The Storms and His Provision

I'm going to go ahead and have a brutally honest moment...

Not every day in paradise is paradise, in spite of what some may think.  When we chose to move to Fiji, and I emphasize "chose" because I am not looking for pity, we knew there would be struggles that the average American is not used to facing.  We survived 4 years in India so I would say we were most definitely prepared in some ways, but there were things we did not consider, like limited medical.  Fiji is a cake walk compared to India and I love Fiji, but for the sake of the people they need to improve their medical.  We felt called to Fiji and God planted our willing hearts in Fiji, because of that I know that God will always provide.  Again, not looking for pity, just pouring out a weary mommas heart.

Right now a storm is raging outside my window with nasty weather headed our way, and there is one brewing in my heart.  These last 2.5 years have been incredible, and I have never felt more at home in my adult life then I do in Fiji.  I am so blessed for the calling and the provision God has given, and I wouldn't change a thing.  I accept that there will by cyclones, sickness, and inconveniences, I just ask that God go easy on us and not give us all at once.

Last year Ella Mae developed a stomach ache in between cyclone Winston and cyclone Xena.  After many doctor visits it was eventually treated with antibiotics and seemed to go away.  Over the last year it has reared its ugly head at random times and there is no rhyme or reason to the flares, but they are brutal for Ella Mae.  These pains double her over and leave her in tears.  We go to the doctor to be told that there is nothing wrong, even had one doctor look my child in the eye and tell her that "Fijian kids don't have these problems because their mommies don't encourage it and they tell them to go play" I KID YOU NOT!  Whether these stomach problems are anxiety induced or physically induced the pain is real, and I am powerless to help.  My heart breaks at my 6 year old curled up in the fetal position asking me to fix it and me having no way to help.  I dread these tummy aches like nothing else!

Today after 3 days of the usual we decided to try the doctor again.  The same answers came, she didn't have a urinary tract infection (YAY, not that I thought she did) but there was no answer for the stomach pain.  I sat there refusing to leave, there had to be an answer!  The doctor said that we could do a scan to be sure nothing was missed but the next best thing was to eliminate gluten and lactose (one at a time) and see if that made any difference.  The scan was not possible today because the power was out at the clinic due to the Tropical Depression preparing to hammer Fiji this weekend. My heart hurts, both gluten or lactose intolerances would be extremely life altering and hard to maintain in this country.  We can't just pop over to walmart and buy alternative foods.  Praise God there was just a recent shipment of all things gluten free so I stocked up and we will try this first. Celiac does fit many of her symptoms, but I am praying that is not what this is, oh please God-not that!  It will be so hard to manage here!

There are so many other things going on that I won't even bore you with the details, but long story short this momma is tapped!  I'm on empty, I've got no fight left!  That's a good thing, because when I'm out God has an abundance!

Psalms 46:1-3
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and mountains quake with their surging.

Last month we stood boldly in San Francisco for LIFE and the enemy struck back hard.  This month we are looking to major things ahead in ministry, a 24 hour prayer vigil relay in Fiji, the A-Cross America Relay in the US, and a Fiji chapter mission trip to Vanuatu.  Of course the enemy is attacking, he hates everything we are doing!  I'm not shocked by these struggles, as much as I don't enjoy them, I do expect them to some degree.  I know that God will fight for me and that the battle has already been won.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!  I have overcome the world.

I may take a minute and scream in my pillow, I might even shed a few tears, but I won't stay there long because I trust in the LORD and He will not fail me!  I know that God can heal Ella Mae and I also know that if He does not that He will provide for us to get through the struggle.  I know that God sees our needs and that even if we have to struggle He will not leave us out in the wilderness.  My faith is not faltering, I will not be defeated!

When you choose to serve the LORD, when you surrender to His will there are a few things you can be sure of;
First, you will face trials.  You will have to choose to continue to trust in the LORD regardless of what your circumstances look like.  Your faith will be deepened as you trust and He provides!
Second, God will not fail you.  Whatever course He has set you on, if you respond in obedience, He will walk with you through it all and will provide everything you need.
Third, as these things pass you by you will begin to see Gods hand in everything and it will renew your strength!  You will not be destroyed!

By far my favorite meme
"So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.  You're doing great."

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

The rain is slowing down outside right now, and I know that another storm is coming but I will not fear!  God is more than able to get us through and I trust Him 100%!  We would not have moved to the other side of the world, from the comforts of America if we didn't trust God completely with every aspect of our lives.  Serving God where He has called us to serve is worth it no matter what! I accept these struggles because I know that this is the path that God called us to and this path will change lives.  If for no other reason these struggles have opened my eyes to a true need in Fiji and I will commit the medical needs to prayer! I also know that this storm will pass, the sun will shine, and then we will again be in paradise, because one of the great rewards of living in Fiji is that it truly is paradise....