot day.  I noticed that even though I was not having a hard time with the run, I was getting tired from being so hot.  It wasn't until I turned around and headed back that I realized why the run had seemed easy and hot.  The wind had been at my back giving me a boost but not offering me any cool air.

As I continued back thankful for the breeze I was fighting against it really got me to thinking.  How often in life do we get just a touch off course, and not quite notice the gentle push we are getting from behind until we start to get uncomfortable and realize something isn't quite right?  Sometimes life can seem really easy when you step outside of Gods will, the enemy likes for it to be easy, but there will be a growing discomfort for those who know Gods voice.  I'm not talking about major things here, I'm talking about those small missteps that then lead us in the wrong direction.  Maybe it is a purchase that you left God out of when you should have consulted Him first (we have one of those floating down at the dock), or maybe it is the office gossip that you listen to a little to much, or the TV show that you probably shouldn't watch but can't seem to give up, or the music that you are singing along with.  Things that in and of themselves are not necessarily sinful, they start small, and seem harmless but before you know it the wind has pushed you far down the wrong path and you are starting to feel the heat!

Then you hear God call you back and it requires some work, you are going to have to run against the wind to get back to where you need to be.  The awesome thing is that when God calls us to do something hard he offers us relief and comfort, that breeze that you have to fight also cools you.  That wind that you struggle against strengthens you in every way.  God doesn't tell you to do something difficult and then leave you too it, he attends to you while you follow Him.  I just can't get over His provision and great love for us.  He truly is all that we need!

I am happy for the reminder to take a look at my life daily and make sure there are not any coarse corrections that need to be made.  God isn't finished with me yet and for that I am thankful.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.