Loving Women

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. ~John 1:5

I want to understand the world, to understand those who see things differently than me, to be able to listen without having to respond, to let someone share their heart without having to defend, to sit unshaken and securely in the truth while the world spews lies and hate, I just haven't figured out how to do that yet.  I went to San Francisco for the West Coast Walk for Life, in the hopes that my path could cross with hurting women who needed healing, to share the truth where lies are sold as candy, to stand firmly as a voice for the voiceless.  I had no idea what I was about to face, even though this was not my first time walking these streets for this event.  What I did discover is that the devil has turned San Francisco into his playground and that women are hurt and angry and most of them have no idea why.

Everyone has an opinion, and no one is interested in hearing what anyone else has to say.  There is no chance that anyone could ever convince me that abortion is OK, not for any reason.  I know that murder is wrong, I know that the unborn is fully human and therefore taking his/her life is murder.  I know that women who experience abortion deal with pain and harm to their bodies and their emotions.  I know that killing someone will never right a wrong that has been done to you.  I know that no matter your circumstances they cant be fixed by ending an innocent life.  I know that abortion hurts women and that women have been lied to.  I discovered as I read vulgar signs that proclaim women desire not to be defined by their lady parts at the same time demanding that their lady parts define them, show the utter confusion we as women have fallen into.

Women are by nature the softer sex.  We are emotional, we are passionate, we are nurtures and we are our very own worst enemy.  Modern day feminism is a destroyer of women.  We are so busy trying to prove that we can do everything a man can do, that we have forgotten who we are.  Abortion is the true war on women.  It tells women that they are not strong enough, not brave enough, not capable enough to get through anything they face.  Abortion is a denial of our very womanhood.  Women are created able to do something men cannot do, carry life.  So now women are telling other women that to get ahead we need to destroy the one part of ourselves that is different from men, but our ability to be mothers in a strength not a weakness!

There is no such thing as casual sex, sex is by its very nature a mind, body, and soul melding of two people and it has one and only one biological design, to create life!  If you are having sex you are choosing to engage in an activity designed to cause pregnancy, period!  Women, you are better than the one night stand that leaves you feeling broken the next morning.  I know the hardship of this lie, I chose this broken path for a short period of my younger years and with each one night stand I felt more alone.  I say that out loud because I think it is important to know that my heart is authentic, I have been down the road that these feminists claim brings empowerment, but it only brings bondage! That lifestyle is nothing more than a lie and it will spit you out and leave you on the roadside, often times pregnant and scared.

What I think shook me to the core at the West Coast Walk for Life was not the fact that hundreds of thousands of women came to march for the Women's March with their vulgar signs, dressed as vagina's, and shouting for abortion on demand, but the fact that these women have drawn a line in the sand.  I am the enemy because I do not believe that killing our babies makes us stronger as women.  I am the enemy because I do not feel like a victim.  I am the enemy because I serve a loving and forgiving God who dictates the way I should live.  What I saw on the streets was mother against daughter, sister against sister, friend against friend.  Women have a real ability to join up and readily reject and attack anyone who threatens them and our group of 50,000 peaceful and prayerful pro-life advocates were most definitely a threat to them.  My heart broke.  It was like being rejected back in school all over again.  I was rejected on principle.  No one had any interest to sit and talk, to bring about discussion so that we could understand one another and find solutions.  The line was drawn and if you stood on the wrong side of it you were officially kicked out of the woman's club.  As a pro-life advocate I am completely for women, all women, and I fight for them even if they don't understand it!

I looked at little girls dressed up in pink hats with signs saying "hands off my pussy" and my heart hurt for them, that one day they might realize that they are lucky to be alive, that their mother who is championing beside them for abortion on demand without apology, could have decided that their lives did not fit her agenda.  I am first born after my mothers abortion, my sibling didn't make it but I am very grateful that I did.  I don't say these things to be harsh but the reality is that 1 in every 4 mother has had an abortion so most of us are very lucky to be alive and even more so are the children of women who believe abortion is a right that they protect with out apology.

I had the privilege of spending my weekend with teammates from whom, I draw so much comfort and strength but especially with the two teenagers.  These young girls give me hope.  Their hearts were still so very sensitive to the injustices around.  I watched them hurt, I watched them fear, I watched them celebrate.  These young ladies faced a side of women they had never seen before and they stood before an evil they had never experienced.  They were true warriors as they were visually assaulted with offensives signs and slogans and screams from angry protesters.  I loved being with them, praying over them, walking beside them.  I love them and I know that they will carry the torch long after my life has ended, and their generation will be followed by my daughters generation.

The biggest problem that is becoming so apparent is that the lies have preceded the truth for so long that it is an uphill battle to get the truth in front of the lies.  "Its my body, its my choice" "Its nothing more than a procedure, like getting your nails done" "just take a pill and it will all be over."  Trying to reduce abortion to a spa day is a lie.  There is nothing casual about ending a life.  It should never be casual to kill another person.  This is a serious matter because we are not talking about "your" body, we are talking about the person you are carrying.  There are emotional ramifications that come from ending a life.  There are physical ramifications that come from having a baby torn from your body.  This is not casual, this is not moral, abortion is not to be taken lightly.

I have racked my brain and have never found an ethical, logical, and factual response to the statement;
"I support the killing of over 125,000 innocent unborn babies worldwide each day because......"

The truth is that there is not an ethical, logical, and factual excuse to kill an unborn baby.  There are only emotional responses, and emotions are not an acceptable reason to end a life.  Emotions are what drive crimes of passion and murder, emotions are what fuel fear and hate, emotions are not logical, they do not retain moral boundaries, emotions are subjective and lives should never be taken under these conditions.

If I discovered anything on this trip to San Francisco is that the only way to end abortion, the only way to make abortion unthinkable is to pray, pray, pray!  This is a spiritual war, the enemy loves abortion.  There is no question in my mind that abortion is the devils very favorite lie.  You see if the devil can convince a society that not only is abortion acceptable but that it is a right then the devil will own that society.

My amazing friend text me something that really helped me as I poured my broken heart out to her, she said "You cant help someone who doesn't want it.  You can be there, but there is an innate openness needed for that, even if it's just a crack."

She is right, there are going to be times where hearts are simply closed to what I am trying to bring to the table, and in that case I must continue on to the next person that God wants me to reach.  I will not let the bumps in the road throw me off track.  There are many places where women are desperately seeking help and healing and those are the places I will go.  In countries like Fiji women are being forced to abort by friends and family because no one is talking about abortion and they don't know where to turn.  We have become a beacon of hope for those women and they are reaching out to us increasingly.  I will trust the Lord to lead me to those in need so that I can continue to serve women who are ready to be served and I will pray for hearts to be opened in my home country so that I can make a difference in even one life next year when I return to the streets of San Francisco to march again for all women, for all life, for love, for hope, for healing, and for truth.

Growing Faith

God is always refining me, He is always stretching my faith. Sometimes I make it through a trial without losing my cool and other times I fall very far short. This last trial was extremely stressful for me, and I lost my cool in major ways a few times, but the moment I truly surrendered my heart He answered me immediately! I actually felt a touch of relief as I realized that I was finally letting go! 

God you are so amazing and I give you all of the glory!

We have been going through the visa process and it was down to the wire and I was writing in my prayer journal:

1)Why do I want to be in Fiji? Because I love the ministry that God has put before me.

2)If God brought us here for His purpose can anyone other than me in my own free will 

change his plan? No

3)So the only way we leave is if God has somewhere else for us to be? yes

4)Would you you go if God called you elsewhere? yes

SO WHY WORRY!

1 Peter 3:12-13

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good?

This was my quiet time today and as I let it all sink in I prayed "I know the visas are going to come, I just hate the waiting." This time when I prayed my heart was different, I truly believed it, I knew it was going to happen, I knew I just had to let it go and the very moment this prayer was sent, I mean the very second it happened I got a text from Ryan telling me the Visas were here. God is so amazingly faithful! I wish that I had held on in faith from start to finish but I am happy that He gave me a few days to try again and that I was able to finally surrender and find His peace before the approval came through!

There are many people of great faith, I want to be one of those people! Today I was reading about the centurion who had amazing faith and because of it his servant was healed. (Luke 7:4-10) My biggest struggle is truly taking hold in faith and not letting my emotions win the battle. I am impossible to be around when I worry and I know that I am not supposed to worry so then I get mad at myself for worrying and then I spiral into a mess. God keeps giving me these trials and I think little by little I am learning to hang on just a little bit longer. I want my faith to grow and faith can't grow unless it is tested!

This week on top of the waiting for visas there has been so much going on. Ryan has been gone basically since Christmas, Star got sick and needed medicine, I got a flat tire, Ella Mae is at the end of her summer break and we are butting heads, I am having to run in the heat of the day, I got bit by a dog, got a tetanus shot (ouch), chased by a dog, my dog got in a fight, and so on and so on. I've been heavily immersed in life, because you know what this is life! Every single one of us faces life each day. I want to find my peace again, and that peace cannot be found in the struggle of life but in the quiet time with God. I will continue to seek Him, draw near to Him, trust Him and be thankful for the continuous grace that He showers me with. This week, it has not been pretty, but my husband extended me grace far beyond what I deserved, it was so beautiful. My friends have been sending me uplifting and encouraging words not even knowing how much I was hurting and struggling.  

You see, that is the God I serve. He sends people to you when you need it, He hears you and He responds. This week God seemed silent to me, but looking back I realize that He came down and literally touched me in my physical life by sending people to me when I most needed them. To serve a God so loving, compassionate, and kind is without a doubt the greatest blessing in my life. I don't want to live one second outside of His grace and mercy, and you know what, the truth is that its not living if you are trying to get by without God.

To top it all off God showered us today with some very unexpected blessings and He has provided in more ways then I can count. He didn't just get us through, He went above that and I am so in awe of His loving kindness! To God be the glory, honor and praise!

I pray that next time my faith is stretched to the finish!

Tsunami of life

On January 4th in the morning a 7.2 earthquake hit near the Fiji Islands, it was an offshore quake and was about 227 kilometers SW of Nadi and about 10 kilometers deep.  This in turn caused a tsunami warning for Fiji, a warning that most of us knew nothing about...

On this Wednesday morning I had decided to take some quiet time on the beach.  In addition to my Bible study time each day I want to spend more time withdrawing into "lonely" places to have quiet time with the Lord.  I decided last minute to take my quiet time at Wailoaloa beach.  There were many families on the beach, so I walked down pretty far so that I could hear only the gentle crash of the waves and the sounds of the wind in the palm trees.  I sat down, took my shoes off, closed my eyes and started to pray.  My heart has been unsettled since I returned to Fiji, there is just so much going on and I haven't taken the time I needed to really sit quietly before the Lord, so I was relieved to be there, alone with Him.  He spoke to my heart and I felt the weight lifted of some burdens I had been carrying.  It was a truly good time silent before the Lord.  As my quiet time ended I began getting texts from my family in the US checking to be sure I was OK, asking if I knew there was an earthquake and a tsunami warning.  I was a bit shocked, I had felt nothing but I assumed it was an offshore earthquake and I heard no sirens or any warnings of a tsunami.  There were quite a few people gathered at the beach all none the wiser.  I looked for information and found that most of the alerts for the 11:45 wave were issued no earlier than 11:58 which would have been far to late had a wave arrived.

I returned to my car and went home, honestly thinking very little of it.  But as time pressed on my eyes were opened to what was kept from our shores.  God spoke to my heart about how we don't know what is just beyond our vision, we don't know what is just around the corner, we don't know when our last breath will be.  The picture above is one I took of the calm ocean I sat before as my family text me.  As I look at it, it reminds me that we don't have the big picture, we can't see beyond the horizon, but God can!

My friend Fi told me that God showed her an Angel holding back the wave, that we were protected and spared to awaken us to the moment, so that we would see that the hour is near and just like this wave that we were not expecting, God will bring us home in the blink of an eye.  We cannot be sleeping, we need to be vigilant and ready!  We need to be a strong voice of truth in the dying world.

The more God talks to me about the tsunami the more I see also how much of a provider He is!  How many "tsunamis" does He hold back from us without us ever knowing?  When I'm frustrated because I'm late but just cant seem to get out the door is it possible that He is protecting me from an accident? The unanswered prayer that you desperately desire but seems to be rejected, is it possible He has something better planned for you?  Time and time again as a Christian I am reminded that I truly must be willing to fall into His arms and trust Him, that He knows the wave headed my way and He will bring me through it.  When we get hit with a "tsunami" in life, it may feel like we are being forgotten and forsaken but we can be sure that is not the case.

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Is life always going to be easy, OF COURSE NOT!  Are bad things going to happen, yes, that is part of life.  But we can be sure that God will never leave us through it all.  Everything may not happen for a reason, but nothing happens that God does not know about.  He will provide for you during the struggle if you just trust in Him.  There are so many "tsunamis" in life, they sneak up on us and take us out like a freight train.  They have very little warning and the devastation can seem catastrophic, the death of a loved one, a job loss, an illness.  These things can bring us to our knees, but God is there with us, He truly cares for us and wants to walk with us as we recover.

I saw the best quote yesterday from Toby Mac's Speak Life page;
"So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.  You're doing great."

Thank you God for holding back the tsunami, for protecting our lives here in Fiji, and for opening our eyes to bigger things.  Help us to rise in truth and to remember that we do not know the hour at which you will return.  We must be living every second for You and the purpose You have put on our lives, to reach out to the lost and broken.