God Speaks

I was planning on going back to the US the first week in December.  I was planning to spend some time with my sister and let my kiddo have some much needed cousin time.  I was trying to restock the things that we can't find here, most importantly my hormone therapy.  I was trying to not be here in Fiji while Ryan was gone to the SIM in Singapore.  All of this seemed like a good plan, and then.....

Ryan and I were watching a movie the night before I was going to buy tickets and the thought came from out of nowhere, well nowhere is not accurate, the thought came directly from God.  "I wonder if Ella Mae can travel on less than 6 months validity on her passport?"  I tend to have issues with worry, but am learning to pass those fears on to God when I can't do anything about them.  I started to investigate and found that Fiji required 6 months validity upon reentry and I did the math in my head, nope that was only 5 months.  I mentioned it to Ryan and we discussed if the special immigration letter I would be traveling with would supersede this rule.  We decided Ryan would go to immigration the next day before he bought the tickets.  That was it, we would see what happened, no biggie if I had to wait until we renewed her passport, I could get that done in December and go in January.  Inconvenient, yes, a big deal, no.

Then the phone call came.  The details are not worth stating but as the words came out of my very upset husbands mouth over the phone my initial reaction was not panic or outrage, my initial thought was "wow God, if you hadn't put the first thought into my head this could have ended up being a disaster."  Of course my calm demeanor did not last as the stress of the situation piled on, but in the end I was able to give it all up to God and put my trust in him.

Long story short, due to some confusion over a visa application, if Ella Mae and I had left the Country next week when we tried to return we would have not been admitted back into Fiji for a whole year!  I don't even want to think about how upsetting that would have been for my family! A year apart, away from Ryan, our home, her things, her school, our friends......

God speaks to us, he really does.  He doesn't just speak to us about things you would expect.  Never even for a minute did I have any reason to wonder about Ella Mae being able to travel on less than 6 months of a passport.  I don't even know why I would think of something like that except for God.  I had no reason to have that thought and because of me listening to that one thought we were able to find out a problem that we didn't even know existed.

Now I won't say that I didn't become discouraged by it all.  It means I cannot leave the country until it is sorted, which is being worked on but may take some time.  I did get upset, I did break down, but the more upset I got the more God reminded me that He was taking care of this.  He had pointed it out in the first place.  I finally went for a run and spent my time thanking God and giving the details to Him and now I have peace.  Thats crazy for me, God has changed me so much.  I used to live my life one crisis to the next in a constant state of panic and fear.  Then I truly met God, embraced His peace and my life was forever changed.  See, being a Christian doesn't mean that I don't have trials, actually I probably have more as I am tested and refined.  My relationship with Christ does not keep me from struggle, it just means that I never have to face a struggle alone.

I expect that there will be days that I want to pull my hair out concerning the visa issue.  I expect it may take months for us to finally get our health insurance.  I expect that I may never be able to get my medication here and may have to face menopause at 36.  I know there are more trials headed my way than I can even imagine, but I also know that each trial is an opportunity for me to grow in faith and for God to show me how he can make miracles out of the impossible.

Psalms 3:3
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.

Step into the light

In the light there is not room to hide, there is no place that truth cannot reach.  When truth brings light so many amazing things can happen.  As we partner with our church and embark on this pro-life journey with LIFE Runners here in Fiji, one of the big things that stands out is the lack of "truth."  In discussions with our new LIFE Runners, the question has been raised, how women can have abortions and act like it means nothing, how they can talk of seeing the dead body of a fetus and act like it doesn't matter.  The answer is, until they are led to the truth they are in the dark morally.  They don't see it as being wrong because no one has helped them grasp the gravity of it, that taking another life for any reason is wrong.  The manner of a child's conception does not determine the value of that unique and individual life.  The unborn child has as much right to live as every single one of us.  It is wrong, not just because God says it is wrong, but because we have a moral responsibility to each other to protect the weak and voiceless.

Amazing healing comes with light.  When you are brought to the truth only then can you come to a place of conviction, which leads to repentance, which leads to forgiveness, which ends in peace in salvation.  Women who have had an abortion need to go through this, they need to feel it and let God heal them. They need to know that what they chose was wrong, but there is forgiveness in Christ Jesus.  They need to know that we all sin, and their sin is no different.  All sin requires repentance and a turning from.  All sin requires a debt to be paid and praise God Jesus paid that debt on the cross!

Before someone knows God they may not feel like their life choices are wrong.  They are living by their own moral standard which is guided by emotions.

2 Corinthians 4:3-4
But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.

We are the light, as followers of Christ it is our job to speak truth.  Often times people confuse this truth speaking with judgement.  It is not judgment, we are called to speak the truth, the Holy Spirit convicts our hearts, only the enemy condemns.  God wants us to be convicted, for us to feel what we are doing is wrong so that we can come to him, ask forgiveness, turn from our path and move towards his perfect plan and will.  As a Christian it is my deep love for the lost that I speak the hard truth, not out of judgment.  If someone feels judged they need to look within themselves and see if that isn't their own guilt, and seek God for the answers.  I won't stop speaking the truth, I cant!  Even if I were to loose every friend I have, I have a deeper obligation to be obedient to God, and that goes beyond friends and family.  I seek God daily on a personal level to do this very same spiritual housecleaning in my own life, I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any sin in my life, ask forgiveness, and turn from it.  It doesn't stop, its something I must do daily for the rest of my life.  I too struggle with sin just like everyone, it is part of being human in a fallen world.  My job, however, is to continue being a light in the dark world.

Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

John 1:5
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I love the illustration of a lit candle against a wall.  All objects but the actual flame cast a shadow.  Pure light casts no shadows, there is no darkness in it, nothing is hidden or can hide it.  Its beautiful really.  Light is powerful, it is comforting, it is a basic need.  We are drawn to it, and rightfully so, we are meant to be children of the light!

As a follower of Christ I have had my eyes opened to the truth.  I can no longer claim to not know my sin and so I confess it and turn from it so that I can stay in fellowship with God.  Christianity is not a religion for me, it is who I am.  My relationship in Christ determines everything that I do.  I make no decision without seeking God first.  My life is held to a higher standard, a standard set by God.  That means that there is no part of my life that is separate from this relationship.  I live for God first and foremost and so my life is no longer my own, I am not who I was.

Ephesians 4:23
and be renewed in the spirit of your mind and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The unbelievers eyes are still veiled and they may be unaware of damaging sin in their lives.  As Christians we need to be the light and share the truth.  It is not our place to change their minds, but it is our job to speak the truth and let God do the heart work.  Salvation is for everyone.  God wants all of his children to gather to him.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.