Some days I struggle with my infertility, but most days I see it as an amazing gift from God. Ella Mae could have only ever been Ella Mae due to our circumstances and I would not trade her for being fertile, not even for one second. Through my infertility God has taught me amazing things, first and foremost what a miracle looks like, Ella Mae is such an amazing miracle. Second, to value every human life (born and unborn), and thirdly a heart of thankfulness that He cares deeply about what our hearts desire and although the answer isn't always in the form we seek it is a exactly what we need.
Today is one of the "hard" days, a day where I long to bring home a baby, a little miracle to add joy to our already joyful family. A brother or sister to bless and be blessed by Ella Mae, who will be the greatest big sister ever. I want to give another piece of my heart away to a precious gift from God that may not come from my womb as Ella Mae did, but will be as much mine as she is. To see Ryan run and play with his children and teach then what a man of God looks like as he does every day with our daughter.
Last summer during one of my 35 mile bike rides in the hills as I rode with my LIFE Runners gear on to raise awareness for the precious unborn, God and I began a conversation and in that precious time of prayer he laid on my heart that he had a down syndrome baby planned for us. That there would be a woman who would choose life for her baby but would be unable to raise her baby and would trust the precious gift of life into our family. When I was 17 God promised me I would carry a baby and now that beautiful girl is nearly 4, so when God lays something on my heart I listen. I don't know when this beautiful child will come into our lives, but I know my heart longs to meet and love this child with a mothers heart.
Every time I see a picture of a child with down syndrome my heart skips a beat. I know that God must have a lot of faith in me because I never imagined being the parent of a special needs child and the challenges that come with. I am under no illusions that their won't be challenges but if God thinks we are able then I know we are. I also know that every child brings joy, love, and their own special gift into a family. On average 9 out of 10 babies diagnosed with down syndrome while in the womb are aborted, that breaks my heart. My prayer is that more mothers facing a down syndrome diagnosis will choose life and if they are not able to raise their child that they will seek a family like mine, there are many of us, who would consider a child with down syndrome a blessing sent from God.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
(Psalms 139:13-14)
Today is one of the "hard" days, a day where I long to bring home a baby, a little miracle to add joy to our already joyful family. A brother or sister to bless and be blessed by Ella Mae, who will be the greatest big sister ever. I want to give another piece of my heart away to a precious gift from God that may not come from my womb as Ella Mae did, but will be as much mine as she is. To see Ryan run and play with his children and teach then what a man of God looks like as he does every day with our daughter.
Last summer during one of my 35 mile bike rides in the hills as I rode with my LIFE Runners gear on to raise awareness for the precious unborn, God and I began a conversation and in that precious time of prayer he laid on my heart that he had a down syndrome baby planned for us. That there would be a woman who would choose life for her baby but would be unable to raise her baby and would trust the precious gift of life into our family. When I was 17 God promised me I would carry a baby and now that beautiful girl is nearly 4, so when God lays something on my heart I listen. I don't know when this beautiful child will come into our lives, but I know my heart longs to meet and love this child with a mothers heart.
Every time I see a picture of a child with down syndrome my heart skips a beat. I know that God must have a lot of faith in me because I never imagined being the parent of a special needs child and the challenges that come with. I am under no illusions that their won't be challenges but if God thinks we are able then I know we are. I also know that every child brings joy, love, and their own special gift into a family. On average 9 out of 10 babies diagnosed with down syndrome while in the womb are aborted, that breaks my heart. My prayer is that more mothers facing a down syndrome diagnosis will choose life and if they are not able to raise their child that they will seek a family like mine, there are many of us, who would consider a child with down syndrome a blessing sent from God.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
(Psalms 139:13-14)
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