All or Nothing

**This particular post is addressing the body of Christ, those who have chosen to believe.  I am not going to argue Christianity here, but am writing this for those who have already chosen to follow Jesus or to seek Him.**

The Christians of today fall into two categories; either your lifestyle is transformed and molded to fit your faith foundation (which is built on the Word), or your faith foundation must conform to your lifestyle, to fit the desires of your heart.  Only one of these is built on the foundation of truth, and sadly many Christians are being led astray by the other.  If you believe in God and you choose to give your life to Jesus, trusting in Him alone for salvation you will find that you must be changed, you cannot stay the same.  Your life must be transformed and you need to trust God to lead you in the way you should go.  He gave us very clear instruction in the Bible on how we are to live.

The Bible is not a “buffet.” You don’t get to wander down the line picking and choosing what you like and leaving behind what you don’t.  You either take on the whole package or none at all.  Too many Christians have chosen to pick and choose the parts of our faith that they like and ignore the rest but it doesn’t work that way, not for any of us.  Those professing to be Christians while living in lifestyle sin are skating on very dangerous ground.

First off Jesus is the Word

John 1:1-4

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made;  without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

John 14:6

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.

If Jesus is the Word then we know that the Word is not changing because;

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Revelation 22:13

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.

The Word was written by man but only through Gods divine inspiration;

2 Timothy 3:16-17

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

God is trustworthy!

Hebrews 6:17-18

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with and oath.  God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.

So now we know that the Bible, the Word, was written by man inspired by God because Jesus IS the Word.  We also know that, in its entirety it is truth, it is the way, and it is life because Jesus is the all of these things and He is the Word.  So now we can read the Bible and know that it is unchanging and relevant throughout the ages, because it tells us so, and Jesus is the Word and the truth so we can trust in it completely.

So what does God say about men and women?

Genesis 1:27-28

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;  male and female he created them.  God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.  Rule over the fish in the sea an the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Firstly, we see that God created the sexes (our genders), Male and female.  These are not subjective or feelings, they are biological fact created by God for the purpose of multiplying and filling the world with more humans.  We know that the Word is unchanging so we can therefore understand that there are no other sexes or genders except what God created.  Gender identity issues are signs of a broken world and the psychological and emotional struggles humans may encounter living in a broken and fallen world, but they are not a new truth to be taught.  There are only two sexes and the gender you are born with is the gender God made you to be. 

What does God say about sexuality and lifestyle sins

Revelation 22:14-15

Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city.  But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie.

“loves and practices a lie” this is what can happen to any of us who allow sin to take a place in our heart, as we embrace it we love it and become bound to it and this lie becomes consuming.

1 Corinthians 6:9

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived.  Neither fornicators, no idolaters, nor adulterers, not homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

That is quite a specific list!  God isn’t beating around the bush, He is telling us that He does not tolerate lifestyle sin.  We do not get to live as we want as followers of Christ.  God requires repentance and repentance is a turning away from.  If you are repentant for your sin you will not continue sinning.  Christians who claim salvation but continue to choose to live in lifestyle sin need to question on what they are basing their salvation. 

Matthew 7:21-23
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!'

To be saved is to be changed.  Of course we all sin, and when that happens we need to bring it before God, but lifestyle sin is different.  Lifestyle sin affects your daily life and interferes with your walk.  A house divided against itself cannot stand.  As a Christian it is one thing to mess up, sin, come to God repentant and learn from your mistake, but it is quite another thing to choose to live daily in sin and not see a need for change.  If you are comfortable living in sin then you are not changed and that is concerning for the state of your relationship with God.  “Do not be deceived.” That is a pretty clear warning!  You may be convinced that you are OK, that your lifestyle sin is not a problem, but God is not a liar, and He has been very clear here about what He considers to be sin.

Galatians 5:16-21

I say then:  Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissections, heresies, envy, murder, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

I readily admit that not so long ago I struggled with my fair share of lifestyle sins on this list.  It broke my heart every time He showed me another area that needed to be changed. As God revealed them to me I was able to release them to Him as I came before Him repentant and ready to change.  Now I have been brought into the light on the destruction of sin and it is my job to continually be seeking God to help me change.  Its not easy and I, like most of us, stumble my fair share, but I will never give up seeking to be changed! “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” To walk in the Spirit is to have an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit, to give Him a full time place in your heart.  When you do this it is impossible to not be changed!  The Holy Spirit will convict and guide you through the changes that need to take place.  If you are a Christian who is living in sin and not feeling convicted then you are NOT walking in the Spirit and you need to get face to face with God and be willing to hear what He has to say!  Here God is also reminding us that He is unchanging and that His ways are steadfast “”of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past.”  God does not change nor do His requirements for His people to turn from sin.

Ephesians 5:5-7

For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.  Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.  Therefore do not be partakers with them.

The warning to not be deceived is continually repeated and so we should be sure that the enemy is going to try to deceive us into accepting lifestyle sin, but God remains clear, there are no exceptions!  As Christians our eyes have been opened and now the truth has been revealed to us, with that revelation comes the responsibility put on us if we will choose to follow or not!

Ephesians 5:8

For you were once in darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.

As Christians it is our job to speak the unpopular truths, because lives are at stake.  If a Christian is leading people to believe that they can continue to live in sin as followers of Christ they are leading those people astray and that is dangerous!  God is so serious about sin, especially sexual sin that he tells us it is better that we cut off the part causing us to sin then to fall into death because of it!

Matthew 5:27-30

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast in hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

Sin starts in our mind and God is telling us to be cautious even to the point of guarding our thoughts!  Many want to argue that their desires are “who they are” that these matters of the heart or desire are part of their identity, but if you are a Christian your identity is in Christ alone.  You are a new man/woman, you are not ruled by your flesh, you need to cut off these things that pull you out of the truth and away from God. We all do!

We see in Romans 1 that there comes a time when God gives man over to his sin, we have seen that in our current time.  Christians need to open their eyes and return to the truth. Love is being willing to speak the truth even when it isn't easy, not sitting back and watching while our friends head down dangerous paths.

Romans 1:18-31

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.

"Inventors of evil." I can think of no greater evil of our creation then abortion that destroys not only the unborn, but the entire family unit.

All of us struggle against our flesh.  For some it is sexuality, for others it is anger, pride, jealousy, greed, gossiping, etc, and for all of us it is a matter of the state of our heart.  We need to be willing to be changed.  If we have chosen to serve God we have chosen to surrender.  We are no longer our own, we don’t get to live as we please.  To be honest this is hard for me to address, its hard to speak truth that people don’t want to hear, but I don’t get to ignore it when the Holy Spirit prompts my heart, I have to do what I feel led to do.  I also love my brothers and sisters in Christ enough to not remain silent while some are being led like sheep to slaughter.  For my young adult years I walked the path of the flesh while hiding behind the assurance of salvation but God never stopped prompting me to change and one day He set me on a crossroad and left me no choice.  I had to choose him or continue my destructive path away from His protection.  God won’t give up on us, but if we choose to live our lives outside of His will He cannot force us to return to Him.  The best choice I ever made was to stop living the way I was, consumed by fear, pride, anger, jealousy, drowning my hurts and hangups with alcohol and cigarettes, and letting my flesh control my heart and behavior.  That life was leading me to death, but God called me back and set me on the path to healing, to hope, to righteousness!  I can't believe how much God has changed me over the last 8 years, and I am excited to see what He will continue to do in my life of surrender. That is all I ever want for anyone, to find the amazing assurance of true intimacy with our Lord and Savior, the place where your life is forever changed!

The Storms and His Provision

I'm going to go ahead and have a brutally honest moment...

Not every day in paradise is paradise, in spite of what some may think.  When we chose to move to Fiji, and I emphasize "chose" because I am not looking for pity, we knew there would be struggles that the average American is not used to facing.  We survived 4 years in India so I would say we were most definitely prepared in some ways, but there were things we did not consider, like limited medical.  Fiji is a cake walk compared to India and I love Fiji, but for the sake of the people they need to improve their medical.  We felt called to Fiji and God planted our willing hearts in Fiji, because of that I know that God will always provide.  Again, not looking for pity, just pouring out a weary mommas heart.

Right now a storm is raging outside my window with nasty weather headed our way, and there is one brewing in my heart.  These last 2.5 years have been incredible, and I have never felt more at home in my adult life then I do in Fiji.  I am so blessed for the calling and the provision God has given, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I accept that there will by cyclones, sickness, and inconveniences, I just ask that God go easy on us and not give us all at once.

Last year Ella Mae developed a stomach ache in between cyclone Winston and cyclone Xena.  After many doctor visits it was eventually treated with antibiotics and seemed to go away.  Over the last year it has reared its ugly head at random times and there is no rhyme or reason to the flares, but they are brutal for Ella Mae.  These pains double her over and leave her in tears.  We go to the doctor to be told that there is nothing wrong, even had one doctor look my child in the eye and tell her that "Fijian kids don't have these problems because their mommies don't encourage it and they tell them to go play" I KID YOU NOT!  Whether these stomach problems are anxiety induced or physically induced the pain is real, and I am powerless to help.  My heart breaks at my 6 year old curled up in the fetal position asking me to fix it and me having no way to help.  I dread these tummy aches like nothing else!

Today after 3 days of the usual we decided to try the doctor again.  The same answers came, she didn't have a urinary tract infection (YAY, not that I thought she did) but there was no answer for the stomach pain.  I sat there refusing to leave, there had to be an answer!  The doctor said that we could do a scan to be sure nothing was missed but the next best thing was to eliminate gluten and lactose (one at a time) and see if that made any difference.  The scan was not possible today because the power was out at the clinic due to the Tropical Depression preparing to hammer Fiji this weekend. My heart hurts, both gluten or lactose intolerances would be extremely life altering and hard to maintain in this country.  We can't just pop over to walmart and buy alternative foods.  Praise God there was just a recent shipment of all things gluten free so I stocked up and we will try this first. Celiac does fit many of her symptoms, but I am praying that is not what this is, oh please God-not that!  It will be so hard to manage here!

There are so many other things going on that I won't even bore you with the details, but long story short this momma is tapped!  I'm on empty, I've got no fight left!  That's a good thing, because when I'm out God has an abundance!

Psalms 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and mountains quake with their surging.

Last month we stood boldly in San Francisco for LIFE and the enemy struck back hard.  This month we are looking to major things ahead in ministry, a 24 hour prayer vigil relay in Fiji, the A-Cross America Relay in the US, and a Fiji chapter mission trip to Vanuatu.  Of course the enemy is attacking, he hates everything we are doing!  I'm not shocked by these struggles, as much as I don't enjoy them, I do expect them to some degree.  I know that God will fight for me and that the battle has already been won.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

I may take a minute and scream in my pillow, I might even shed a few tears, but I won't stay there long because I trust in the LORD and He will not fail me!  I know that God can heal Ella Mae and I also know that if He does not that He will provide for us to get through the struggle.  I know that God sees our needs and that even if we have to struggle He will not leave us out in the wilderness.  My faith is not faltering, I will not be defeated!

When you choose to serve the LORD, when you surrender to His will there are a few things you can be sure of;
First, you will face trials.  You will have to choose to continue to trust in the LORD regardless of what your circumstances look like.  Your faith will be deepened as you trust and He provides!
Second, God will not fail you.  Whatever course He has set you on, if you respond in obedience, He will walk with you through it all and will provide everything you need.
Third, as these things pass you by you will begin to see Gods hand in everything and it will renew your strength!  You will not be destroyed!

By far my favorite meme
"So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.  You're doing great."

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

The rain is slowing down outside right now, and I know that another storm is coming but I will not fear!  God is more than able to get us through and I trust Him 100%!  We would not have moved to the other side of the world, from the comforts of America if we didn't trust God completely with every aspect of our lives.  Serving God where He has called us to serve is worth it no matter what! I accept these struggles because I know that this is the path that God called us to and this path will change lives.  If for no other reason these struggles have opened my eyes to a true need in Fiji and I will commit the medical needs to prayer! I also know that this storm will pass, the sun will shine, and then we will again be in paradise, because one of the great rewards of living in Fiji is that it truly is paradise....

Loving Women

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ~John 1:5

I want to understand the world, to understand those who see things differently than me, to be able to listen without having to respond, to let someone share their heart without having to defend, to sit unshaken and securely in the truth while the world spews lies and hate, I just haven't figured out how to do that yet.  I went to San Francisco for the West Coast Walk for Life, in the hopes that my path could cross with hurting women who needed healing, to share the truth where lies are sold as candy, to stand firmly as a voice for the voiceless.  I had no idea what I was about to face, even though this was not my first time walking these streets for this event.  What I did discover is that the devil has turned San Francisco into his playground and that women are hurt and angry and most of them have no idea why.

Everyone has an opinion, and no one is interested in hearing what anyone else has to say.  There is no chance that anyone could ever convince me that abortion is OK, not for any reason.  I know that murder is wrong, I know that the unborn is fully human and therefore taking his/her life is murder.  I know that women who experience abortion deal with pain and harm to their bodies and their emotions.  I know that killing someone will never right a wrong that has been done to you.  I know that no matter your circumstances they cant be fixed by ending an innocent life.  I know that abortion hurts women and that women have been lied to.  I discovered as I read vulgar signs that proclaim women desire not to be defined by their lady parts at the same time demanding that their lady parts define them, show the utter confusion we as women have fallen into.

Women are by nature the softer sex.  We are emotional, we are passionate, we are nurtures and we are our very own worst enemy.  Modern day feminism is a destroyer of women.  We are so busy trying to prove that we can do everything a man can do, that we have forgotten who we are.  Abortion is the true war on women.  It tells women that they are not strong enough, not brave enough, not capable enough to get through anything they face.  Abortion is a denial of our very womanhood.  Women are created able to do something men cannot do, carry life.  So now women are telling other women that to get ahead we need to destroy the one part of ourselves that is different from men, but our ability to be mothers in a strength not a weakness!

There is no such thing as casual sex, sex is by its very nature a mind, body, and soul melding of two people and it has one and only one biological design, to create life!  If you are having sex you are choosing to engage in an activity designed to cause pregnancy, period!  Women, you are better than the one night stand that leaves you feeling broken the next morning.  I know the hardship of this lie, I chose this broken path for a short period of my younger years and with each one night stand I felt more alone.  I say that out loud because I think it is important to know that my heart is authentic, I have been down the road that these feminists claim brings empowerment, but it only brings bondage! That lifestyle is nothing more than a lie and it will spit you out and leave you on the roadside, often times pregnant and scared.

What I think shook me to the core at the West Coast Walk for Life was not the fact that hundreds of thousands of women came to march for the Women's March with their vulgar signs, dressed as vagina's, and shouting for abortion on demand, but the fact that these women have drawn a line in the sand.  I am the enemy because I do not believe that killing our babies makes us stronger as women.  I am the enemy because I do not feel like a victim.  I am the enemy because I serve a loving and forgiving God who dictates the way I should live.  What I saw on the streets was mother against daughter, sister against sister, friend against friend.  Women have a real ability to join up and readily reject and attack anyone who threatens them and our group of 50,000 peaceful and prayerful pro-life advocates were most definitely a threat to them.  My heart broke.  It was like being rejected back in school all over again.  I was rejected on principle.  No one had any interest to sit and talk, to bring about discussion so that we could understand one another and find solutions.  The line was drawn and if you stood on the wrong side of it you were officially kicked out of the woman's club.  As a pro-life advocate I am completely for women, all women, and I fight for them even if they don't understand it!

I looked at little girls dressed up in pink hats with signs saying "hands off my pussy" and my heart hurt for them, that one day they might realize that they are lucky to be alive, that their mother who is championing beside them for abortion on demand without apology, could have decided that their lives did not fit her agenda.  I am first born after my mothers abortion, my sibling didn't make it but I am very grateful that I did.  I don't say these things to be harsh but the reality is that 1 in every 4 mother has had an abortion so most of us are very lucky to be alive and even more so are the children of women who believe abortion is a right that they protect with out apology.

I had the privilege of spending my weekend with teammates from whom, I draw so much comfort and strength but especially with the two teenagers.  These young girls give me hope.  Their hearts were still so very sensitive to the injustices around.  I watched them hurt, I watched them fear, I watched them celebrate.  These young ladies faced a side of women they had never seen before and they stood before an evil they had never experienced.  They were true warriors as they were visually assaulted with offensives signs and slogans and screams from angry protesters.  I loved being with them, praying over them, walking beside them.  I love them and I know that they will carry the torch long after my life has ended, and their generation will be followed by my daughters generation.

The biggest problem that is becoming so apparent is that the lies have preceded the truth for so long that it is an uphill battle to get the truth in front of the lies.  "Its my body, its my choice" "Its nothing more than a procedure, like getting your nails done" "just take a pill and it will all be over."  Trying to reduce abortion to a spa day is a lie.  There is nothing casual about ending a life.  It should never be casual to kill another person.  This is a serious matter because we are not talking about "your" body, we are talking about the person you are carrying.  There are emotional ramifications that come from ending a life.  There are physical ramifications that come from having a baby torn from your body.  This is not casual, this is not moral, abortion is not to be taken lightly.

I have racked my brain and have never found an ethical, logical, and factual response to the statement;
"I support the killing of over 125,000 innocent unborn babies worldwide each day because......"

The truth is that there is not an ethical, logical, and factual excuse to kill an unborn baby.  There are only emotional responses, and emotions are not an acceptable reason to end a life.  Emotions are what drive crimes of passion and murder, emotions are what fuel fear and hate, emotions are not logical, they do not retain moral boundaries, emotions are subjective and lives should never be taken under these conditions.

If I discovered anything on this trip to San Francisco is that the only way to end abortion, the only way to make abortion unthinkable is to pray, pray, pray!  This is a spiritual war, the enemy loves abortion.  There is no question in my mind that abortion is the devils very favorite lie.  You see if the devil can convince a society that not only is abortion acceptable but that it is a right then the devil will own that society.

My amazing friend text me something that really helped me as I poured my broken heart out to her, she said "You cant help someone who doesn't want it.  You can be there, but there is an innate openness needed for that, even if it's just a crack."

She is right, there are going to be times where hearts are simply closed to what I am trying to bring to the table, and in that case I must continue on to the next person that God wants me to reach.  I will not let the bumps in the road throw me off track.  There are many places where women are desperately seeking help and healing and those are the places I will go.  In countries like Fiji women are being forced to abort by friends and family because no one is talking about abortion and they don't know where to turn.  We have become a beacon of hope for those women and they are reaching out to us increasingly.  I will trust the Lord to lead me to those in need so that I can continue to serve women who are ready to be served and I will pray for hearts to be opened in my home country so that I can make a difference in even one life next year when I return to the streets of San Francisco to march again for all women, for all life, for love, for hope, for healing, and for truth.

Growing Faith

God is always refining me, He is always stretching my faith. Sometimes I make it through a trial without losing my cool and other times I fall very far short. This last trial was extremely stressful for me, and I lost my cool in major ways a few times, but the moment I truly surrendered my heart He answered me immediately! I actually felt a touch of relief as I realized that I was finally letting go! 

God you are so amazing and I give you all of the glory!

We have been going through the visa process and it was down to the wire and I was writing in my prayer journal:

1)Why do I want to be in Fiji? Because I love the ministry that God has put before me.

2)If God brought us here for His purpose can anyone other than me in my own free will 

change his plan? No

3)So the only way we leave is if God has somewhere else for us to be? yes

4)Would you you go if God called you elsewhere? yes

SO WHY WORRY!

1 Peter 3:12-13

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

This was my quiet time today and as I let it all sink in I prayed "I know the visas are going to come, I just hate the waiting." This time when I prayed my heart was different, I truly believed it, I knew it was going to happen, I knew I just had to let it go and the very moment this prayer was sent, I mean the very second it happened I got a text from Ryan telling me the Visas were here. God is so amazingly faithful! I wish that I had held on in faith from start to finish but I am happy that He gave me a few days to try again and that I was able to finally surrender and find His peace before the approval came through!

There are many people of great faith, I want to be one of those people! Today I was reading about the centurion who had amazing faith and because of it his servant was healed. (Luke 7:4-10) My biggest struggle is truly taking hold in faith and not letting my emotions win the battle. I am impossible to be around when I worry and I know that I am not supposed to worry so then I get mad at myself for worrying and then I spiral into a mess. God keeps giving me these trials and I think little by little I am learning to hang on just a little bit longer. I want my faith to grow and faith can't grow unless it is tested!

This week on top of the waiting for visas there has been so much going on. Ryan has been gone basically since Christmas, Star got sick and needed medicine, I got a flat tire, Ella Mae is at the end of her summer break and we are butting heads, I am having to run in the heat of the day, I got bit by a dog, got a tetanus shot (ouch), chased by a dog, my dog got in a fight, and so on and so on. I've been heavily immersed in life, because you know what this is life! Every single one of us faces life each day. I want to find my peace again, and that peace cannot be found in the struggle of life but in the quiet time with God. I will continue to seek Him, draw near to Him, trust Him and be thankful for the continuous grace that He showers me with. This week, it has not been pretty, but my husband extended me grace far beyond what I deserved, it was so beautiful. My friends have been sending me uplifting and encouraging words not even knowing how much I was hurting and struggling.  

You see, that is the God I serve. He sends people to you when you need it, He hears you and He responds. This week God seemed silent to me, but looking back I realize that He came down and literally touched me in my physical life by sending people to me when I most needed them. To serve a God so loving, compassionate, and kind is without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life. I don't want to live one second outside of His grace and mercy, and you know what, the truth is that its not living if you are trying to get by without God.

To top it all off God showered us today with some very unexpected blessings and He has provided in more ways then I can count. He didn't just get us through, He went above that and I am so in awe of His loving kindness! To God be the glory, honor and praise!

I pray that next time my faith is stretched to the finish!

Tsunami of life

On January 4th in the morning a 7.2 earthquake hit near the Fiji Islands, it was an offshore quake and was about 227 kilometers SW of Nadi and about 10 kilometers deep.  This in turn caused a tsunami warning for Fiji, a warning that most of us knew nothing about...

On this Wednesday morning I had decided to take some quiet time on the beach.  In addition to my Bible study time each day I want to spend more time withdrawing into "lonely" places to have quiet time with the Lord.  I decided last minute to take my quiet time at Wailoaloa beach.  There were many families on the beach, so I walked down pretty far so that I could hear only the gentle crash of the waves and the sounds of the wind in the palm trees.  I sat down, took my shoes off, closed my eyes and started to pray.  My heart has been unsettled since I returned to Fiji, there is just so much going on and I haven't taken the time I needed to really sit quietly before the Lord, so I was relieved to be there, alone with Him.  He spoke to my heart and I felt the weight lifted of some burdens I had been carrying.  It was a truly good time silent before the Lord.  As my quiet time ended I began getting texts from my family in the US checking to be sure I was OK, asking if I knew there was an earthquake and a tsunami warning.  I was a bit shocked, I had felt nothing but I assumed it was an offshore earthquake and I heard no sirens or any warnings of a tsunami.  There were quite a few people gathered at the beach all none the wiser.  I looked for information and found that most of the alerts for the 11:45 wave were issued no earlier than 11:58 which would have been far to late had a wave arrived.

I returned to my car and went home, honestly thinking very little of it.  But as time pressed on my eyes were opened to what was kept from our shores.  God spoke to my heart about how we don't know what is just beyond our vision, we don't know what is just around the corner, we don't know when our last breath will be.  The picture above is one I took of the calm ocean I sat before as my family text me.  As I look at it, it reminds me that we don't have the big picture, we can't see beyond the horizon, but God can!

My friend Fi told me that God showed her an Angel holding back the wave, that we were protected and spared to awaken us to the moment, so that we would see that the hour is near and just like this wave that we were not expecting, God will bring us home in the blink of an eye.  We cannot be sleeping, we need to be vigilant and ready!  We need to be a strong voice of truth in the dying world.

The more God talks to me about the tsunami the more I see also how much of a provider He is!  How many "tsunamis" does He hold back from us without us ever knowing?  When I'm frustrated because I'm late but just cant seem to get out the door is it possible that He is protecting me from an accident? The unanswered prayer that you desperately desire but seems to be rejected, is it possible He has something better planned for you?  Time and time again as a Christian I am reminded that I truly must be willing to fall into His arms and trust Him, that He knows the wave headed my way and He will bring me through it.  When we get hit with a "tsunami" in life, it may feel like we are being forgotten and forsaken but we can be sure that is not the case.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Is life always going to be easy, OF COURSE NOT!  Are bad things going to happen, yes, that is part of life.  But we can be sure that God will never leave us through it all.  Everything may not happen for a reason, but nothing happens that God does not know about.  He will provide for you during the struggle if you just trust in Him.  There are so many "tsunamis" in life, they sneak up on us and take us out like a freight train.  They have very little warning and the devastation can seem catastrophic, the death of a loved one, a job loss, an illness.  These things can bring us to our knees, but God is there with us, He truly cares for us and wants to walk with us as we recover.

I saw the best quote yesterday from Toby Mac's Speak Life page;
"So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.  You're doing great."

Thank you God for holding back the tsunami, for protecting our lives here in Fiji, and for opening our eyes to bigger things.  Help us to rise in truth and to remember that we do not know the hour at which you will return.  We must be living every second for You and the purpose You have put on our lives, to reach out to the lost and broken.  

Connected

My family took a much needed mini vacation to our favorite spot in Fiji, Treasure Island.  We needed this time where Ryan and I didn't have to think about work or ministry but just spend some time on our family.  God knew we needed this time.  A potential cyclone had moved in a few days prior and we considered canceling but in the end we knew we needed to go so we did and it was perfection.

I love to take pictures, love it!  I see something beautiful and I want to capture it.  I spend a lot of my time taking pictures of the world around me because I just want to share what my eyes are seeing.  I didn't realize the impact of the message God would reveal to me in this.  I was sitting on the edge of the pool watching the ocean below.  There were fish hiding up in the rocks clearly trying to avoid a predator on the prowl and then I saw him!  This was our second sighting of the beautiful tiny black tip reef shark!  The first time he swam right up to us on the shore as we were getting ready to snorkel, so close we could have touched him.  I watched him cruise slowly on the outer edge of the rocks and instead of being still in that moment and enjoying it I called to Ryan to bring me my phone so I could snap a picture.  By the time I got my phone the shark was gone and I had missed it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to capture a moment, there is nothing wrong with wanting to share the beauty, but how often are we so busy trying to capture something that we miss the experience of it!  I realized that for two days I captured many moments, moments that I missed the experience of, moments that were there for me to enjoy but passed me by.  I put down the phone and I gazed out at the ocean realizing that far to often our faith walk can fall into this trap.

It's simply not enough to read the word, we need to experience the word.  It's not enough to just know of God, to have a picture of who He is and what He has done, but miss the intimacy with Him.  It's not enough to have religion, we must have relationship!  So many Christians walk around with an emptiness, it comes from not being engaged with God.  It's wonderful to read your Bible every day (you absolutely should), but it needs to go a step further, you need to consume the very word of God!

For example;
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I can read this verse and think, "so I'm not supposed to worry about anything and I'm supposed to pray about everything and God will give me peace, sounds great but...."

Just reading these words won't change my view, but when I engage these words, when I put them to the test, when I ask God to give me understanding and to help me through this discipline I get to experience Him!  What I come to realize when I dig into this verse is that peace is something unattainable outside of a relationship with God.  Peace is impossible for those who do not know God.  Peace is a gift and it comes with instructions!  When I start to engage the word it changes my life!  A snapshot of the verse is nice, but the experience of the verse is life changing!

We are told to abide in Him and He will abide in us, without this very personal and relational connection we can not live effective lives.  It's not enough to check in from time to time, say your set prayer when you wake up, or before you go to bed and before meals.  These things are important, but to truly experience God we have got to stop taking snap shots and engage Him!  Abide is an action, we are called to be in the action!  It's interesting, no matter what filter or program you use, a picture can hardly compare to the beauty of what your eyes see.  It's where art comes from, where poetry is born, God's creation.  We see something so beyond our imagination that we want to capture it and share it, but when we do capture it somehow it doesn't compare to the real deal.  The experience, that is where the magic lives!

Pictures are great, they take us back to memories that we want to keep in our hearts.  There is nothing wrong with taking pictures, unless your focus is so caught up in taking the pictures that you miss the encounter.  I have noticed at certain times in my life my quiet time has gotten robotic and that it doesn't fill me the way it does when I am fully engaged.  I think as humans we sometimes struggle with that, each in our own way!  Time with God is not a box to check, its not an obligation to be carried out, but it is a relationship to be cherished and savored.  God loves it when we open the Word, but He loves it even more when we take time to talk to Him about the Word.  God loves it when we pray, but He loves it even more when we spend our day in conversation with Him.  Your eyes don't always have to be closed, God is walking with you and He loves to talk to us, conversations with Him are not exclusive to a quiet moment alone.

LORD, help me to experience You daily, to truly live each moment with You.  Put me in a position to encounter You on a deeper level each day.  You are offering me experiences, help me not to be satisfied with snap shots!  I'm sorry Lord when I detach and try to navigate on my own.  Teach me to engage life, to live it, to experience it all with You for Your purpose and Your plan.  I want to always abide in You so that You abide in me, I do not want to be a branch cut off by the business and distractions of the world.  You promise that if I draw near to You that You draw near to me, thank You for never leaving my side, for always speaking clearly to my heart and for keeping me pointed at the cross. Apart from you Lord I can not serve effectively for Your Kingdom, I want to bear much fruit for you in my life. Amen

Just One More Lord!

"Lord, please help me get one more." ~Desmond Doss

As I watched "Hacksaw Ridge" with tears streaming down my face, Desmond Doss' plea to God touched me on a monumentally deep level.  I realized in that moment that this should be and is now my daily prayer!

My "battleground" may not be a literal war with guns and bombs, but it is a war that brings death daily to thousands and leaves behind even more broken  and wounded survivors.  The difference between having an opinion and and having a calling is the deep seated conviction that drives you!  My battle to save the unborn and women from abortion is not just something I have an opinion on, it is a passionate, faith driven desire to speak truth into darkness!  Not only to protect, but to show those who have been wounded that there is a Savior who passionately loves and cares for them.

I have felt, lately, a brand new urgency to reach those who are broken with Jesus message of hope and to empower those who will listen so that they can be protected from the devastation of abortion before it ever happens.  Jesus is the answer to everything! I don't know how many days my life will have, but my prayer will be, "Lord, please help me get one more!"

"Lord, let me reach one more woman in crisis pregnancy who needs to know you.  Lord, let me help one more mother choose life.  Lord, let me help lead one more abortion scarred woman to your redemptive healing.  Lord, let me speak life to one more young woman being pushed to abort.  Lord, let me reach one more lost person with your message of salvation.  Through every struggle, through every hardship, Lord, please help me to get one more!"

I can't give up, because this isn't about me, this is about those headed to slaughter.  I won't give up because I have seen the faces of those who chose death and the way it broke them.  I won't quit because I have held sobbing women in my arms who felt hopeless.  I will never stop pressing forward, because I have seen the eyes of the unborn babies who were saved and they way their parents were protected from the harm that would have come had they chosen to end their babies life.  Until abortion is unthinkable and every life has value from conception until death I won't give up, I won't back down, and I will never stop fighting!  This is why God called me out of my broken life into the light and this is what I will spend the rest of my days doing, serving God, women, the unborn and families!