Abundant Provision for LIFE

Women don't choose abortion because it empowers them, they choose abortion because they have been defeated by their circumstances.  They have been fed lie after lie, that they are not strong enough to face the crisis in front of them and that abortion is the only choice, but killing an innocent child never solves a problem.  The enemy loves to keep people bound in lies, and this lie has taken over a million lives each year since the legalization of abortion in the US.

Each year Pro-life advocates gather from all over the world and march in cities across the US to stand up and be the voice for the Unborn.  Each year the media ignores the tens of thousands of participants as they try to quiet our voice that is growing louder and harder to ignore.  This year was no different!  The enemy also works hard to destroy these gatherings and to discourage, but I believe that backfires because those of us who are dedicated to serving women in the pro-life movement are not easily turned aside, so when bad weather comes we push forward.  The pro-choice protesters however dwindle in number when the weather gets bad.

I was part of a group of LIFE Runners that had decided to meet at one of the most liberal cities in the US, San Francisco, for the West Coast Walk for Life this year.  As the date for me to fly back to the US neared the enemy attacks began.  First Ryan got sick, and we went through a couple of scary weeks, but trusting in the Lord he was healed.  Just 7 days before Ella Mae and I were to leave she somehow managed to be infected with lice.  Ella Mae’s hair hangs to her bottom so this in itself was a nightmare, but God gave me peace and with one simple prayer I parted her hair and found the one and only live bug in her hair and killed it.  We were able to eliminate the infestation before the first hatch, and that in itself was a miracle!  Then news of overbooked flights started to come down the line making the idea of standby travel a virtual nightmare, but I gave it to God and trusted Him to open seats for us, and I can tell you that He provided above and beyond on the flight out and His hand was all over the flight back!

I only had one short day with my family in LA before heading on to San Francisco, and my awesome sister had offered to keep Ella Mae while I went to this potentially hostile event.  Ella Mae is still much too young to be exposed to the angry and volatile pro-choice crowd.  

As I sat in the airport waiting for my flight I watched the news pour in about a major winter storm moving along the east coast that would directly affect the March for Life in Washington DC.  This storm did not deter the tens of thousands of pro-life advocates as they prepared to stand for life in our Capitol!  The stories that would follow were uplifting and spoke of faith and protection as thousands then found themselves stranded on the turnpike and other roadways for 30 hours.  So many stories all over the Internet about the perseverance.  Its beautiful, when you are truly called to stand for something, nothing will hold you back!  What is even better about the bad weather is that it didn't stop the March for Life in DC but the stories that followed made it impossible for the news to keep the entire event under wraps.  God is so good!  What the enemy meant to destroy God used for His glory.

My flight was delayed 2 hours due to fog in San Francisco, so it seemed that the enemy used weather at both events this year to try to hold us back, but he failed.  Our group of LIFE Runners all made it to San Francisco, a little late, but ready to go.  As I have found from past experience, any time a group of LIFE Runners gather the spiritual growth and team building is outstanding.  This weekend was no different.  We laughed, we prayed, we cried, we encouraged each other forward and we stood united.

The day of the march I was not sure what to expect.  I knew that last year the pro-choice protesters had been very angry  and I wanted to have peace in my heart so I would not respond in a way that was not helpful.  God poured so much peace on me, it was amazing.  As we began to walk in the cold, windy, and sometimes rainy city I did notice that the bad weather had not stopped us, but had kept the protesters home.  There were tens of thousands of us, and maybe 100 of them.  When we did encounter them my heart was so broken for them.  I knew their anger stemmed from a deep hurt, so as each group passed I closed my eyes and cried out in prayer for them.  For them to be delivered, healed and set free.  I could no longer contain the tears and the sorrow I felt for their broken hearts and I continued to let the Holy Spirit guide my prayers.  My sweet sister in Christ, TD, walked along with me, both of us with arms outstretched towards the protesters and joined me in prayer.  I was overcome in my heart for the deep pain these women felt.  What they didn't understand is that they weren't mad at us, they were mad at the lies they had believed that now caused them regret and pain.  I wanted desperately to reach out to them and to love on them, but they would not have received it, so I loved them from afar.

Coming to San Francisco was something that I will try to do every single year from now on, God willing.  We are needed there, our prayers are needed there, we must stand for the women, men and unborn of our nation even if they stand against us.  I know that our purpose there is not just to end abortion but to bring healing to those so destroyed by abortion.  Its not just about the unborn, its about the women, its about the broken families, broken hearts, broken lives.  I am a Pro-Life missionary, and I truly love them both-mother and unborn!

After the Walk we gathered together for our last evening together.  Its always so hard to see these “retreats” end but you walk away feeling energized.  Of course the enemy always tries to attack and he wasted very little time trying to steal my peace.  Ryan text that I would need to fly back to Fiji the next day and not wait until Monday as planned.  That meant I would have 5 hours between my flight to LA and my flight to Fiji.  For me that stole my peace, but only for a moment.  Ryan prayed with me, my teammates prayed with me and God reassured me as I gave it up to Him.  I knew that there was a significant chance I would not be able to get on a flight back that week, as the loads were heavy.

At the airport I checked in and was told that if everyone showed up that we would not get to fly home that night and the next few days didn't look any better.  Instead of freaking out I opened my Bible app and read words that shaped my night.  Its a blessing the way God speaks directly to our specific needs.  Right at that moment I was not having a flight crisis, I was having a faith crisis!  The opening verse that God sent me directly to was;

Matthew 17:20

He replied, “Because you have so little faith.  Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”

After reading this I began to pray with Ella Mae right then and there that God would open two seats for us and get us home.  I told God that I needed Him to move this mountain, and then I did something I don't do often enough in prayer, I believed it done.  No question, no doubt, I told God what I needed and I expected Him to deliver, because He promises to provide for our needs.  Don't get me wrong, I trust God with my requests all the time, but this time I was declaring it done in the name of Jesus.  I wasn't going to take no for an answer.  I had prayed before we left Fiji that God would get us back in time and I was trusting Him to deliver.  Then Ella Mae and I spent the next hour singing praises while we waited.  I want to tell you that God is FAITHFUL!  I was at peace while we waited and then they handed me my tickets!  The gate agent apologized that he couldn't give us the upgrade but he had given us the bulk head to make it more comfortable.  I was just thrilled to have a seat!  I didn't know how amazing and abundantly God had truly provided until mid flight I was speaking to an attendant.  The seat next to Ella Mae was empty so it gave EM the opportunity to get comfortable, which is always nice.  The flight attendant told me that some of the other people on standby almost got bumped but we all made it on and the empty seat next to EM was the only empty seat on the whole plane!  God didn't just give me and EM a seat, he provided an extra seat next to us so that we could see his abundance!  It was powerful and it was a blessing.  God wants to provide, He cares deeply for us.  The same way He cared enough about getting us on this flight, He cares about the women who have found themselves in a crisis pregnancy.  He can, and desires, to make a way.  To provide for her and give her everything she needs to persevere.  He wont just let us fall, He is there waiting to catch us!

Women for Women

If the message of feminism is to empower women, to encourage them to reach for the stars and let nothing hold them back, to never let anyone stand in the way of a dream or ambition, and to always ensure equality amongst all genders then today's pro-choice feminists have completely missed the point!

We don't empower women by telling them that they are not strong enough to face a challenge.  We don't empower women by telling them the only way to get through something tough is to run from it, and we certainly don't help women by telling them the only way to reach their dreams and ambitions is to end the life of their unborn child!  Abortion hurts women, it destroys not only the unborn but breaks something in the women who chooses her own desires over the life of another.  If today's feminists truly stand for women then they should rally around these mothers in peril and help encourage them.  They should show them that they are in fact strong enough, brave enough, and more then capable of choosing life.  That empowers women!  A woman is able to rise above her circumstances and be more then she ever thought she could.  Maybe in the end she will choose adoption for her child, but that act of selflessness empowers a woman far more then ending a precious life.  Its time for the root of feminism to be revisited by women.  The feminism I see represented today is a far cry from those brave women who long ago paved the way for equality.

I am a woman and I can say that 90% of today's feminists do not in any way represent my view on women and the world.  They have lost the point and direction and it makes me sad.  We don't need to emasculate men to be empowered women.  We don't need to prove ourselves to anyone and we certainly need to stop fighting each other!  The nonsense of stay at home moms vs working moms, breast vs bottle, attachment parenting, co sleeping, spanking or not, these are not areas to judge each other and draw lines.  As women we need to be unified, and we aren't!  I am a stay at home mom, that is a gift as far as I am concerned.  I have had a career and for me being a stay at home wife and mother is the best job I have ever had.  I can respect that it is not for every mom and I applaud working women, but for me it is the only way.  We make sacrifices to have me stay home, we had to move to the other side of the world to be able to afford it, but God provided a job and a loving Christian school for my daughter to attend.  There are days where going to work would seem so much easier to me, but I am thankful that I get these 18 years at home with Ella Mae.  I am a wife who respects her husbands role as head of household.  That means that in the end my husband calls the shots, and you know what, that is the way it is supposed to be.  You know why I can submit to him?  Because we live in a marriage of mutual respect and he listens to my opinion and view and takes everything into consideration.  We pray about things, we talk about things, we love and respect each other and I will never apologize for being a wife who loves, honors, and obeys her husband. This is how I teach my daughter to be a strong woman, by being an example of a strong, empowered woman.

The family structure has been attacked over and over again, and its not men who are destroying the family structure, it is women who are so blinded by feminism that they can not see that women and men have different rolls for a reason.  In most cases women are emotionally driven and men are logical.  Sorry ladies, its true.  When push comes to shove men will view a situation in a logical manner while we work it out with our hearts.  The blend is important, it is part of the design.  It is also the reason why God established marriage between a man and a women.  We compliment each other, we accent each other, and when we work as a team with Christ in the middle we are unstoppable.

If women want to stand up for women, it is time to stop telling women that they only way to handle an unplanned pregnancy is to end the life of the unborn.  Its time to remind women just how strong and courageous they are, that nothing can stand in the way of their dreams if they just take a moment to breathe, seek council, and trust in the Lord for guidance.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

If we want to help our sisters, then we need to love them in their circumstances.  Instead of a quick fix (although I do not believe there is anything quick fix about abortion), we need to help them face their fears and concerns and give them options they can live with.  Options that empower them and don't harm them.  Women are hurt by abortion, they may hide from that hurt, they may repress that hurt, but sooner or later it will overwhelm them in one way or another.  Post abortion women face major struggles with depression and often times physical problems.  Even worse those who encouraged them to abort often wont help them through their regret or pain because they have worked so hard to convince people that there is nothing immoral about abortion, that they cannot understand the emotional pain a woman may feel after.  When women leave an abortion clinic they are left with little or no support.  You know where those hurting women find solace?  At crisis pregnancy centers, surrounded by those who gently tried to persuade them not to take the life of the unborn.  As pro-life missionaries we welcome those broken by abortion.  We are there to walk them through the destruction and trauma they have experienced.  No judgement awaits the hurting post abortion woman, only encouragement and support.  Its time for women to take a stand for life and stop peddling death!  A woman can overcome her circumstances without taking the life of an innocent.  A woman in an unplanned pregnancy is strong enough, is brave enough, is more than able to choose life and that is a decision everyone can live with!

Limitless

Sometimes you read that one scripture that simply captivates you, a scripture so powerful you wonder how you did not see it before.  You know you have read it in the past but today for whatever reason that scripture screams at you from heaven!

It has become habit for me to take my quiet time at a local coffee shop, mostly because at home its hard for me to not be distracted.  As I read this scripture and sipped my iced coffee I got goosebumps from the words I was reading.  I don't think there is anyone in the Bible who lost more and suffered more than Job.  A truly righteous man whose faith was tested beyond what I could imagine.  He lost everything, or so it seemed.  To say he lost everything would actually be false, he still had something left, his faith!  He shows that if God is all you have you have everything you need.

The scripture starts out with Job describing the incredible works of God.

Job 26:7
He spreads out the northern skies over empty space;  he suspends the earth over nothing.  He wraps up the waters in his clouds;  yet the clouds do not burst under their weight.  He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it.  He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters for a boundary between light and darkness.

To me all of these things are incredible.  I cant do any of those things, no one can.  God created the heavens and the earth and he alone controls it.  "He suspends the earth over nothing" that alone provokes thoughts beyond my reasoning!  None of these things Job talks about are small in nature and yet the verse that stopped me right in my tracks, made me put down my coffee and say "whoa" is the next one.

Job 26:14
And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him!  Who then can understand the thunder of his power.

WOW, just think about it!  If these are considered by Job to only be a speck of what God can do then his faith far exceeds the level that I can comprehend!  I want his faith, I want to see how big God truly is.  I realized that in some small way I limited God.  I saw those amazing things that He has done and I thought them to be larger than life, and yet Job is right, they are a tiny portion of what God can do, not the peak of his abilities!  If my faith was that big all of my daily worries would simply disappear!  I pray that my faith increases to even a portion of this!  I realize that as much as my faith has grown it can be so much more!  I also know that if I ask God to increase my faith and I am willing to submit to Him that He is faithful and will do just that!

I used to be a big time worrier.  I still worry but nothing compared to what it used to be.  I'm learning to find peace while I trust in the Lord.  Just last week Ryan had a health scare that would have driven me to hysteria only a few years ago.  Pilots health is nothing to mess around with, their career rides on them being healthy.  When something threatens their health it can permanently end their career.  We prayed over Ryan, and we prayed over the situation, and even though it took nearly two weeks to pass, I was left in peace.  God had given me that quiet to wait in.  I just knew that he was healthy, and that this was going to pass without causing harm.  There were also people praying all over the world for him.  I believe without a doubt that God healed him.  In the end Ryan was given a gold star clean bill of health and the situation has passed.  I will hold firm that this was only by the grace of God.  His doctor even asked him if he had "the gift of touch" (healing) and Ryan was able to witness and tell him that he is a Christian and he believes his family does.  When a doctor gives God credit for your miraculous and unexplained turnaround you cant help but be excited by that!

I still cant get over the power in the words of Job.  The message that God has revealed through it all.  It is possible to lose EVERYTHING and still be rich because you refuse to let go of faith and God refuses to let go of you.  God cares intimately about the details of our lives.  That is incredible.  He formed the universe and He cares about me and my fears, doubts, worries, and concerns.  He shares in my joys, my triumphs, my hopes and my dreams.  I have only seen a whisper of what He can do, and that whisper is greater than I could ever imagine.  I hope I never look at trials the same again.  I pray that God gives me that kind of faith.  I believe He will if I will just trust in Him to show me the way!

Colossians 1:17
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Christmas a World Apart

This year has been one of the hardest Christmas' for me.  I can not pinpoint why, its certainly not the first time I have spent Christmas overseas, but this one seemed harder.  I spent the entire month grasping at things that "felt like Christmas" but kept coming up short.  For me Christmas is the most special time of the year.  The celebration of my Lord and Saviors Birth is something to cherish.  I do miss my family, and I miss my friends, but I guess I am finally in a place where I was trying to figure out how to celebrate Christmas in the tropics, when Christmas has nearly always been "white" for us.  South Dakota and its beautiful landscape and snow always brings a sparkle of magic to the season.  I think I have finally grabbed hold of the fact that Fiji will be our home for a very long time, and I am happy about that, but that reminded me of something I had not thought of.  I may have grown up with frosty white Christmas' but Ella Mae is growing up with tropical ones.  I realized that we needed to start new traditions and make special memories with her instead of me lingering in my past.

We decided this year that we would spend Christmas Eve at Natadola and that would be a tradition for us.  I am so happy we went.  It was the perfect day at the beach and we had an awesome time.  The water was calm so I went out for a float.  As I floated there in the near silence of the day I was swept away by the peace of it.  As long as I floated in the water with my eyes closed I was lulled into a silent place of meditation and prayer.  I waited on the Lord.  He kept sending me "peace" as His message.  I realized that as I floated there and trusted God it was a lot like the way our lives go when we surrender and trust HIm.  As long as my eyes were closed and I was relaxing in Him allowing my thoughts to rest on Him and trusting Him to direct the currents I had complete peace.  It was only when I opened my eyes and lifted my head did my body sink and the noise of the world interrupt. It was beautiful really.  I spent that time in quiet reflection talking to God and telling that I desire to spend this next year with His peace as I trust Him to carry me down His path on His current.  I want Gods plan, Gods will, Gods way.  Right then and there as I floated in peace God reminded me that my sins have been washed away, that I am brand new in Him.  In that silent moment between me and God I offered up my prayers of repentance and asked God to baptize me and set me on His path for the year to come.  As I sunk below the water and then rose again I felt so much peace.  I am so thankful for Fiji, for our Christmas memories for years to come and the adventures and plans that God has for my family!

I pray that all of my friends will experience Gods love in an even deeper way in 2016.  I pray that I will serve God in an even greater way in 2016.  I pray that God will strengthen my family in every way in 2016.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

Merry CHRISTmas and a prosperous New Year!

That Race was Brutal....

Bru-tal
adjective
savagely violent
*punishingly hard or uncomfortable
*direct and lacking any attempt to disguise unpleasantness


This last week I flew from Fiji to California and on to Las Vegas to run an amazing race with my LIFE Runner teammates.  From the start it was clear that the enemy didn't want us there and he waged war against many of us in our lives and our families, but we pushed forward and arrived right where we were meant to be.  I can admit to you that of all of the places in the world the LAST place I wanted to go to for a race was Las Vegas, but it was the exact place God needed us to be.

I no longer struggle with my past addictions of alcohol, cigarettes, and the party lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I go looking for it.  It has been a long time since I have been in the environment filled with all of the lusts of the flesh, the things that kept me in darkness for so long, but I trusted God and I went to sin city ready to stand for LIFE and for truth.  You cant miss the enemy roaming around in Las Vegas, he doesn't slink, he lives out loud in the open and you can feel his very presence the moment your feet touch ground.  We were there to be a small beacon of light in a city shrouded in darkness, it seemed daunting, but then I kept reminding myself who goes before us, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

The smoke, the gambling, the drunken masses, "sex" being sold on every billboard, skin everywhere you turned, and lives in the midst of being broken and shattered around every corner.  Las Vegas is the place where sin lives in the open, glorified for all to see and encouraged to join in.  As I walked through the smokey casino from my room to the street I looked at the people, some drunk in the middle of the day, others hopefully dropping money into slot machines with a dream of getting rich while throwing it all away, many looking for love or breaking vows, my heart broke.  My heart broke because I was once these people, desperate for the world to satisfy in some small way not realizing that the world will always fail you.  There was a point in my life where I was one who drank to numb the hurt, who searched for love from strangers, who stumbled around in the dark turning my back on the light.  I wanted to help them, to show them that love was waiting for them, He is the light and all they need to do is step out of the darkness.  Satan is such a liar, and he loves to keep us pinned down in the weight of this world and its troubles, but Jesus is always extending His hand to us, waiting for us, never giving up on us.

Matthew 5:14
"You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden."

It was a powerful weekend of team building and I am so thankful for my teammates.  If I ever had to face Las Vegas they were the people I wanted to do it with.  People that I could be real with, express how heavy of a burden my past mistakes felt like surrounded by this place.  They were uplifting and encouraging and we, as a team, brought the Light of Jesus into this dark city.  We had the opportunity to pray over Las Vegas' pregnancy resource center, First Choice Pregnancy Services.  It is a tiny jewel of a clinic in this massive city run by the flesh.  It perfectly stood its ground ahead of the gated and uninviting abortion clinic.  As I walked down the street praying over the path a pregnant woman would take towards the abortion clinic it warmed my heart to see this center standing in the gap beckoning women in with love and kindness.  I was floored by the sheer numbers this center sees each week and it is clear that God is using them to save lives by the thousands!  It was a privilege to pray over the clinic, to lay my hands on its walls and ask for blessings and protection, for lives to be saved, both of the mother and the child.  I also grasped the cold black bars of the abortion clinic.  The moment I began to pray I was overcome and began to cry.  These women are lied to by the world, they are given promises that cannot be kept and the world has failed them.  In a city where sex sells, and flesh is the currency, women find themselves stuck when they face unplanned pregnancy.  They feel like they have no other choice and then the abortion clinic sells them abortion as the only option.  My heart was broken right then and there and I continued to pray and cry out to the Lord to reclaim this place for His glory.  It is my hope that not one more life will be taken at that clinic, and that First Choice will continue to grow and provide loving care for women in need.

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand

Race time came and it was less than ideal.  First off it was a night race and for me that was a challenge for my food intake, but by the grace of God I worked it out and was able to run and not be full.  The Las Vegas Rock n Roll Marathon/Half is huge!  I believe that there were nearly 40,000 people with the 4 races combined.  I have never seen anything like it.  It took a full hour for my corral to make it to the start line.  In the time of waiting weather decreased and we faced a brutal race.  20-25mph winds gusting up to 40mph, then came the rain and the temperature was cold.  As I stood there cuddled up with teammates waiting for the start I was drawn into the club music that was blasting.  Music was always a gateway for me.  One of the first things God called me to purge out of my daily life after my complete return to Him was my music.  I realized how quickly that familiar music pulled me back into memories of my party days.  My heart became heavy waiting and I fought the urge for a night out on the town.  I began to pray and then put on my ear buds and began listening to my Christian music.  God gently encouraged me forward, reminding me that I was a new creation, the past was behind me and forward was the only direction He wanted me to look.  When I passed the start line the rain started and I smiled realizing that this race was going to fight me to the end, but God was with me.  As we rounded the corner to head back down the strip, all of its lights, and allure drawing you in I began to pray and thank God for delivering me.  I realized that this was my redemptive run.  Satan had lost me, God had delivered me back into the fold so many years ago and this was my chance to face the party that used to call my name and reject it for Gods glory.  As I ran God began to heal my past.  My shame disappeared, my sorrow and regret faded, and I realized that I was brand new.  I had faced my fears and God had delivered me.  As I ran I prayed, I had to pray, there was no other way I was crossing that finish line.  I needed God every single step.  It was cold, it was windy, I was tired, but I was not going to give up!  There, running amongst thousands, I knew that God had a mighty purpose for not only me, but for LIFE Runners in Vegas and all over the world,  I was so happy I went!  Sometimes the gusts of wind would nearly knock us over, and by the grace of God I kept standing.  That is how life is, the world tries to knock you down, and sometimes it succeeds, but God is there to pick you up if that happens.  This race was hard, I struggled with the cold, the wind, and random runners aches that aren't even worth mentioning.  God continually encouraged me forward and I found that I had everything I needed.  When I run, I rarely run with a time goal because I let God set my pace.  I trust God that I go the speed I need to go to impact the people around me with His LIFE affirming message.  I did hope to PB this race, and set a hopeful time goal.  As I ran and fought the elements I resigned myself that I would just be happy to finish the race.  God is so faithful, He gave me so much energy the last 3 miles that I pushed earlier than I ever would have, and if I hadn't been fighting to get through a crowd of walkers and 40mph winds attempting to take me out I know I would have blown my goal out of the water.  In the end I did get my best time ever of a half marathon and that was awesome, but that was not the prize.  The prize for the weekend was looking my past in the face and saying, "you have no power over me anymore.  My sins are bought and paid for and I willingly give my life over to God every single day for His purpose not my own!"  The medal was all of the people who approached us and asked about LIFE Runners, or who made encouraging comments.  The weekend was a blessing filled with amazing team and friendship building, an opportunity to minister to each others hearts. You see people are looking for something Vegas can't give them, they are looking for love, hope, and freedom and that can only be found in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven

The word of the weekend was "brutal."  It comes from a funny elevator encounter with a courageous young man who referred to his first 5K as brutal.  You had to be there, but considering that he was speaking to seasoned runners, the idea of a brutal 5k was too far behind us to remember.  Fortunately God reminded us what a brutal Marathon/Half marathon looked like the very next day.  We laughed and joked about "brutal" races all weekend, and it created some extremely fun memories, but somehow this word "brutal" reached deeper into my heart the more we spoke of it.  I began to realize that "brutal" was the perfect word for the battle we fight every day for LIFE.  You see women face brutal opposition when they are coerced to get an abortion, they face brutal hardship when friends and family reject them in the face of unplanned pregnancy.  They are stuck with the brutal consequences of past abortions that flood them with guilt and sorrow.  Those precious unborn are ripped from the womb and die brutal deaths.  An abortion is one of the most brutal acts that can be performed on a woman.  Brutality is satan's handiwork, he loves to hurt us, to make us suffer.  Abortion is his crown jewel, convincing society that it is right to brutally remove the unborn from their mothers womb for convenience sake.  We went to Las Vegas to offer love and hope, and I believe for that weekend satan could not step foot in Vegas because we came there as the light of Jesus and the Light drives out the darkness.

God also blessed my family while we were away by answering some prayer needs and bringing healing to some relationships.  God is so good, I just can't say that enough.  If you lay your burdens at His feet He will carry you and them.  He never fails us, even when it feels like He isn't answering.  He sees a picture so much bigger than we could ever imagine and I am thankful that I am finally in a place where I am learning to rest in the unknown, because He has it all in the palm of his hands....

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

At the Cross

Today as I ran with my husband I was reflecting on how unimaginable it is that Jesus not only died for me on the cross, but He would have died for just me, even if I was the one hammering in the nails.  It was in that moment when I really started to think about the character list involved at the crucifixion that I clearly saw that I was at the cross and at one point or another in my life I have been every single one of the characters there that day.  My heart tried to grasp the heaviness of it all, and I felt Gods love even stronger in that brutal reality!

We are Pilate when we decide to go along with what society says for the sake of not stirring up the crowd.  How often do we say things like, "Well I would never personally do that but who am I to tell someone else what they cannot do" that is a Pilate moment, a moment when we know what is right but we hide behind fear of rejection and refuse to stand against what society is force feeding us.

We are the Pharisees when we get so caught up in legalism that we lose sight of everything that Jesus has shown us.  When we start to trust works and ritual for our salvation instead of trusting God that His grace is sufficient.  That our sins have been forgiven by Christ alone and that there is no payment to be made.  We become the Pharisees when we get far to caught up in doctrine that we miss the point, that it is our job to trust completely in the Lord for deliverance and to lead others with love and not judgement.

We are the fleeing disciples when we aren't willing to speak the truth in the face of rejection.  When we remain quiet over what God is telling us to do instead of being bold.  When we hide and hope that the moment will pass us by instead of being willing to face the scorn of unbelievers.

We are the soldiers who laugh and jeer at Jesus when we openly defy Him, when we say "sorry God not this time, I'm doing this my way."  When we choose to stray but still hold on to a tether of truth, when we put God in our back pocket because we just aren't quite ready to fully surrender.

We are the women at the foot of the cross when we cling on to Jesus in the moment of our deepest fear and loss, when we are sure that nothing good can come from the situation even though Jesus has promised that He can use everything for His purpose and plan.  In that desperate moment when fear and sorrow over take we draw as near to the savior as we possibly can.

We are the angry crowd cheering for Jesus crucifixion when we pull back from God and allow the world to latch on.  When we give ourselves over completely to the madness that is driven by the enemy, the lies, the deceit, the desperation.  We join the crowd when we are willing to give up on faith and claim our spot in the flesh.

So many characters, and yet in my life I have been almost every last one at least for a time.  I was at the cross, I condemned Jesus with my fear of rejection, I battered and bruised him by acting out my sinful desires, I rejected him with my satisfaction in things of the world, I abandoned him when the path got scary, and finally I ran to him in my moments of desperation where he opened his nail pierced hands and wrapped his loving arms of redemption around me.  We have been to the cross, and the only question is will we rise up and accept His gift and give our lives over to Him for eternity or remain in the cast of characters still desperate for peace in a world that offers none.

We can let our sins and failures consume us or we can let God consume them with His loving redemptive fire.  All we have to do is turn and face him, He took our shame to the cross and rose victorious all so that He could have eternity with us.  He died on that cross for everyone and He wants us to come as we are, battle scarred, weary, broken, and lost so that He can show us how beautiful His plan is.....

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--

John 1:4
In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this:  to lay down one's life for one's friends.

Praise God!

I think its really important to give God the glory when He answers your prayers and provides for everything you need.  I think its important to always share the way God provides for us, to give others hope and encouragement.  A few months ago I wasn't sure I could handle being in Fiji anymore.  I felt like God was asking me to really trust Him as He took some very important people from us.  I know that God has to work in every ones life and what was best for those 3 families was to be relocated elsewhere, but it left a noticeable hole in our lives.  Ella Mae's 3 closest friends were gone, her beloved teacher was gone, and 3 very special women were no longer in my daily life.  My heart was broken for my family, but we gave it to God and we trusted as we moved forward!

I can say looking back on how many ways God provided that I am so very thankful!  He took care of every need and even blessed us beyond!  Ella Mae, although she still misses her lovely teacher and her French buddy, she really likes her new teacher and has a new Australian friend.  God brought into my life someone who I am extremely blessed by.  She was an instant friend and we have so much in common its scary!  Gods timing is perfect and He knew that this new friend would not only be a perfect match but also someone who would join in the ministry and have the same love for women and serving the community.  If she had not come along when she did I don't think I would have gone forward with a major fundraiser that we have in the works right now.  God knew I needed a friend, and not just any friend, He provided the perfect friend!

We have been blessed in Ryan's job, and are very happy with his career decision to come and stay in Fiji.  Our church family is truly a powerful blessing and we look forward to growing with them for many years to come.  I finally feel like we are home, so much so that we added a furry family member to the house, our sweet dog Treasure!  Of course there are still storms and there is a lot going on with my parents.  I wish I was closer to help them, but I trust God.  He has never let me down and I know that He will take care of everything, just like He always has!

A few months ago I was completely overrun by worry, fear, and doubt, but now I am experiencing Gods perfect peace as I truly trust Him with all of the details!  Things won't always go the way we want them to, but when your hope is in Jesus you can trust that His plan is perfect and will get you where you need to be!  Its not by chance that my awesome Pastor preached on just what I needed to be reminded of this weekend, I love when God speaks directly to me!

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.

AND BE THANKFUL!  I want Gods peace, and for that my faith must be deepened.  God never stops working on my heart and my faith cannot be deepened without trial, and I will try my best to be thankful in advance as I wait on the Lord to bring His promises into completion.  I've noticed that as He increases my peace my patience is improving.  I struggle with lashing out in anger and frustration at those I love when I am stressed and it is an area I have committed to the Lord to change in me.  That is exactly what He is doing.  When I seek Him in stress I receive His peace and my long-suffering is increased.  I am slowly learning to stay calm when I would usually lose my cool.  I have a long way to go, but by reflecting on all of His past provision it is easier to trust Him with future worries and fears and not let them rule my heart and attitude!  To God be the glory, He is not done with me yet!