Growing Faith

God is always refining me, He is always stretching my faith. Sometimes I make it through a trial without losing my cool and other times I fall very far short. This last trial was extremely stressful for me, and I lost my cool in major ways a few times, but the moment I truly surrendered my heart He answered me immediately! I actually felt a touch of relief as I realized that I was finally letting go! 

God you are so amazing and I give you all of the glory!

We have been going through the visa process and it was down to the wire and I was writing in my prayer journal:

1)Why do I want to be in Fiji? Because I love the ministry that God has put before me.

2)If God brought us here for His purpose can anyone other than me in my own free will 

change his plan? No

3)So the only way we leave is if God has somewhere else for us to be? yes

4)Would you you go if God called you elsewhere? yes

SO WHY WORRY!

1 Peter 3:12-13

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

This was my quiet time today and as I let it all sink in I prayed "I know the visas are going to come, I just hate the waiting." This time when I prayed my heart was different, I truly believed it, I knew it was going to happen, I knew I just had to let it go and the very moment this prayer was sent, I mean the very second it happened I got a text from Ryan telling me the Visas were here. God is so amazingly faithful! I wish that I had held on in faith from start to finish but I am happy that He gave me a few days to try again and that I was able to finally surrender and find His peace before the approval came through!

There are many people of great faith, I want to be one of those people! Today I was reading about the centurion who had amazing faith and because of it his servant was healed. (Luke 7:4-10) My biggest struggle is truly taking hold in faith and not letting my emotions win the battle. I am impossible to be around when I worry and I know that I am not supposed to worry so then I get mad at myself for worrying and then I spiral into a mess. God keeps giving me these trials and I think little by little I am learning to hang on just a little bit longer. I want my faith to grow and faith can't grow unless it is tested!

This week on top of the waiting for visas there has been so much going on. Ryan has been gone basically since Christmas, Star got sick and needed medicine, I got a flat tire, Ella Mae is at the end of her summer break and we are butting heads, I am having to run in the heat of the day, I got bit by a dog, got a tetanus shot (ouch), chased by a dog, my dog got in a fight, and so on and so on. I've been heavily immersed in life, because you know what this is life! Every single one of us faces life each day. I want to find my peace again, and that peace cannot be found in the struggle of life but in the quiet time with God. I will continue to seek Him, draw near to Him, trust Him and be thankful for the continuous grace that He showers me with. This week, it has not been pretty, but my husband extended me grace far beyond what I deserved, it was so beautiful. My friends have been sending me uplifting and encouraging words not even knowing how much I was hurting and struggling.  

You see, that is the God I serve. He sends people to you when you need it, He hears you and He responds. This week God seemed silent to me, but looking back I realize that He came down and literally touched me in my physical life by sending people to me when I most needed them. To serve a God so loving, compassionate, and kind is without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life. I don't want to live one second outside of His grace and mercy, and you know what, the truth is that its not living if you are trying to get by without God.

To top it all off God showered us today with some very unexpected blessings and He has provided in more ways then I can count. He didn't just get us through, He went above that and I am so in awe of His loving kindness! To God be the glory, honor and praise!

I pray that next time my faith is stretched to the finish!