2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
I had the privilege and honor of being invited to speak at The Raising Sisters Conference in Fiji this weekend. Raising Sisters has a powerful vision for the women of the South Pacific and the entire conference was a true blessing! My precious Pastors wife, Bui, asked me nearly a year ago if I would speak on abortion during the conference and as much as public speaking terrifies me I knew that I had to say yes. Last week I began fasting and praying and seeking guidance. I prepared my speech and printed it out and practiced it. I was ready for all intensive purposes, but I had NO IDEA what God had planned, He was probably laughing at me as I practiced that well scripted speech……
I’m actually an introverted person. I get overwhelmed by large groups and although I like to talk, I struggle with engaging so many people at social events like a women's conference. That first night a beautiful woman of God got up and spoke a powerful message that really touched me at the core. It was beautiful, it was powerful, and I was inspired. As I drove home for the night I couldn't hold back the tears as the enemy began his brutal attack. “who do you think you are, why would these women even listen to you? You aren’t a pastor, you aren’t an expert, you are nobody!” By the time I got home I was shattered. Who was I to think I could stand up and talk to these women about abortion! Who qualified me?
Ryan, who is my rock and spiritual warrior sat up with me as I poured my fears out to him, he listened and encouraged me and as we spoke God answered. “Who are you? You are the daughter of the most High God. I rescued you from your broken mess of a life for this purpose! Who qualified you? I DID! This is who you were born to be!”
I finally fell to sleep recognizing that the enemy had tried to break me down but God had great purpose for this weekend, and He had a plan for me!
The next day the spiritual feeding continued through these amazing speakers and I felt my faith growing and growing. The more our precious speakers spoke the more I couldn't help but smile as I realized that God was knitting together all of our speaking points. None of us knew each other, none of us had any idea what the others were going to speak about and yet all of it was flowing together! God is so amazing! By the end of the second day I was floating on Gods presence. The messages I had received were clear. Take it to the next level, get out of my comfort zone and leap into faith. NO LIMITS! I prayed as I drove home, “alright God, I will not use my speech, I will go up there empty so you can speak and pour out of me into these women.”
The morning of my day to speak arrived and I went for a run to spend time preparing my heart for what was coming. As I ran my eyes were being pulled to the clouds. There was something about them and I couldn't look away. As I watched the cloud transformed into the dark face of the devil. I silently asked God why He was showing me the enemy and almost right them the cloud shifted and an enormous eagle appeared. Its wings were stretched wide, its tail fanned out over the earth, its head cocked to one side scanning the land below. I stopped right there and dropped to a knee on the side of the road thanking God for His presence. I prayed for a few moments and then felt released to continue my run. As I ran I realized that sometimes we live thinking that the enemy rules over our lives from above, but HE DOESN’T! He has no authority over us! He scrambles around causing chaos in the earth but he does not see all and he does not know all. God is like the eagle, he owns the sky, he can see everything from a greater perspective. He guards over us from above and he knows every move the cunning enemy makes. God is able to swoop in and destroy the devil at the perfect time.
As I arrived to the conference my heart was overwhelmed, I was terrified. I was getting ready to speak to 200 women about a very sensitive topic, abortion, and I had decided to not use my notes. I continued to pray that as I trusted God He would fill me with His words. I folded into His presence as I listened to the speakers who were before me and then it was my time. I can tell you this much. GOD DELIVERED! I have never spoken out of the overflow of the Spirit before, but I did in that hour. The Holy Spirit took over and I mean completely took over. The words flowed smoothly and with powerful purpose. I have no idea what I said, but I could feel the passion pouring out of me! God spoke to those beautiful women, He reached their broken places, He delivered some of them from their secret shames and He broke down bondage! God knew what they needed and He filled them, igniting passion for their daughters and sisters, giving them courage and boldness for their women and the precious unborn. God lit a fire that will not soon be extinguished. After I prayed over women who were being delivered from their past abortions, repeat miscarriages, and attempted abortions I had no energy left but to sit in my chair and cry. My heart wept in thankfulness and other emotions that I haven’t really experienced. I’ve asked God to keep breaking my heart for what breaks His and He has been doing that. The leadership team then prayed a powerful prayer of blessing over Ryan and myself and the LIFE Runners ministry.
While there was prayer going on inside the conference Ryan, Ella Mae and I took a little walk. I just felt like I needed to just get outside for a minute. I felt bad for being outside, but I just felt like I needed to stay outside for another minute. Right then we noticed a little girl in the pool. She seemed to be swimming but something just didn't feel right. I asked her “are you swimming” and she didn't answer, and I noticed that she was starting to go under. It took my brain a minute to realize what was happening, but she had fallen in and was drowning. I jumped in and pulled her out just as she went under. She was breathing and had taken on some water in her lungs but was coughing it up. If we hadn't been there she would have drown, there were no other adults anywhere near at that moment, only other children. My heart is still so very overwhelmed by that fact. Inside the Holy Spirit was moving mightily and the enemy was outside trying to harm a child, but God knew it and sent my family to be in the right place at the right time. I stood there soaked and the reality sunk in as the mother took her child to the doctor to be sure she was ok. I crumpled into a pile of tears. I was so thankful for God using me again, for putting me and Ryan right where we needed to be to protect this life.
In church this morning I was quietly waiting on the Lord and He spoke to me that now I needed to understand that my call was one concerning life and death. In the same way that I needed to be where God put me at the moment the young child was drowning, God would be putting my family in the path of people who needed Him right at that moment. Our obedience to respond and go without question was now a life and death matter, be it physical for a baby on its way to being aborted or spiritual for someone walking a dark and broken path. I had prayed for the next level and I know that I will be ready for it because God equips us and provides for our needs, but until that moment I had never considered the gravity of my obedience/disobedience. With tears flowing down my face I committed to go when called and to not hesitate no matter how scary.
The conference finished out strong and Ryan and I received another powerful prayer of spiritual gifts and prophetic promises over the ministry and our family. I have never felt more depleted and more full! God is so good! Mighty doors have been opened, and the enemy wont be able to shut them! How many lives will be saved as women join united for LIFE, I may never know, but I know that I asked God to take me to the next level and He is and I am ready! It’s time to stop sitting back and making plans, it’s time to just step up and do it! There is no turning back now, LIFE Runners in Fiji will be unstoppable because God has a plan and we will go wherever He calls!
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