Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Dear Ryan

To my amazing husband,

This morning I woke up to my alarm set early for a long run.  You rolled over and wrapped your arm around me and I stopped and took a moment to just be in your presence.  You were still asleep and the first light of the morning was coming through the windows and i could see the outline of your handsome face and it made me smile.  You are mine, not just for today, but for this lifetime.  God chose you for me and I cant imagined being blessed in a bigger way then to have you as my partner in this life.

I got up and went for my run, not thinking too much about what you had to give up for me to have this run.  You have blessed me with so many early mornings so that I can run.  You never complain, never once.  In nearly two solid years of me leaving you to get Ella Mae ready for school, sometimes three times a week, you have never given me even a hint that you are frustrated by my need for these mornings.  That's just it, my love, you sacrifice and you do it with that big teddy bear heart that made me fall in love with you.  Not that getting Ella Mae ready is a sacrifice, but you give up that rest, the rest you may need, the rest you most certainly deserve and you do it as an act of love towards me.

I think it's time for me to tell you just what I think of you...

Today after you left for work I ran to the store to get the few things we didn't have time to get on our errand run earlier this morning.  I saw your plane fly overhead and I thought of the terribly long work day you had in front of you.  Then as I arrived home I got a text from you letting me down easy that date night would have to be rescheduled because they threw in another long night shift on Friday. This got me to thinking.  I want to say THANK YOU!  How many days do you run errands with me before you have to go work a six sector day?  All the time!  I know that you would much rather relax at home then run all over Fiji with me, but you do it because you know that deep down I really want you to spend that time with me.  Its the same thing with the early morning runs or the other times that you put my needs so far in front of what you may want or need.  I will never forget when you came out to run the last 10k of my marathon with me just so I would not give up, it was hot and the run was not easy but you didn't want to let me down so you pushed through. How many times have you walked through the door after a hard long day and I immediately ask for you to do something and you just jump right in.  I could go on and on because you are always doing things to show your love for your family.  I've been so selfish! I'm so sorry that I haven't always concerned myself with what you needed in those moments.  What I find truly incredible is no matter what you need you never put it in front of what Ella Mae and I need, NEVER! I want you to know that I see these things, they are being stored up in my heart and they make a big difference to me.  I also want to make you a promise.

In a time when the new feminist norm is to tell men they aren't anything special, or they are unnecessary I want you to know that you are INCREDIBLE!  You are the most amazing man I have ever met.  I don't just love you, my husband, I want to honor you!  I love that you are the head of this household.  You aren't nobody, you are irreplaceable!  Don't think I don't know the sacrifices you have made for us.  I know that you could be flying long haul and sacrificing time away from your family to further your career, but you choose us.  I know that you could be jet rated right now, living the pilot dream, but again you put family before everything.  I would follow you to the ends of the earth (does India count, if so I already have).  I trust your judgment and I respect your authority as the head of this house.  You show more tenderness with our daughter then I could have ever hoped for.  You are the most loving and amazing Daddy and that is an unbelievable blessing in a time where absentee dads seem to be everywhere (or nowhere at all).  I see you, I hear you, and I love you.  You put up with a whole new brand of crazy by being married to me, and yet you always come back with a gentle heart.  You try your best to understand me and to be sensitive about what I need even when I don't know what I need.

You my love are invaluable, irreplaceable, and vital to Ella Mae and I. You are a true man of God.  You represent Him in your words and actions.  You put our ministry ahead of your needs and you never short God when it comes to giving Him back what is rightfully His.  You lead by example and that has taught Ella Mae the importance of tithing, honoring God, and being obedient.  I don't worry about who Ella Mae will marry because if he is anything like her Daddy he will be an amazing husband.  Thank you for filling this home with laughter, for always forgiving and for loving me even when I am unlovable.  I promise to never stop fighting for our marriage, to never stop being your biggest cheerleader, and to love you until my last breath.  You are a gift from God and that I am fully aware of.  From the depth of my heart, I love you and I will continue to love you long after youth has left us because I am asking God to teach me to love you with covenant love.  The kind of love that is not inspired by feelings but comes from His amazing overflow.  The kind of love that cannot be broken because it is a promise, it is a commandment, and it never runs dry.

Love,
Your wife

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