To my body, I want to say I am sorry....
This morning as I stood before the mirror I began to look at you and I could feel those bad thoughts rising up. I could feel my disappointment come over me as I surveyed you and was about to let those thoughts ruin my day when I took one more look and everything changed. I started to think about you, all that I have asked of you over the last 35 years, all that I have done to you, and all that you have done for me in return.
I realized as I surveyed you that my heart needed to change because you would never meet my expectations. I was unsatisfied with you 15 years ago when I had no idea how amazing you looked, I was unsatisfied by you 3 years ago when you weighed 30 lbs more than you do today, you just can't win.
You have been put through the ringer. I have overfed and starved you. I have poisoned you with cigarette smoke, drowned you with alcohol, stuffed you with junk food, and treated you poorly for most of my life. Did you hold all this abuse against me when I then changed my ways and asked you for so much more? No, you pushed through the dramatic drop in calories as I started to feed you good healthy food, you gave me all you had as I went from the couch to 6 days a week of grueling cardio. You seemed to love the new life I was asking of you and you gave me everything you had. Did that make me love you or give you the credit you were due? No, I just looked at you with disappointment even as the pounds melted away and pushed you harder.
As the years of a much healthier lifestyle changed you, strengthened you, and refined you I still looked on you with disgust. I pushed you harder, fed you less and asked you for more. Then when you didn't respond fast enough or meet my expectations I would punish you with a day of gluttony and then blame you for not losing those last stubborn pounds. You were trying and I was never happy.
You have run 3 half marathons for me and over 675 miles without ever giving up even when faced with an injury. You have cycled over 700 miles and have pushed beyond what I ever thought possible for you. You have strength trained and mastered extreme cardio and even when I drag you out of bed on day 7 still you give me all you have.
Last month I grew tired of fighting you and I have given you a rest. I have still continued to feed you good foods and I still ask you to train at least 5 days a week but only today did I realize that I need to tell you that I am sorry. I have wronged you.
You carried a baby for me, gave her everything she needed for her to thrive and grow. You were stretched and pushed, poked and prodded, and you gave birth. You have done some amazing things, but bringing my daughter into this world has got to be the most amazing thing you have ever done.
So how do I repay you? By hating you every time I look at you, by telling you that you will never be good enough or look good enough. By letting a number on a scale determine your value? From the depths of my heart I am sorry. Today I saw you in your glory. You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are complete. I am thankful for you and everything you do for me every day. God created you to be just as you are, you are strong, you are healthy, and you are His. I will never tell you that you fall short again. Even if that number on the scale continues to climb I will love you because you are MINE!
I want my daughter to love her body so I will be sure to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I will not complain about you to others and will not think bad thoughts of you anymore. You are my body and I love you.
Do you not know that your bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV)
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. (Psalms 139:14 NKJV)
This morning as I stood before the mirror I began to look at you and I could feel those bad thoughts rising up. I could feel my disappointment come over me as I surveyed you and was about to let those thoughts ruin my day when I took one more look and everything changed. I started to think about you, all that I have asked of you over the last 35 years, all that I have done to you, and all that you have done for me in return.
I realized as I surveyed you that my heart needed to change because you would never meet my expectations. I was unsatisfied with you 15 years ago when I had no idea how amazing you looked, I was unsatisfied by you 3 years ago when you weighed 30 lbs more than you do today, you just can't win.
You have been put through the ringer. I have overfed and starved you. I have poisoned you with cigarette smoke, drowned you with alcohol, stuffed you with junk food, and treated you poorly for most of my life. Did you hold all this abuse against me when I then changed my ways and asked you for so much more? No, you pushed through the dramatic drop in calories as I started to feed you good healthy food, you gave me all you had as I went from the couch to 6 days a week of grueling cardio. You seemed to love the new life I was asking of you and you gave me everything you had. Did that make me love you or give you the credit you were due? No, I just looked at you with disappointment even as the pounds melted away and pushed you harder.
As the years of a much healthier lifestyle changed you, strengthened you, and refined you I still looked on you with disgust. I pushed you harder, fed you less and asked you for more. Then when you didn't respond fast enough or meet my expectations I would punish you with a day of gluttony and then blame you for not losing those last stubborn pounds. You were trying and I was never happy.
You have run 3 half marathons for me and over 675 miles without ever giving up even when faced with an injury. You have cycled over 700 miles and have pushed beyond what I ever thought possible for you. You have strength trained and mastered extreme cardio and even when I drag you out of bed on day 7 still you give me all you have.
Last month I grew tired of fighting you and I have given you a rest. I have still continued to feed you good foods and I still ask you to train at least 5 days a week but only today did I realize that I need to tell you that I am sorry. I have wronged you.
You carried a baby for me, gave her everything she needed for her to thrive and grow. You were stretched and pushed, poked and prodded, and you gave birth. You have done some amazing things, but bringing my daughter into this world has got to be the most amazing thing you have ever done.
So how do I repay you? By hating you every time I look at you, by telling you that you will never be good enough or look good enough. By letting a number on a scale determine your value? From the depths of my heart I am sorry. Today I saw you in your glory. You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are complete. I am thankful for you and everything you do for me every day. God created you to be just as you are, you are strong, you are healthy, and you are His. I will never tell you that you fall short again. Even if that number on the scale continues to climb I will love you because you are MINE!
I want my daughter to love her body so I will be sure to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I will not complain about you to others and will not think bad thoughts of you anymore. You are my body and I love you.
Do you not know that your bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV)
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. (Psalms 139:14 NKJV)
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