Cyclone No More!

I think we have solid choices in this life, we can be buried by the struggle or we can fight our way through never giving up!  This week I had to make that choice, and boy were there moments when it almost buried me.  Fact is the weeks not over and we are not in the clear just yet, but I have decided that I refuse to stop fighting!  God gives me the strength and that is where I put my hope, in God!

Last Monday Ella Mae started having a mysterious tummy ache, with no other symptoms.  We waited a couple of days because there are so many viruses and infections all over Fiji right now that there was no cause to race in for treatment because it was not in the appendix region, she had no fever, and wasn't terribly bothered by it.  By Thursday she had lost her appetite and other then the continuing low stomach discomfort there were still no other symptoms.  It was time to visit the doctor as we couldn't ignore the fact that it wasn't getting better and she was now no longer interested in eating.  The doctor confirmed that it was not anything dangerous, such as appendicitis, and decided to treat her for constipation since the pain appeared to be intermittent lower intestinal cramping.  He told us to give it 3 days and if it wasn't better we needed to come back.  Fast forward to Saturday and she was miserable, still no symptoms other then this intermittent cramping, but it just wasn't getting better.  We also had a new problem, a line of storms (potential cyclones) were headed for Fiji and it was uncertain if any doctor office would even be open on Monday when we had an appointment with our doctor.  I called our doctor and he told us to increase the laxative and we would have to wait and see what the storms did.

At this point Ella Mae's spirit was defeated.  She was scared that her tummy would never feel better, that she would never feel good again.  My heart broke with every tear she cried, I wanted to promise her that it would go away, but honestly I was starting to wonder.  We gathered as a family and sent out prayer requests to our friends all over the world and Ryan and I laid hands on her and prayed.  It was almost immediately that she had relief from her symptoms and she felt good for the rest of the night.  We were so thankful that God gave her relief and it restored my hope!  Sunday was a day of on and off again cramping and we planned to see her doctor on Monday to consider new treatment options.  I dreaded the weather reports as they came in painting a concerning picture for the week ahead.

Monday we woke up and I called the clinic and they were open so we decided to head there in spite of the torrential downpour going on.  We didn't make it half way before the overwhelming reality hit, Nadi was flooding and we needed to get back home right away!  With tears in my eyes I told Ella Mae we couldn't make it, that we needed to go home and she would have to wait to see a doctor.  It was a completely defeated moment, I felt like I was failing her!  That brave little daughter of mine looked at my eyes in the rear view mirror and put on a brave smile and said, "it's OK Mom, it doesn't hurt that bad."

We grabbed some quick supplies and made our way home, the water rising quickly at every bridge and across our road.  Ryan was flying and I had no idea what this storm was about to do.  TD15F was catastrophic for our little island paradise.  Our river burst its bank and overcame every bridge.  I didn't know that water could rise 20 feet in a few hours, I didn't know that rivers could became raging bulldozers in less than a few hours devouring everything in their path.  I have never seen anything more terrifying that the sheer mass of these flood waters. As more and more pictures came in it was overwhelming to see the destruction!  I prayed Ryan would get home before our road was completely flooded and praise God they sent him home with enough time to get him before our road was impassable for our little car.

Now we were all together but Ella Mae was still in pain and we had no idea how long we would be stuck as the next storm was lined up to hit in the next day.  Our clinic was under water, and so we had to find another doctor to see.  Our friends recommended one in Lautoka which had not been hit as hard with the flooding so the next day we raced to the doctor so we could be seen and get back in time to prepare for what was now looking like a cyclone on its way.

The doctor was wonderful and she took her time with Ella Mae and decided we needed to treat with another round of antibiotics.  We were happy to be going home with something to try, knowing that we wouldn't be able to be seen by a doctor for a few days if the cyclone did hit.  Ella Mae's heart sunk more as she had thought the medicine would make her feel better right away, but it didn't.  We kept telling her 3 days (thats the timeline our doctor gave), and as I type we are on day 2 with mild improvement.  We have found that a heating pad helps the cramping and praise God her appetite is returning, although we must be very careful what we feed her as some things cause more pain then others. Today during one of her cramping episodes she drew this picture and gave it to me.  It says "I wish that I am like this" and the picture is of her happy and smiling.  My heart literally broke!  I want her to feel well again too, and I know that she will, but its hard to help her understand that sometimes it just takes time...

This week was never going to be easy.  I am fasting with our church and fasting weeks are always a time of trial, direction and growth. I accept that and I don't fight against that because I want to grow.  This week as I wrote down my spiritual goals for this fast.  I prayed first and foremost for healing for Ella Mae.  I think that God wanted to work on that area of my faith.  I don't question whether God can heal, I believe without a doubt He can and does.  I have experienced it first hand in my life and witnessed it in others.  The thing is, that I am in a place in my faith where I also accept that sometimes He does not heal.  That does not mean I have weak faith or I question Gods ability, I know what God can do, and I accept that sometime the answer is no.  I have prayed a million times for God to heal my infertility, but His answer is no.  He has a purpose in my infertility and it is the hand I have been dealt.  Out of my infertility is my biggest blessing, Ella Mae.  If I were fertile she could not have been mine and so that miracle, that blessing came from my biggest heartache.  Also, my Mom.  I have never seen someone suffer as long as my Mom.  She endures tremendous pain and struggle, and yet her faith remains strong.  She is incredible to me.  She doesn't feel abandoned by God (although I am sure she has her moments-dont we all) and she doesn't feel rejected by Him.  She believes that her suffering has purpose and may change someone else life and she accepts that.  That doesn't mean she stops praying for healing, it doesn't mean her faith is weak and she doesn't think God can't heal, she just accepts that right now and possibly until she leaves this life His answer may be no.  Sometimes I feel guilty for my acceptance of unanswered healing, but then I remember what the Bible said about problems and trials. Even Paul had physical sufferings and asked the Lord to remove it from Him but Gods answer was no.

2 Corinthians 12:8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in the weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Romans 5:3
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

I have accepted that healing may not come in this life but Praise the Lord, God is more concerned with our eternity!  Waiting for those, who put their hope in Jesus, are brand new bodies.  No more pain, sorrow or struggle, in Heaven we will be healed!  I do believe that Ella Mae's sickness is a passing thing and that she will be healed, I will continue to cry out to the Lord for her and will continue to give her the medicine that is prescribed, but God used this opportunity to talk to me about my viewpoint on healing and to stretch and strengthen my faith!

We woke up Wednesday to find out that we had a Category 2 Cyclone, Zena, on the way.  She would hit us Wednesday evening.  Ryan was at work and the rain had caused the flood waters to make our road impassable in our car .  Ella Mae lounged around, her appetite ever improving as was her energy, and I used my time to put up storm shutters and prepare for the worst.  We had friends and loved ones praying all over the world, a cyclone was not good for Fiji.  The floods had already displaced thousands and the island had still not recovered from the previous Cyclone only 6 weeks earlier.  So many people were without safe homes and we looked to take another direct hit.  It was disheartening to say the least, but there was nothing left to do but prepare and pray.  Ryan was sent home because the storm was in the path of his flight and a mechanical delay had set them back to late to make it out.  Another blessing from God, our Ryan was coming home!  He was scheduled to sleep in Suva for the next 3 nights, but due to this mechanical delay and the weather he would get to be with us for the storm.  Ryan's cab could not take him across our road so he called me to come wait for him on the other side of what is now lovingly called the "Gulf of Nasoso."  This short trek wading through knee deep water got him thinking and he announced that he wanted to take the kayak down to the flood waters and help the many people trying to get across with cyclone supplies and luggage.  I thought is was the best idea I had heard all day.  Ella Mae was feeling much better so we drove down to the water.

I have to say that I have never been so proud of my husbands generous heart as I was that day.  He had an unexpected day off, there was a good chance we were going to lose power later that day and get hit with a now Category 3 cyclone named Zena, but he would rather go help people across the flood water then sit at home and relax.  I don't know how many people he carried tirelessly across that water, a dozen maybe more.  He also carried tools, luggage, and groceries.  In his spare time he took some kids out for fun as their house was under the flood waters and it was a nice way to lift their spirits.  I watched him row back and forth over and over again and the smile on his face said it all.  He was finding joy in serving others!  He didn't do it to be recognized or for a pat on the shoulder.  As I helped one man out of the kayak he asked me "how much he owed." Ryan and I just smiled at him, and I said, "Seriously, do you see how much fun he is having, there is NO CHARGE!  This is just a way to be helpful." The man seemed surprised that Ryan wouldn't try to make a buck on his services and that also made me think of how selfish we can be sometimes as people.

I loved that my husband had put on his LIFE Runners shirt for this great adventure.  I think this, in so many ways, embodied the spirit of LIFE Runners.  Sure, the water was only knee deep and many people chose to walk, and Ryan's service was not necessary.  But for those that took him up on a dry trip across, it was worth while to see the beaming smiles as they reached the other side.  One man had nearly a dozen full grocery bags and walking across would have been a chore, so Ryan took the bags and the man was able to squeeze into a vehicle crossing.  Others had all of their belongings in their suitcases as they had left their flooded homes making their way to a friends house to take shelter.  To be able to give them a moment of help and a smile was well worth it.  In the end I had to drag Ryan out of the water as the rain began to intensify.  I love that my daughter saw what serving others with a glad heart looks like and that being generous with our time and talent honors God.  I guess you can give a Captain the day off but its just in his blood to ferry people to where they need to go! I love Fiji, I bet there were hundreds of stories of people who helped strangers all over the country just like Ryan chose to do.

As the evening drew close everyone continued to pray that the storm would pass us by and as we went to bed we braced for the worst but hoped for the best.  What I can tell you is that God heard those prayers and answered....

"NaDraki Weather update:

The cloud structure of TC Zena began to collapse soon after dark last night as the circulation encountered strong middle and upper level winds which:

1. Pushed the larger cloud bands away to the south, and so there was not much rain to speak of after mid afternoon.

2. Weakened the convection around the center of the cyclone and therefore the winds were much weaker than expected."

Sounds to me like God took TC Zena and SHUT HER DOWN!  He didn't just send her away but he collapsed her, destroyed her.  Another cyclone after Winston and the flooding 2 days earlier would have been beyond catastrophic, and yet this storm that had been intensifying only hours earlier just disintegrated as it neared us....

Matthew 8:26-27
"Jesus responded, "Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!" Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.  The disciples were amazed.  "Who is this man?" they asked.  "Even the winds and waves obey him!"

The answer to that question is the same answer to who stopped TC Zena, it was by Gods hand!  I am so thankful that God cares for us!  Last night God delivered us, He protected us and I will give Him all the glory and honor! I stopped in at a local coffee shop who had this clever sign outside (unfortunately their "flood pool" had nearly dried up by the time that I took this pic).  What I love most about this sign was echoed in my conversation with the man making my coffee.  As we talked about how grateful we were that the cyclone did not he hit he added "Its like God knew Fiji had had enough." We both agree, it was purely a miracle the way a strong and strengthening cyclone simply disintegrated as it neared Fiji.  When you have a thankful heart it reflects in your ability to smile despite your troubles, or to find a way to make light of a huge flooded pond in front of your business!

As the last days of my fast wind down, I am thankful for all of the things God is showing me and teaching me.  I know that Ella Mae will continue to get better and that I just need to be patient and prayerful as I wait on Him.  I can trust Him with my burdens!  God is good all the time!