I can't help but feel overwhelmingly blessed every year around this time. Even if things aren't quite going my way it is a reminder of the way God hears the cry of our heart and keeps His promises. Our precious daughter is living proof that out of my deepest pain, God blessed me with my most amazing miracle. My daughter could only be her with the circumstances of my life. My Ella Mae could only be mine by my infertility. I could only have experienced the miracle I did by my infertility. Maybe one day God will open the door for adoption but until then I am deeply satisfied to know that some 20 years ago God promised me that I would have a child and here she is, getting ready to turn 7!
Ella Mae is a joy, she is wise beyond her age in things of God and she speaks encouragement over us at times in ways that come straight from the Holy Spirit. If I ever fear that I might not be living up to my call in ministry she reminds me just what God is speaking to my heart. I pray that she will always follow Him and will not let the world make her heart hard. I pray that she will value herself above popular opinion and will guard her heart and purity. I pray that her joy will come from the Lord and that she will serve Him first and foremost. I pray that God will bless her with a family and send her a man after His own heart to love and cherish her. I pray that she will be a world changer, a truth speaker, a light shiner. I pray that she will live out her purpose and calling in Christ Jesus. She is a gift from God and I know that He has special plans for her.
Ella Mae teaches me how to be a better person. She forgives without question, loves beyond reason, and is passionate and creative! She isn't scared to ask God for the moon and she trusts that He hears her. She has faith and wisdom that floor me. I am so thankful that God has allowed us to raise her in Fiji because I believe that her life as a 3rd culture child is part of what will shape her into the world changer she wants to be. I can see her running an orphanage in a 3rd world country because adopting orphans is something she talks about daily! Oh her heart, I wish she knew how much her heart gives me the courage to press in and push forward in our family ministry and in life. Just looking at her makes me want the world to be a better place for women, for mothers, a place where both the born and unborn are equally valued and protected.
As I read back over her the story that I began writing 8 years ago I can't help but notice how much it has changed me! I read my words, and being a completely different person today than I was then, I smile at how much God was getting ready to do in our lives and how much we didn't even see it! It is so good to look back, to remember where we were and how far we have come. I give my testimony often, and I am passionate about it because God has done such amazing things in not just my life, but in my family and our ministry! When I read my old blog entries, I see how young I was in my faith, and now I feel so much more deeply the true measure that God blessed us with. I almost want to shake the 8 years ago me and say, "you have no idea how much this is going to change you, change others, and impact your life in the future!" The truth is that I am guessing when I look back on this post 8 years from now I will most certainly say the same thing! That is what I love about the faith journey I am on with God, the growing, the changing, the refining, IT NEVER STOPS! Until my last breath is taken here on earth God will always be working to make me better and I will always be reaching for Him to keep using me and growing me.
This time of year has always been very special for our family, God always brings us miracles and direction around Easter and I am not missing the symbolism of that. The journey to discovering Gods plan to bless us with a child started on Easter Sunday, she was born just 2 weeks after Easter, God spoke to Ryan and I about leaving the security of our life in America and moving to the middle of the South Pacific for His plan on Easter Sunday, The Across America Relay always runs up to the week before Easter, ending on Palm Sunday, and this year Ella Mae's Birthday falls a week before Easter. Easter is a reminder that the power of death was broken, a reminder of the blood that was shed for us, and the salvation that was freely given on the cross. Without Easter, without Resurrection Sunday, we would not have the assurance of salvation through Christ Jesus, but praise God the tomb is empty, Jesus broke the power of death and rose again! Jesus chose to carry the burden of our sin, to pay the price for our sin, to die for us so that we could have eternity with Him in heaven. No other religion can claim that, no created god could do that, there is only one God, only one Heaven and there is only one way to get there, through Christ Jesus!
LIFE Runners is the ministry God has called our family to, and it is because of my daughter and my heart for the women and unborn of this world to be protected that I press in and don't give up. Each year for the 40 days of the A-Cross America Relay I pray for guidance on what challenge I should take on for the Relay. This year I felt led to cover the mileage it would take for me to run around the entire Island of Viti Levu (the island we live on in Fiji) and that distance was 314 miles (505kms). This challenge was bigger than marathon training and it would require complete faith as I would be running 50 plus mile weeks for nearly 6 weeks solid, not a small undertaking. I pressed in and trusted God to provide and during this time I wanted breakthrough and spiritual growth so I spent most of my time in prayer and praise and only listened to my music when I felt released to do so. I also felt like my runs should happen in the light of day as much as possible, which meant running in extreme heat at times, but I did it none the less. God took care of me, and provided for me in every single way. I can hardly believe that I have come this far, but God has never let me fall when I let Him lead. Even this last week I came down with a virus and yet somehow recovered within under 48 hours so I could continue to run. I have run in the heat, I have run in the rain, I have run in the sun and in the dark of night, but one thing remains, I never ran alone because God was with me every mile. During these amazing runs I carried prayer requests of friends and loved ones and the truth is that lifting their prayers carried me! God has spoken to my heart on so many things and has given me breakthrough in areas I needed change and encouraged me where I needed to press in. Truth is that this was never about running, and for me has never been. Its not about losing weight, its not about a PR, its not about my physical body. I have to say that God sent me the most amazing running buddy and Violet has blessed me greatly by running some of my very hard long days with me. She ran when it hurt, she ran when she didn't need to, but she ran with me so that I could have courage on days when I felt too tired to go on! Our time of fellowship will be forever treasured and as her family heads to where God is taking them I will continue to pray for her and miss her as I set out on those early mornings!
This 314 mile challenge over 40 days wasn't a personal goal, it was a faith pledge, a journey with the Holy Spirit to reach for something that was beyond my personal reach. To fast of my energy and my physical strength and to trust God completely. It was a journey to pray for Fiji and the world, to pray for women and families, to be visible and available to those who are scared and hurting. This is not about me, its about trusting Him and I knew He would carry me through, He always does!
So today I finished my legs of the A-Cross America Relay, I fulfilled my pledge by the grace of God and I pray that someone out there was touched by the message, moved by my persistence, encouraged by the hope that the Holy Spirit carried around me as I ran. I pray that lives were saved and healed when they read the message "REMEMBER the Unborn, Jer 1:5" on my jersey day after day. I pray that my daughter saw in me a woman who will go to any length to serve the Lord, and that she will know that I run for her! Tomorrow my miracle turns 7, and I can't help but realize that the promise God made to me 20 years ago is still coming true every single day as I get the privilege to raise her, to lead her and to guide her into His truths and teach her of His love.
Happy Birthday Ella Mae! You are forever a reminder of Gods great love for us, and I pray that each day I can serve you and Daddy better than the day before!
(Ella Mae's birth story)
http://av8rswife.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-our-miracle-became-reality.html
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