One of the truly awesome things about living in Fiji is the amazing reefs and islands that surround the main island. To experience Fiji in all of its glory you really need a boat, so we bought a boat that we co-own with a friend. The water here is a color I can't describe and the reefs are healthy and teeming with life. Fiji is made up of 322 islands, of which 106 are inhabited. These islands are graced with beautiful white sand beaches, surrounded by gorgeous coral reefs and pristine azure waters.
Now, for the real meat of this post....I am terrified of being on the open ocean in the boat. I have no idea why, nothing bad has ever happened to me in a boat, but when we get out there and there are any kind of waves or weather my body goes into total fight or flight mode and I start to panic. This has been really upsetting for me because I want to be able to go out with all of our friends and enjoy our new investment. Ryan loves the boat, he wants to fish and explore and I want to be a part of that. The last few times we have tried to go out the weather has not been in our favor and so we have not had much fun. Yesterday was a turning point.
The weather looked good and a few of our friends also had the day off so we left early morning for a last minute boat trip. When we got out on the water it was nearly glass and as I thanked God I could hear him say, "this trip is my gift to you, enjoy it and trust in me that I am taking care of you."
I was enjoying the beautiful water all around us, the schools of game fish that we kept finding, as we headed out to Malolo island which is farther away than I would like. I kept finding myself scanning the sky for danger as the cloud cover increased. Every time I would start to let fear take over God would remind me that nothing was going to happen, that it was going to be OK. After a short ride, thanks to perfect weather, we arrived at the reef. At first I was hoping we would just keep going on to the island, knowing that if we stopped to snorkel we wouldn't get home until later in the day when the "chop" was supposed to increase. At the reef I found peace again as the sky cleared. There was just no way I was going to miss the opportunity to jump into this crystal clear water! The reef was gorgeous and we swam around and explored, fished, and just spent time together for about an hour before pressing on to the island for some lunch.
The moment we came to the far side of the island I was struck by the sheer beauty of this place, it was incredible and impossible to explain. Sandbars rising up in the middle of the ocean changing the water from deep blue to tan and every shade in between. This was the side of Fiji that some people save their whole lives to be able to come visit, and this is my backyard! Again as we pulled into port I started to worry that if we stayed to long the water may get rough, but God reminded me again to enjoy my day, and walking along the beach and taking in the sites, that's what I did. I realized as we ate that sometimes I feel like I am in a movie here because this life is something out of a movie. The places that we are seeing are so incredible and I can't even express how blessed I am that God gave us this time here.
When we finally headed back out to sea and left the far side of the island we were met with the chop increase that had been forecast. There were some decent swells but Ryan piloted his boat perfectly and made our way back towards our port. During the hour long ride home I sought God as the fear was trying to overtake, but I was finally able to rest in him. To trust him completely and to shut down the fear. I prayed during most of the ride, and I just talked through what I was feeling and as I did I was able to release it to Him. We made it safely home, everyone reflecting on what an awesome day it was.
Later that night as I thought about it all I realized that I nearly missed my blessing because I was too scared to trust God and dive in. If I had stayed home I would have missed the entire day! If I had not jumped in at the reef I would have missed some of the prettiest reef I have seen yet. If I had not been willing to go to Malolo for lunch I would have never seen a side of paradise that is beyond what I imagined. Had I not been willing to turn my fear over to God on the ride back I would not have the confidence I now have to try again.
This was a great faith lesson for me! How many times in my life have I robbed myself of the blessing that was right on the other side of something scary or hard? A moment where God asked me to trust Him and fear won out? I wonder what I missed out on...
I hope that this is a lesson I carry with me always. Sometimes God asks us to do something that is downright scary, outside of our comfort zone, and doesn't make sense. If we can find the courage rooted in our faith in Him and we jump in head first who knows the blessing that is waiting on the other side! I for one hope to never rob myself of a blessing just because I am scared!
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