I find it interesting the things in this world we can worship, I never thought for a minute that fitness could be the thing that I would put before God. Like most women, weight is a struggle for me. Even now as I sit in a very healthy and fit weight class I am not satisfied, but let me go back to the beginning.
My journey with fitness began 3 years ago. After I gave birth to Ella Mae I weighed about 180 lbs. I am 5'9" so for me that is not excessively big, none the less I was overweight and truly bothered by it. I decided that it was time to change my life and so I did. I began cooking healthy, counting calories and exercising 3-4 times a week. The 3-4 times a week quickly turned to 6-7 days a week as I shed 20 lbs with ease. I was excited to see the results and was proud of myself for coming down from a size 16 jeans to a size 10. When we moved home I backslid a bit but in the first year back I made it down to 145 and finally fit a size 6, I was hooked.
Then the plateau hit, followed by some backsliding and I stabilized out between 150-145, but I wanted to be 140 desperately, and so my fitness addiction grew and I was now working out 6 days a week minimum for about 2 hours a day sometimes 2 times a day. No matter what I did I could not get the scale to budge which only darkened my mood, I had come so far, lost over 30 lbs and here I couldn't lose the last 5! I was running half marathons and riding my bike between 25-40 miles 3 times a week, I was strong, I was healthy but I could not meet the number.
It was shortly after my first marathon that I realized that my motivation had become obsession which then became my "worship." My fitness and weight loss goal was far more important to me than most anything, but certainly more important than my desire for God. It was a brutal wake up call for me, I was worshiping fitness and I would never find satisfaction no matter what goal I met, because my eyes were fixed on something temporal, not something eternal. God brought me back to reality in the best way ever, he introduced me to redemptive running through an amazing ministry, LIFE Runners.
I realized in the moment that I joined LIFE Runners that God wanted me to use my ability to run and ride for him, He wanted my attention and I knew then and there it was time for me to submit and so I did. I surrendered my fitness to Him. Amazing things have happened as I serve Him in this ministry and only a few months ago I was asked to lead our local chapter. I will say that I now weigh between 150-155 and God has put me here for a reason. Although I no longer run or ride for myself, but for Gods glory I was still hanging on to an arbitrary weight goal, keeping my worldly attachment to God's calling for me. It can consume me and has the power to destroy me. When the scale doesn't cooperate I lose my way and then end up giving in to my bingeful urges. I let food control me, I let my weight determine my daily self esteem.
Only just recently have I realized how much I need to give this to God, that I need to let go of the worldly view I am putting on myself because it is toxic in my life. My body is His temple and so it is important that I care for it, and I do. I am healthy, I am fit, and I can do all things through Him. When I worship a jean size so much that it dictates my life, when the number on the scale is so important that I can't function and eat myself into oblivion then there is a problem, it is my idolatry.
So here I sit, saying God I give it all back to you again. I will no longer let the scale dictate my life, in fact the scale is going to have to be put away. He called me to serve Him through the amazing ministry of being a LIFE Runner and I let the enemy side track me. Well I can see clearly now. Tomorrow I will again train my body, because I have a duty to fulfill as a LIFE Runner, but I will not do it with the hope that I will lose weight. I will train my body so that I can run for His purpose. I will train so that every footstep brings Him glory. I will train because I run as a prayer to raise awareness for the Unborn. I run to raise money for my local Crisis Pregnancy Center, Care Net. I run because God has given me the ability in my body to serve Him in this ministry. I will no longer try to be what society considers to be ideal because this body is temporary and my reward is in Heaven.
Today is the day I reaffirm my dedication to God to run and to cycle for His purpose and only His purpose. I am a LIFE Runner and I am His hands and feet.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us
**LIFE Runners are the world's largest Pro-Life running/walking Team. We race together and witness for Life. LIFE Runners pray, fundraise, and run/walk as a Team until we Cross the finish line that ends abortion…All In Christ for Pro-Life! http://liferunners.org
My journey with fitness began 3 years ago. After I gave birth to Ella Mae I weighed about 180 lbs. I am 5'9" so for me that is not excessively big, none the less I was overweight and truly bothered by it. I decided that it was time to change my life and so I did. I began cooking healthy, counting calories and exercising 3-4 times a week. The 3-4 times a week quickly turned to 6-7 days a week as I shed 20 lbs with ease. I was excited to see the results and was proud of myself for coming down from a size 16 jeans to a size 10. When we moved home I backslid a bit but in the first year back I made it down to 145 and finally fit a size 6, I was hooked.
Then the plateau hit, followed by some backsliding and I stabilized out between 150-145, but I wanted to be 140 desperately, and so my fitness addiction grew and I was now working out 6 days a week minimum for about 2 hours a day sometimes 2 times a day. No matter what I did I could not get the scale to budge which only darkened my mood, I had come so far, lost over 30 lbs and here I couldn't lose the last 5! I was running half marathons and riding my bike between 25-40 miles 3 times a week, I was strong, I was healthy but I could not meet the number.
It was shortly after my first marathon that I realized that my motivation had become obsession which then became my "worship." My fitness and weight loss goal was far more important to me than most anything, but certainly more important than my desire for God. It was a brutal wake up call for me, I was worshiping fitness and I would never find satisfaction no matter what goal I met, because my eyes were fixed on something temporal, not something eternal. God brought me back to reality in the best way ever, he introduced me to redemptive running through an amazing ministry, LIFE Runners.
I realized in the moment that I joined LIFE Runners that God wanted me to use my ability to run and ride for him, He wanted my attention and I knew then and there it was time for me to submit and so I did. I surrendered my fitness to Him. Amazing things have happened as I serve Him in this ministry and only a few months ago I was asked to lead our local chapter. I will say that I now weigh between 150-155 and God has put me here for a reason. Although I no longer run or ride for myself, but for Gods glory I was still hanging on to an arbitrary weight goal, keeping my worldly attachment to God's calling for me. It can consume me and has the power to destroy me. When the scale doesn't cooperate I lose my way and then end up giving in to my bingeful urges. I let food control me, I let my weight determine my daily self esteem.
Only just recently have I realized how much I need to give this to God, that I need to let go of the worldly view I am putting on myself because it is toxic in my life. My body is His temple and so it is important that I care for it, and I do. I am healthy, I am fit, and I can do all things through Him. When I worship a jean size so much that it dictates my life, when the number on the scale is so important that I can't function and eat myself into oblivion then there is a problem, it is my idolatry.
So here I sit, saying God I give it all back to you again. I will no longer let the scale dictate my life, in fact the scale is going to have to be put away. He called me to serve Him through the amazing ministry of being a LIFE Runner and I let the enemy side track me. Well I can see clearly now. Tomorrow I will again train my body, because I have a duty to fulfill as a LIFE Runner, but I will not do it with the hope that I will lose weight. I will train my body so that I can run for His purpose. I will train so that every footstep brings Him glory. I will train because I run as a prayer to raise awareness for the Unborn. I run to raise money for my local Crisis Pregnancy Center, Care Net. I run because God has given me the ability in my body to serve Him in this ministry. I will no longer try to be what society considers to be ideal because this body is temporary and my reward is in Heaven.
Today is the day I reaffirm my dedication to God to run and to cycle for His purpose and only His purpose. I am a LIFE Runner and I am His hands and feet.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us
**LIFE Runners are the world's largest Pro-Life running/walking Team. We race together and witness for Life. LIFE Runners pray, fundraise, and run/walk as a Team until we Cross the finish line that ends abortion…All In Christ for Pro-Life! http://liferunners.org
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