They say the key to life is happiness, and then people pursue this happiness to their misery. I don't think the key to life is happiness, nowhere in the Bible does God promise that we will be happy. Happiness is not sustainable, like all emotions, it is fickle. Don't give up on what I'm saying just yet, hear me out.....
My daughter got to spend a week with her schoolmates at a camp on the other side of the island. At first I thought this week would be unbearable because I knew I would miss her, but Ryan and I decided to make the most of our alone time and have fun, and man did we have fun. We woke up Tuesday early so we could run a 10K together, something we rarely get to do as a couple. We both run, but we never get to run together. It was very nice. Then we hopped in the car and drove down the coast to Natadola, a slice of beauty that is indescribable and pictures do not do it justice. It was low tide so we spent our day walking slowly up the coast to the hidden beaches that most tourists never see. When we returned to the main beach Ryan went fishing and I decided to have a beach massage. It was afterwards as I sat on the beach in silence just breathing it all in that I realized that I had lost my gratitude somewhere along the way and that had caused me to not be content.
I began to pray and thank God for the beauty that was before me, to thank him for all that he provided on a daily basis, to thank him for this time alone with my husband, and the time of growth Ella Mae was most certainly experiencing at camp. I realized that I hadn't expressed my gratitude in awhile and you know what, my attitude reflected that.
It's easy to thank God when we get good news, or a prayer is answered. It's easy to be thankful when things are really good. Sometimes it's even easier to be thankful when things are really bad because you are reminded of how good things can be. Often times we forget to be thankful when life is just life. That was where I was. Fiji was not new and exciting anymore so I forgot to be thankful for the blessing that it is to my family. I am blessed every single day! Even when it's tough, even when it hurts there are so many blessings surrounding me. I pray that God will keep my eyes open to all of the ways he blesses me in every waking minute, so that I don't lose my attitude of being content.
Back to my issue with the pursuit of happiness. Don't get me wrong, I am happy, I love being happy, happy is great, but contentment, that is where it is at. See, maybe a new car might make someone happy, but it won't stay new. Maybe more money will make someone happy, but it will never be enough. Maybe a bigger house will make you happy, but then there is always a bigger house. We work our bodies to the bone in the pursuit of these things that we think will bring us happiness, but they are just things and they cannot sustain our emotions.
1 Timothy 6:6-8
But Godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.
God uses every opportunity to teach us and guide us through life, this week without Ella Mae was a chance for me to reconnect with my husband, to spend time doing things that he likes. I booked us a white water rafting tour on the other side of the island and it was amazing! I would have never gone white water rafting on my own, but because I am in a place of contentment and seeking God who showed me my lack of generosity, I realized that a trip on the river and a night out to dinner would be something that Ryan would love and it was a way to give back to him with my time.
Ella Mae will be home in just about an hour and I am going to remember that she needs me to be generous with my time, that I need to put down what I am doing and focus on her when she has something to show me. I will continue to work towards being generous with myself to those around me. I will continue to pray that God keeps reminding me to keep a grateful heart so that I can be content in all that he has provided.
With only a week left until Suva Marathon my body has recovered and I am enjoying my taper week resting in the strength and healing that God has provided for my body. God is so amazingly good, He has not missed a chance to show me his provision and has continued to do work on my heart and in my life. Sometimes when God shows us things it hurts, its not always pleasant to learn that you have veered down the wrong path of discontent or stumbled over selfishness, but it is awesome when he helps me stand back up again and helps me on my way!
2 Corinthians 12:10
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
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