Loving Women

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ~John 1:5

I want to understand the world, to understand those who see things differently than me, to be able to listen without having to respond, to let someone share their heart without having to defend, to sit unshaken and securely in the truth while the world spews lies and hate, I just haven't figured out how to do that yet.  I went to San Francisco for the West Coast Walk for Life, in the hopes that my path could cross with hurting women who needed healing, to share the truth where lies are sold as candy, to stand firmly as a voice for the voiceless.  I had no idea what I was about to face, even though this was not my first time walking these streets for this event.  What I did discover is that the devil has turned San Francisco into his playground and that women are hurt and angry and most of them have no idea why.

Everyone has an opinion, and no one is interested in hearing what anyone else has to say.  There is no chance that anyone could ever convince me that abortion is OK, not for any reason.  I know that murder is wrong, I know that the unborn is fully human and therefore taking his/her life is murder.  I know that women who experience abortion deal with pain and harm to their bodies and their emotions.  I know that killing someone will never right a wrong that has been done to you.  I know that no matter your circumstances they cant be fixed by ending an innocent life.  I know that abortion hurts women and that women have been lied to.  I discovered as I read vulgar signs that proclaim women desire not to be defined by their lady parts at the same time demanding that their lady parts define them, show the utter confusion we as women have fallen into.

Women are by nature the softer sex.  We are emotional, we are passionate, we are nurtures and we are our very own worst enemy.  Modern day feminism is a destroyer of women.  We are so busy trying to prove that we can do everything a man can do, that we have forgotten who we are.  Abortion is the true war on women.  It tells women that they are not strong enough, not brave enough, not capable enough to get through anything they face.  Abortion is a denial of our very womanhood.  Women are created able to do something men cannot do, carry life.  So now women are telling other women that to get ahead we need to destroy the one part of ourselves that is different from men, but our ability to be mothers in a strength not a weakness!

There is no such thing as casual sex, sex is by its very nature a mind, body, and soul melding of two people and it has one and only one biological design, to create life!  If you are having sex you are choosing to engage in an activity designed to cause pregnancy, period!  Women, you are better than the one night stand that leaves you feeling broken the next morning.  I know the hardship of this lie, I chose this broken path for a short period of my younger years and with each one night stand I felt more alone.  I say that out loud because I think it is important to know that my heart is authentic, I have been down the road that these feminists claim brings empowerment, but it only brings bondage! That lifestyle is nothing more than a lie and it will spit you out and leave you on the roadside, often times pregnant and scared.

What I think shook me to the core at the West Coast Walk for Life was not the fact that hundreds of thousands of women came to march for the Women's March with their vulgar signs, dressed as vagina's, and shouting for abortion on demand, but the fact that these women have drawn a line in the sand.  I am the enemy because I do not believe that killing our babies makes us stronger as women.  I am the enemy because I do not feel like a victim.  I am the enemy because I serve a loving and forgiving God who dictates the way I should live.  What I saw on the streets was mother against daughter, sister against sister, friend against friend.  Women have a real ability to join up and readily reject and attack anyone who threatens them and our group of 50,000 peaceful and prayerful pro-life advocates were most definitely a threat to them.  My heart broke.  It was like being rejected back in school all over again.  I was rejected on principle.  No one had any interest to sit and talk, to bring about discussion so that we could understand one another and find solutions.  The line was drawn and if you stood on the wrong side of it you were officially kicked out of the woman's club.  As a pro-life advocate I am completely for women, all women, and I fight for them even if they don't understand it!

I looked at little girls dressed up in pink hats with signs saying "hands off my pussy" and my heart hurt for them, that one day they might realize that they are lucky to be alive, that their mother who is championing beside them for abortion on demand without apology, could have decided that their lives did not fit her agenda.  I am first born after my mothers abortion, my sibling didn't make it but I am very grateful that I did.  I don't say these things to be harsh but the reality is that 1 in every 4 mother has had an abortion so most of us are very lucky to be alive and even more so are the children of women who believe abortion is a right that they protect with out apology.

I had the privilege of spending my weekend with teammates from whom, I draw so much comfort and strength but especially with the two teenagers.  These young girls give me hope.  Their hearts were still so very sensitive to the injustices around.  I watched them hurt, I watched them fear, I watched them celebrate.  These young ladies faced a side of women they had never seen before and they stood before an evil they had never experienced.  They were true warriors as they were visually assaulted with offensives signs and slogans and screams from angry protesters.  I loved being with them, praying over them, walking beside them.  I love them and I know that they will carry the torch long after my life has ended, and their generation will be followed by my daughters generation.

The biggest problem that is becoming so apparent is that the lies have preceded the truth for so long that it is an uphill battle to get the truth in front of the lies.  "Its my body, its my choice" "Its nothing more than a procedure, like getting your nails done" "just take a pill and it will all be over."  Trying to reduce abortion to a spa day is a lie.  There is nothing casual about ending a life.  It should never be casual to kill another person.  This is a serious matter because we are not talking about "your" body, we are talking about the person you are carrying.  There are emotional ramifications that come from ending a life.  There are physical ramifications that come from having a baby torn from your body.  This is not casual, this is not moral, abortion is not to be taken lightly.

I have racked my brain and have never found an ethical, logical, and factual response to the statement;
"I support the killing of over 125,000 innocent unborn babies worldwide each day because......"

The truth is that there is not an ethical, logical, and factual excuse to kill an unborn baby.  There are only emotional responses, and emotions are not an acceptable reason to end a life.  Emotions are what drive crimes of passion and murder, emotions are what fuel fear and hate, emotions are not logical, they do not retain moral boundaries, emotions are subjective and lives should never be taken under these conditions.

If I discovered anything on this trip to San Francisco is that the only way to end abortion, the only way to make abortion unthinkable is to pray, pray, pray!  This is a spiritual war, the enemy loves abortion.  There is no question in my mind that abortion is the devils very favorite lie.  You see if the devil can convince a society that not only is abortion acceptable but that it is a right then the devil will own that society.

My amazing friend text me something that really helped me as I poured my broken heart out to her, she said "You cant help someone who doesn't want it.  You can be there, but there is an innate openness needed for that, even if it's just a crack."

She is right, there are going to be times where hearts are simply closed to what I am trying to bring to the table, and in that case I must continue on to the next person that God wants me to reach.  I will not let the bumps in the road throw me off track.  There are many places where women are desperately seeking help and healing and those are the places I will go.  In countries like Fiji women are being forced to abort by friends and family because no one is talking about abortion and they don't know where to turn.  We have become a beacon of hope for those women and they are reaching out to us increasingly.  I will trust the Lord to lead me to those in need so that I can continue to serve women who are ready to be served and I will pray for hearts to be opened in my home country so that I can make a difference in even one life next year when I return to the streets of San Francisco to march again for all women, for all life, for love, for hope, for healing, and for truth.

Growing Faith

God is always refining me, He is always stretching my faith. Sometimes I make it through a trial without losing my cool and other times I fall very far short. This last trial was extremely stressful for me, and I lost my cool in major ways a few times, but the moment I truly surrendered my heart He answered me immediately! I actually felt a touch of relief as I realized that I was finally letting go! 

God you are so amazing and I give you all of the glory!

We have been going through the visa process and it was down to the wire and I was writing in my prayer journal:

1)Why do I want to be in Fiji? Because I love the ministry that God has put before me.

2)If God brought us here for His purpose can anyone other than me in my own free will 

change his plan? No

3)So the only way we leave is if God has somewhere else for us to be? yes

4)Would you you go if God called you elsewhere? yes

SO WHY WORRY!

1 Peter 3:12-13

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

This was my quiet time today and as I let it all sink in I prayed "I know the visas are going to come, I just hate the waiting." This time when I prayed my heart was different, I truly believed it, I knew it was going to happen, I knew I just had to let it go and the very moment this prayer was sent, I mean the very second it happened I got a text from Ryan telling me the Visas were here. God is so amazingly faithful! I wish that I had held on in faith from start to finish but I am happy that He gave me a few days to try again and that I was able to finally surrender and find His peace before the approval came through!

There are many people of great faith, I want to be one of those people! Today I was reading about the centurion who had amazing faith and because of it his servant was healed. (Luke 7:4-10) My biggest struggle is truly taking hold in faith and not letting my emotions win the battle. I am impossible to be around when I worry and I know that I am not supposed to worry so then I get mad at myself for worrying and then I spiral into a mess. God keeps giving me these trials and I think little by little I am learning to hang on just a little bit longer. I want my faith to grow and faith can't grow unless it is tested!

This week on top of the waiting for visas there has been so much going on. Ryan has been gone basically since Christmas, Star got sick and needed medicine, I got a flat tire, Ella Mae is at the end of her summer break and we are butting heads, I am having to run in the heat of the day, I got bit by a dog, got a tetanus shot (ouch), chased by a dog, my dog got in a fight, and so on and so on. I've been heavily immersed in life, because you know what this is life! Every single one of us faces life each day. I want to find my peace again, and that peace cannot be found in the struggle of life but in the quiet time with God. I will continue to seek Him, draw near to Him, trust Him and be thankful for the continuous grace that He showers me with. This week, it has not been pretty, but my husband extended me grace far beyond what I deserved, it was so beautiful. My friends have been sending me uplifting and encouraging words not even knowing how much I was hurting and struggling.  

You see, that is the God I serve. He sends people to you when you need it, He hears you and He responds. This week God seemed silent to me, but looking back I realize that He came down and literally touched me in my physical life by sending people to me when I most needed them. To serve a God so loving, compassionate, and kind is without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life. I don't want to live one second outside of His grace and mercy, and you know what, the truth is that its not living if you are trying to get by without God.

To top it all off God showered us today with some very unexpected blessings and He has provided in more ways then I can count. He didn't just get us through, He went above that and I am so in awe of His loving kindness! To God be the glory, honor and praise!

I pray that next time my faith is stretched to the finish!

Tsunami of life

On January 4th in the morning a 7.2 earthquake hit near the Fiji Islands, it was an offshore quake and was about 227 kilometers SW of Nadi and about 10 kilometers deep.  This in turn caused a tsunami warning for Fiji, a warning that most of us knew nothing about...

On this Wednesday morning I had decided to take some quiet time on the beach.  In addition to my Bible study time each day I want to spend more time withdrawing into "lonely" places to have quiet time with the Lord.  I decided last minute to take my quiet time at Wailoaloa beach.  There were many families on the beach, so I walked down pretty far so that I could hear only the gentle crash of the waves and the sounds of the wind in the palm trees.  I sat down, took my shoes off, closed my eyes and started to pray.  My heart has been unsettled since I returned to Fiji, there is just so much going on and I haven't taken the time I needed to really sit quietly before the Lord, so I was relieved to be there, alone with Him.  He spoke to my heart and I felt the weight lifted of some burdens I had been carrying.  It was a truly good time silent before the Lord.  As my quiet time ended I began getting texts from my family in the US checking to be sure I was OK, asking if I knew there was an earthquake and a tsunami warning.  I was a bit shocked, I had felt nothing but I assumed it was an offshore earthquake and I heard no sirens or any warnings of a tsunami.  There were quite a few people gathered at the beach all none the wiser.  I looked for information and found that most of the alerts for the 11:45 wave were issued no earlier than 11:58 which would have been far to late had a wave arrived.

I returned to my car and went home, honestly thinking very little of it.  But as time pressed on my eyes were opened to what was kept from our shores.  God spoke to my heart about how we don't know what is just beyond our vision, we don't know what is just around the corner, we don't know when our last breath will be.  The picture above is one I took of the calm ocean I sat before as my family text me.  As I look at it, it reminds me that we don't have the big picture, we can't see beyond the horizon, but God can!

My friend Fi told me that God showed her an Angel holding back the wave, that we were protected and spared to awaken us to the moment, so that we would see that the hour is near and just like this wave that we were not expecting, God will bring us home in the blink of an eye.  We cannot be sleeping, we need to be vigilant and ready!  We need to be a strong voice of truth in the dying world.

The more God talks to me about the tsunami the more I see also how much of a provider He is!  How many "tsunamis" does He hold back from us without us ever knowing?  When I'm frustrated because I'm late but just cant seem to get out the door is it possible that He is protecting me from an accident? The unanswered prayer that you desperately desire but seems to be rejected, is it possible He has something better planned for you?  Time and time again as a Christian I am reminded that I truly must be willing to fall into His arms and trust Him, that He knows the wave headed my way and He will bring me through it.  When we get hit with a "tsunami" in life, it may feel like we are being forgotten and forsaken but we can be sure that is not the case.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Is life always going to be easy, OF COURSE NOT!  Are bad things going to happen, yes, that is part of life.  But we can be sure that God will never leave us through it all.  Everything may not happen for a reason, but nothing happens that God does not know about.  He will provide for you during the struggle if you just trust in Him.  There are so many "tsunamis" in life, they sneak up on us and take us out like a freight train.  They have very little warning and the devastation can seem catastrophic, the death of a loved one, a job loss, an illness.  These things can bring us to our knees, but God is there with us, He truly cares for us and wants to walk with us as we recover.

I saw the best quote yesterday from Toby Mac's Speak Life page;
"So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.  You're doing great."

Thank you God for holding back the tsunami, for protecting our lives here in Fiji, and for opening our eyes to bigger things.  Help us to rise in truth and to remember that we do not know the hour at which you will return.  We must be living every second for You and the purpose You have put on our lives, to reach out to the lost and broken.  

Connected

My family took a much needed mini vacation to our favorite spot in Fiji, Treasure Island.  We needed this time where Ryan and I didn't have to think about work or ministry but just spend some time on our family.  God knew we needed this time.  A potential cyclone had moved in a few days prior and we considered canceling but in the end we knew we needed to go so we did and it was perfection.

I love to take pictures, love it!  I see something beautiful and I want to capture it.  I spend a lot of my time taking pictures of the world around me because I just want to share what my eyes are seeing.  I didn't realize the impact of the message God would reveal to me in this.  I was sitting on the edge of the pool watching the ocean below.  There were fish hiding up in the rocks clearly trying to avoid a predator on the prowl and then I saw him!  This was our second sighting of the beautiful tiny black tip reef shark!  The first time he swam right up to us on the shore as we were getting ready to snorkel, so close we could have touched him.  I watched him cruise slowly on the outer edge of the rocks and instead of being still in that moment and enjoying it I called to Ryan to bring me my phone so I could snap a picture.  By the time I got my phone the shark was gone and I had missed it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to capture a moment, there is nothing wrong with wanting to share the beauty, but how often are we so busy trying to capture something that we miss the experience of it!  I realized that for two days I captured many moments, moments that I missed the experience of, moments that were there for me to enjoy but passed me by.  I put down the phone and I gazed out at the ocean realizing that far to often our faith walk can fall into this trap.

It's simply not enough to read the word, we need to experience the word.  It's not enough to just know of God, to have a picture of who He is and what He has done, but miss the intimacy with Him.  It's not enough to have religion, we must have relationship!  So many Christians walk around with an emptiness, it comes from not being engaged with God.  It's wonderful to read your Bible every day (you absolutely should), but it needs to go a step further, you need to consume the very word of God!

For example;
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I can read this verse and think, "so I'm not supposed to worry about anything and I'm supposed to pray about everything and God will give me peace, sounds great but...."

Just reading these words won't change my view, but when I engage these words, when I put them to the test, when I ask God to give me understanding and to help me through this discipline I get to experience Him!  What I come to realize when I dig into this verse is that peace is something unattainable outside of a relationship with God.  Peace is impossible for those who do not know God.  Peace is a gift and it comes with instructions!  When I start to engage the word it changes my life!  A snapshot of the verse is nice, but the experience of the verse is life changing!

We are told to abide in Him and He will abide in us, without this very personal and relational connection we can not live effective lives.  It's not enough to check in from time to time, say your set prayer when you wake up, or before you go to bed and before meals.  These things are important, but to truly experience God we have got to stop taking snap shots and engage Him!  Abide is an action, we are called to be in the action!  It's interesting, no matter what filter or program you use, a picture can hardly compare to the beauty of what your eyes see.  It's where art comes from, where poetry is born, God's creation.  We see something so beyond our imagination that we want to capture it and share it, but when we do capture it somehow it doesn't compare to the real deal.  The experience, that is where the magic lives!

Pictures are great, they take us back to memories that we want to keep in our hearts.  There is nothing wrong with taking pictures, unless your focus is so caught up in taking the pictures that you miss the encounter.  I have noticed at certain times in my life my quiet time has gotten robotic and that it doesn't fill me the way it does when I am fully engaged.  I think as humans we sometimes struggle with that, each in our own way!  Time with God is not a box to check, its not an obligation to be carried out, but it is a relationship to be cherished and savored.  God loves it when we open the Word, but He loves it even more when we take time to talk to Him about the Word.  God loves it when we pray, but He loves it even more when we spend our day in conversation with Him.  Your eyes don't always have to be closed, God is walking with you and He loves to talk to us, conversations with Him are not exclusive to a quiet moment alone.

LORD, help me to experience You daily, to truly live each moment with You.  Put me in a position to encounter You on a deeper level each day.  You are offering me experiences, help me not to be satisfied with snap shots!  I'm sorry Lord when I detach and try to navigate on my own.  Teach me to engage life, to live it, to experience it all with You for Your purpose and Your plan.  I want to always abide in You so that You abide in me, I do not want to be a branch cut off by the business and distractions of the world.  You promise that if I draw near to You that You draw near to me, thank You for never leaving my side, for always speaking clearly to my heart and for keeping me pointed at the cross. Apart from you Lord I can not serve effectively for Your Kingdom, I want to bear much fruit for you in my life. Amen

Just One More Lord!

"Lord, please help me get one more." ~Desmond Doss

As I watched "Hacksaw Ridge" with tears streaming down my face, Desmond Doss' plea to God touched me on a monumentally deep level.  I realized in that moment that this should be and is now my daily prayer!

My "battleground" may not be a literal war with guns and bombs, but it is a war that brings death daily to thousands and leaves behind even more broken  and wounded survivors.  The difference between having an opinion and and having a calling is the deep seated conviction that drives you!  My battle to save the unborn and women from abortion is not just something I have an opinion on, it is a passionate, faith driven desire to speak truth into darkness!  Not only to protect, but to show those who have been wounded that there is a Savior who passionately loves and cares for them.

I have felt, lately, a brand new urgency to reach those who are broken with Jesus message of hope and to empower those who will listen so that they can be protected from the devastation of abortion before it ever happens.  Jesus is the answer to everything! I don't know how many days my life will have, but my prayer will be, "Lord, please help me get one more!"

"Lord, let me reach one more woman in crisis pregnancy who needs to know you.  Lord, let me help one more mother choose life.  Lord, let me help lead one more abortion scarred woman to your redemptive healing.  Lord, let me speak life to one more young woman being pushed to abort.  Lord, let me reach one more lost person with your message of salvation.  Through every struggle, through every hardship, Lord, please help me to get one more!"

I can't give up, because this isn't about me, this is about those headed to slaughter.  I won't give up because I have seen the faces of those who chose death and the way it broke them.  I won't quit because I have held sobbing women in my arms who felt hopeless.  I will never stop pressing forward, because I have seen the eyes of the unborn babies who were saved and they way their parents were protected from the harm that would have come had they chosen to end their babies life.  Until abortion is unthinkable and every life has value from conception until death I won't give up, I won't back down, and I will never stop fighting!  This is why God called me out of my broken life into the light and this is what I will spend the rest of my days doing, serving God, women, the unborn and families!

My Faith Journey to Vanuatu

I want to start by saying to God be all the honor, glory, and praise!  He delivers, He provides, He leads, and I am just thankful that He has chosen to use me and my family, it is a blessing to serve God....

John 15:16
You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit-fruit that will last-and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

It began with an email that left me excited and terrified all at once.  It was the door opening and I knew if I decided to walk through it, it would change everything.  I remember being brought to tears from a true sense of being overwhelmed by the gravity of it all, knowing we would answer the call but also knowing the road ahead was not going to be easy.  As I shared my heart with my mother in law, my daughter made the answer clear.  My precious six year old encouraged me and reminded me that God would give me the words, I just needed to trust Him.  I knew this was the moment that our ministry, and our lives as a family would never be the same.  My family was ready and with them by my side I sent the email back accepting an invitation from Raising Sisters to speak about abortion at the conference in Vanuatu and in my heart saying "yes LORD" to the call as a missionary family for LIFE.

Our family grew more and more excited as we saw this ministry over take any plans we might have had.  When God gives you such a big, bold dream and then opens the doors there is NOTHING like it!  I knew my walk with the LORD had to deepen, and I knew as it deepened He was going to do some "house cleaning" in my heart and in my life.  I felt drawn to God like never before, each day I desired more and more time with Him and each day He revealed more of me that needed to change.  Like an onion He continues to peel back my layers, changing me, refining me.  Praise God He is not done with me yet!  It hurts when you are revealed to yourself in such a raw way, to see yourself through the lens of change, but praise God-it is refreshing to see Him bring about real change in my heart!  The growing pains of change are no less pains, but the embrace of the Savior is all the comfort I needed in the process.  For the first time in my life, I began to see that my past sins, failures, and pains all came together in a beautiful portrait of redemption and healing, my testimony is my greatest gift in serving God!

My family found strength in the firm direction of our calling to the mission field, to serve as LIFE Runners by bringing education and training people to defend LIFE.  By boldly proclaiming the truth about abortion in countries where the truth was desperately needed.  God has called us to speak about abortion where the words are rarely uttered and considered taboo, but the act of abortion is daily committed.  In places where women were being broken, but no one was there to mend the broken pieces.  Not because they didn't want to, but because the truth of this brutality had not yet been brought into light, nor the knowledge of its horror made known.  We will go to the women of the South Pacific and open their eyes and hearts to the true nature of abortion, and we will deliver Gods message of hope, healing, and change.  All of these things are well beyond our abilities to do, but praise God He is ever faithful to provide and He always delivers!  Side by side with our teammates we will proclaim the truth!

As we neared the date to fly to Vanuatu, God began having me flex my Spiritual gifting by having me speak at a SPEF women retreat and give a message at my church home, Living Way Church Nadi.  As I trusted the Lord, He came through and used me to speak to my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Women and men being delivered from bondage and struggle was all the encouragement I needed.  I felt the Holy Spirit so near to me.  He encourages me and my faith continues to grow with every test and trial.  God is ever faithful.

Since we moved to Fiji, God has surrounded us with men and women of faith both far and near.  We serve an awesome God, who not only touches and encourages us Himself, but sends others to faithfully respond to Him to encourage and affirm.  I have been blessed with amazing prayer partners and mentors.  I have a husband who is more than I could have ever hoped for, an incredible man of integrity and faith.  A daughter who is a miracle in every way, with faith and prayers well beyond her age.  A church family and LIFE Runner core team that are ever faithful.  Amazing friends that have never discouraged me, but embrace the dreams and vision God has given my family for this ministry. We are so blessed.

The week finally arrived for Vanuatu and God delivered!  Every fiery dart the enemy shot was obliterated!  The trials came but it seemed to only strengthen my resolve.  I had been called to go and speak and I was not going to back down.  God took care of the details at home with Ryan's schedule and Ella Mae's care.  From the start I had told God if He wanted me to go I needed Him to cover the details of my household while I was away.  As I dropped Ella Mae to school the morning of my flight and went for my run I could not hold back the tears as I saw His promise answered.  God revealed how our family was surrounded by people of faith who had, without thought of their own inconvenience, stepped in to help take care of our daughter.  Those amazing friends who took her or were on standby to take her were a complete answer to prayer!  My precious husband, would be flying long days while filling both of our roles in the house and never once complained but cheered me on and encouraged me forward.  Because of all of this I was able to leave for Vanuatu in peace.

I knew something very powerful and important lay ahead because only hours before my flight my stomach became sick.  The me of only a short time ago would have called it quits right there and would not have gotten on that plane.  The thought of flying to a developing country when I couldn't even be a few minutes away from a toilet was overwhelming but I surrendered it to God.  At the airport Bui gave me a prophet scripture.

Jeremiah 1:17-18
"Get yourself ready!  Stand up and say to them whatever I command you.  Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.  Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land-against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land.

There was no question we were headed into battle!  It was by His grace alone I made it through the flight and to my hotel.  Fortunately we arrived on Wednesday and I didn't have to speak until Friday because by Thursday my condition worsened and by midday I was so weak from dehydration that I knew I needed help.  I prayed and my sisters prayed with me and then I called Ryan.  We decided it was time to find a doctor so Bui, who is a ray of sunshine, and I headed to the medical clinic.  I was so exhausted and dehydrated but Bui has an infectious joy about her and she just lifted my spirits!  Our mini bus driver had actually driven us past our hospital and dropped us a further 1km beyond it!  With laughter in our hearts we navigated nearly all the way back to our hotel on foot until we found the clinic that was so close to our hotel that we should have just walked in the first place!  The doctor was alone in the clinic and told us it was lunch break but he ended up taking me back for the examination and treated me for dehydration and a bacterial infection.  I will tell you the truth, I was already healed before I took the first pill.  God touched my fearful heart with the glorious laughter and kindness of my friend, it made all of the difference.  I rested, prayed and studied the rest of the day, I was ready!

My housemates, two of the other conference speakers and all of the Raising Sisters Committee, were such a blessing to me.  This is only my second conference but the trend remains the same.  The Holy Spirit comes and bonds you together and without even knowing each other or the message the others have prepared it all ties together in a perfectly delivered package!  That is the power of the Holy Spirit!  God delivered!  The first day of conference was a powerhouse of messages that reached to the hearts and needs of the women attending.  I love the way it feels to be empty so that God can flow through you.  The way it feels to speak out of the overflow!  It blessed me to be able to share what God had prepared for the women the first day and I was encouraged as the others speakers messages touched my heart, my needs, and brought about change in my life!

The people of Vanuatu are incredible, the smiles, the huge open hearts.  Even now as I write I long for their embrace again.  To see them so intimately yearning for what God is bringing to the table.  To hear and feel their hearts.  To see their needs and to want to carry some of the weight of their burdens.  The thing about abandoning your desires and clinging to Gods purpose for you is that the ones you come to serve end up blessing you!  God continues to break my heart for what breaks His and it is always raw and painful on a level I didn't know existed.  The people of Vanuatu have captivated my heart and I long for the time that I will return to them! The way they blessed me will be something I never forget!

I have to say that every single woman and man who came from Fiji for the Raising Sisters conference were such a blessing as LIFE Runners teammates!  They are All IN and it is because of that powerful teamwork that this was Fiji's first LIFE Runners international mission trip!  My brothers and sisters in Christ in Fiji have a place in my heart that is eternally precious to me.  They may never fully know how deeply they have impacted my family's life!  Together the LIFE Runners in Fiji and in America were lifting powerful prayers for us as I began to share this message of hope!  Being a part of something so powerful as LIFE Runners is life changing.  The precious board members back in America are such a strength to me, and their love, support, vision, and passion have made a global impact in ways that they may not even know!  God is so amazing!

I love the way God takes over.  His plans are above our plans.  He knows the needs of the people because He looks straight at our hearts.  I am learning to let go and simply be used by God and it is POWERFUL!  As I began to speak I was told that I would be having an interpreter because they wanted to be sure none of the message was lost in translation, so everyone could receive.  Mere came and stood beside me, we had never met, and I prayed for God to help us because speaking and waiting on interpretation is a "dance"-one neither of us had ever done before.  The fear that I wouldn't be able to have the message flow lasted for only a moment as I remembered that the Holy Spirit would deliver.  These words I am writing now will not do justice to what happened then and there, but God poured into me His message and He flowed right through Mere to deliver it to the hearts of the women.  For most of them this was the first time they had ever heard someone speak on abortion, the call for a changed heart from within the church, the rise to bringing abortion out of the darkness and into the light, and the deliverance and healing from its bondage.  To say the whole experience was overwhelming does it no justice.  I watched their faces as they received the message.  I could see the deep, hidden pain in so many of their faces and the hopeful expectation in others. What I saw was empowered women ready to take up the call to protect their daughters, sisters, and friends from the evil that is abortion. What I witnessed was a mighty move of God!  At the alter call so many women were set free from their past abortions and placed on the road to healing, as we prayed with them, cried with them, and held them close.  The women of Vanuatu will rise to the call, they will run and not grow weary!  We gained many LIFE Runners that day, but more than that we witness the beginning to healing for the women of a nation!  They are already on fire and are just gathering together and making arrangements so that I can come back and equip them with education and guidance that they would otherwise be unable to access in Vanuatu.  We will return and give them the tools they need to defend LIFE by protecting their women and unborn!

As I reflected on the many testimonies shared with me, I was brought to my knees.  People who had been struggling found strength, those who were seeking purpose were being empowered, the broken hearted were cloaked in healing.  That is what the many speakers of this awesome conference were able to deliver by the Power of the Holy Spirit.  Raising Sisters Conferences are incredible and it is because of their vision that we have been able to take the LIFE Runners vision in the South Pacific to the next level and a whole new platform!  There is no way for me to say thank you enough to the Raising Sisters Committee, but they know my heart! I could write pages on the powerful speakers and how they blessed and changed me with their obedience and powerful Spirit led messages.  I could share story after story of the testimonies that were shared with me, but for now I'll just share three that most encouraged me.

One young woman who came forward for deliverance from her past abortion spoke of how her abortion had given her the sensitivity to be gentle and compassionate with a young relative who ended up becoming pregnant and was rejected by the family.  She knew that she needed to encourage her so that she wasn't pressured to make the same mistake that she had.  At the session she was finally set free of all of her past guilt and shame! Praise God!  I told her that her testimony and her life experience made her the best kind of LIFE Runner because her heart was already sold out for the cause!

A beautiful nurse came to me and told me this was the answer to the dream God gave her and she was ready to lead this LIFE Runners mission in Vanuatu.  We actually had at least four women that felt called to lead, not just join, PRAISE GOD!  She said she had a dream that she was walking in a field and heard a baby crying.  She saw it was an abandoned baby so she picked it up intending to take it to her pastor and would ask to be allowed to raise the baby as her own.  As she began to walk away, she heard another cry and as she turned she saw a field full of babies.  She cried out to God that there were too many and she didn't know what to do.  She told me that this ministry was confirmation that the new medical clinic she and her husband had opened would somehow fill this purpose, praise God.

I later found my interpreter, Mere, as we were getting ready to leave. I just wanted to thank her from the depths of my heart.  I wanted her to know I could not have done it without her and that she had blessed me.  She told me that she had just come back from Australia after a round of chemo for breast cancer.  She had been asking God to use her.  She had never interpreted before, but praise God, she rose to the call.  God used her mightily that day, to deliver His message.  We prayed over her, we laid hands on her and we agree by the shed blood of Jesus for her healing.  God hears us, he is so faithful!  My heart is deeply moved by Mere, who could have been at home resting but instead came out desiring to be used by God.  What a beautiful woman of God, I know He has mighty plans for her.  Please keep her in your prayers!

As I have sat quietly, waiting upon the Lord, I am beginning to understand the vision for LIFE Runners missions that God has put on my heart.  The LIFE Runners ministry is a powerful one but it works differently in developing/3rd world nations.  The t-shirts spark the conversations and raise awareness, but we must also give them the tools to defend LIFE.  It has to be nurtured and cultivated and requires willingness to educate and train up the people so they can serve their communities.  In countries like Fiji and Vanuatu, not everyone has access to the Internet, not everyone has the ability to gain knowledge on such topics as abortion and yet abortions happen at a higher rate in developing nations verses developed nations.  The exact statistic is 37 per 1000 vs 27 per 1000 respectively (Guttmacher Institute).  This was the first Fiji LIFE Runners mission trip but it won't be the last! We saw how desperate they were for the message.  As Christians we are called to go out into the world and speak the good news and we resolve that is exactly what we will continue to do.  My family and I will continue to serve in whatever nation God opens the doors to.  We will take the educational tools we have access to and bring them to countries that are in the dark.  As I looked upon those beautiful faces of the women delivered and empowered God spoke to my heart.  "I pulled you out of the ashes of your life to serve Me in this purpose."

So I say "YES LORD!"  My family is sold out for you and we will deliver the LIFE Runners message where ever you send us.  Planned Parenthood, like a wolf in sheep clothing, is already lying in wait in all of these countries, so we must be there to bring the truth and expose the lies.  We won't back down, we won't give in, we will stand up and defend LIFE with our teammates all around the world, from conception to natural death.  We are All IN Christ for Pro-LIFE!

Life Runners is funded by donations alone, and to keep this powerful ministry reaching far and wide so that all women of the world are protected we need your help!  In America the youth are rising to the call and our school chapters are growing and expanding and with donations we are able to bless them with t-shirts and gear to proclaim the powerful message "REMEMBER the Unborn, Jer 1:5."  More and more people are answering the call and are reaching out to the scared and broken women who need our love and support, and your donations give us the opportunity to bless Pregnancy Resource Centers by supporting 5k charity runs/walks.  Please consider making a donation today to help us get the message of healing and hope further than ever imagined.  The t-shirts are often too expensive for those who join in our developing nations and the donations help us provide them with the shirts that are making a huge impact. We are also able to bring educational tools to them such as fetal models and brochures which are life changing in countries that don't have common access to ultrasound or developmental education.  If you would like to specifically help us in our outreach in the South Pacific and other countries around the world just ear mark your donation "international."  These are just a few ways that your donation to LIFE Runners can make an impact! http://www.liferunners.org/donate/

Thank you for considering partnering with LIFE Runners, with over 4,700 LIFE Runners in 28 countries around the world we are one mission minded team reaching to every corner of the earth, every donation makes a huge difference!

"The fight for life is not the cause of a special few, but the cause of every man, woman and child who cares not only about his or her own family, but the whole family of men." ~Dr. Mildred Jefferson

The Journey

Mark 4:35

That day when the evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.”

Since I turned back to God 7 years ago God has taken me on a great journey!  There have been many times He has changed my direction as He navigates me and my family through the life and the plans He has for us.  Every time He has called us to set out on a new direction it has required us to “get in the boat” and to put our faith in Him.  When Jesus calls us to a new direction there is excited expectation but you can be certain there will be trials as you “journey to the other side.”  These trials are what better prepare us for the next level!

We have the option to respond to the trials in two ways.  Like Jesus, covered in peace while trusting in faith or like the disciples, consumed with fear and doubt!

Mark 4:38

Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion.  The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?”

Jesus had invited them to go with Him across the lake but they lost faith when the storm came up.  Jesus didn’t tell them that they would attempt to cross the lake, He invited them to cross it, and because He is God we know that if He says something is going to happen we can rest assured He will see it into completion!  When we are called to journey with God on a new direction we have to remember that He is in the boat with us and He will make a way for us.  This “storm” is an opportunity to have our faith deepened.  The “storm” is not unknown to God and can only be calmed by God, we have no power to control our situation but we do have the power to control our response to what is happening.  Do we let fear overtake us or do we rest in the peace that comes through faith…

The storm is an opportunity to take hold of our faith and really experience how strong or weak it is.  It reveals to us where we need to grow.  How we talk during the storm is determined by our attitude.  Do we speak of promises made and yet to come or only talk of what we see as the storm rages on?  Our attitude shapes our heart and out of the mouth speaks the heart.  Attitude is just as important as our actions.  Faith behind our choices and motivation behind our actions are all seen by God!  Do we simply speak of faith but fail at faith when we are tested?  The destination that God has promised is on the other side of the trial, and how we walk through the trial prepares us for the next level of service.  Only by being tested can we grow stronger.

Hebrews 10:23

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

Our faith is strengthened when we believe without a doubt what God has promised will come to pass.  We do this by acknowledging the very nature of God, He does not lie!  We also draw strength from remembering all of the promises He has kept in the past.  We have no reason to doubt God and yet we often do!  No one, except God, can be trusted without fail to keep their word.  God can not and does not lie to us!  What He promises He delivers, what He tells us is truth.  It is easy to have faith in the good times, but when the storms in our life start to rage we need to remember all of the ways He has faithfully provided!

James 3:10

And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.  Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

Do we speak of faith when things are good but speak doubt when trouble finds us.  Faith built on a foundation of circumstances will be weak and easily shaken, but faith built on the promises of God will face the storm and not be moved!  We need to set our eyes on Jesus and get in the boat.  The journey may be filled with rough seas but if God has promised to take you to the other side you can be sure you will arrive!