I love the way God speaks to my heart! I love the way He encourages, He builds up, He redirects and He corrects. This week I am preparing to speak at a Woman Conference and every single time I am invited to speak two things happen. Firstly, the enemy attacks. He attacks me, he attacks my family, he tries to attack my peace. Secondly, God moves in and encourages. He builds up, He directs, and He protects! This week was no different!
As I sat in Church Sunday morning I found myself lost in worship laying all of my burdens at Gods feet. I felt one thing being clearly spoken to my heart. “I am going to use all of it for good, not one bit of it will be wasted. I will use it all!” I felt encouraged by this, reminded that no matter what I have been through God has gotten me to this point. Even the wrong turns He has and will continue to use for His purpose.
The service was outstanding. We had a visiting group called the Covenant Players and they ministered in drama. They were fun and engaging, but the message was rock solid and hit each of us in a unique way. The final drama was the one that left me trembling with thankfulness. This drama reached me on a level that I needed to have reached. It solidified in me all that I am going through and showed me, in part, the why.
I won’t explain the whole play, but I am going to tell you what it was to me.
The scene opens with a woman traveling a great upward journey, she is heavily laden with packs, she is dirty, hungry and exhausted. She collapses and takes off all of her packs and decides that rest is what she needs most and so she sleeps. While she sleeps God ministers to her in her dreams and refreshes her. Now as this scene is opening my heart was crying out “why are you carrying so much weight?” Thinking I was so clever, I thought the play would be about laying down ones burdens, casting off the weight, giving it all to God, but I was wrong!
As she awakens refreshed she goes to get something to eat out of her pack, but before she can eat, even though she is famished she sees another traveler. This traveler is hurt and looks a mess. She leaves her food to attend to the weary traveler. Now I’m thinking “oh this will be about being a good Samaritan,” but again, I was wrong, it was so much more!
The weary traveler has had enough of this upward journey and is headed back down to the “comforts and safety” of normality. She is done, it's too hard and she is ready to give up the path she is on. From her point of view climbing this trail is impossible. She is hurt, she is broken and she has had enough! (Man I know what that feels like, don’t we all?)
This faithful traveler goes on to talk about how she has been there, but prayer and faith keep her climbing. She begins to attend to the weary travelers needs, first tending her wounds with the first aid kit she is carrying in her pack, then she pulls out food and fresh clothing to give to her. The weary traveler is still insisting that she will not return to the path and that she is headed back, and that she should save her supplies. The faithful traveler begins to take off the weary travelers ruined shoes and wash her feet, the weary traveler breaks down and begins to allow her to help, still asking her why. The faithful traveler continues to pull things from her pack and supply the weary traveler. She explains of how her faith and prayer have gotten her through and how the weary traveler simply can’t give up. In the end she gives the weary traveler, who has agreed to go on, her spare pack realizing that she has carried it all this way for this very moment…..
That was it for me, that was the answer I have been seeking. So many times the weight of all that I carry seems impossible. Some of the weight that I carry is from my own mistakes of the past. Some, is from accepting Gods call on our family to go out into the world and to serve Him. The weight seems so heavy at times and there are days I don’t understand why God doesn’t lift it from my shoulders. I realized that I am carrying these things because I need them to be with me when I cross the path of someone who will benefit from what God has given me to share. I got chills as I remembered that just an hour earlier God reminded me that He will “use it all, nothing will be wasted,” and now He was allowing me to see what He meant! I could hardly contain my tears as I came to understand that as I continue this “upward journey” I will carry extra “baggage” with me, but it won’t be to harm me, it is not to punish me, it is to prepare me to help someone else!
Even more amazing, is that with every opportunity to minister to others, I am able to use things I have learned from my own past to encourage them in the right direction. It makes me relatable as they see my sincerity of the pain those wrong choices caused. Even more, with every opportunity to minister to another, the weight gets less as I give them the "item" in my “pack” meant for that moment! Praise God, it makes my heart soar just thinking about it!
It is not easy! Some of the sacrifices my family makes to be here seem monumental, but now more than ever it is worth it! This week has been rough for Ella Mae, and therefore rough for us all, but with every struggle God continually reminds me of His promise to my family…
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
When I turned my life back over to Jesus and I said “yes God” to whatever He had planned, God was also promising to provide for our family in every way. He is the cornerstone in our family and we will go where called, whenever He calls. He has faithfully provided and I have no doubt that He will continue to do so! There are some days where the weight of it all seems so heavy, but now I understand that weight! It is not a punishment, it is a provision! Something meant for someone else that we have the blessing to deliver, but it requires us to carry it for some time! About two years ago I began praying for God to “break my heart for what breaks His,” and more and more I feel that happening. To understand why some burdens have been left while others have been lifted is one of the most encouraging messages I have ever received! It is a blessing to carry weight for others. After all, we are called to love one another and bear one another’s burdens!
No matter where you are in life, or what your circumstances you face, stay on the upward path! Don’t give up! Your pack may be heavy today so you can bless someone tomorrow! You never know who is carrying what you need and how close they are to bringing it to you! He never asks us to carry a burden alone, He is always there sharing the weight and when we don't have any more to give He provides in every way! If we trust God and continue to say yes to Him then He will continue to pour into our lives as we become the hands and feet of Jesus here on this planet!
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