I'm stubborn, ask Ryan, ask anyone who truly knows me, I AM STUBBORN! This means that when God asks me to do something that I really think I know better on, I like to work out a deal. Well God doesn't do deals, and since I have submitted to His will, that means He gets His way even if He has to get stern.
This week the church was called to fast. I didn't want to fast, I wanted to run. God said fast. I gave in and cut a deal. I would fast but I would still run 2 miles every day, fearing that stopping this far in my marathon training would be detrimental. Sometimes I don't even make sense to myself. God, who called me to train for this race, who has helped me train every mile, was now asking me to rest and yet I thought I knew better.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I fasted and ran my two miles but on Wednesday I stated itching for distance so I ran 3. Then God put his foot down. I got sick. Not kind of sick, but fever sick. I was not even able to entertain the notion of running. God had my attention. Now was time to rest. I continued on my fast, seeking God in time a prayer and study as I had been doing all week long. I realized that I was under a faith test aside from my running. In the weakness and fatigue of fasting the enemy was testing me, he was trying to hurt me, trying to discourage me, trying to put me back into bondage of fear and doubt. But God had called me to be still by allowing me to be sick and in that stillness I was able to see that I was being tested. My faith was being tested and I rejoiced as I saw that clearly!
I was then able to hold onto the promises that God had put before me, the reassurance that He had given me in the past, and all of the ways He had affirmed that I was on the right path. God drew me back near to Him and the sorrow, the fear, the doubt, it all lifted. The weight was lifted from my shoulders! God reminded me that He had a plan and a purpose and that He would help me to reach the goals he had set. I just needed to have faith. When He saw my faith wavering He allowed me to get sick so I could stop taking control and start listening.
Today my fast was lifted and I am nearly well. I was able to run 4 miles with the LIFE Runners this morning at an amazing pace and I will be refreshed and ready for my long run on Monday. I am thankful that God didn't allow my stubbornness to get in the way of the help He was offering, in the lesson I was learning. Had I kept running I may have been injured, had I kept running I may have been too surrounded by noise that I missed how God was delivering me through the trial and increasing my faith. Thank you God for this flu, it was a blessing!
I know that because God is the director of my life, that nothing I put my hand to that is for Him and of Him will fail. I will be able to do more than I ever imagined for His kingdom. It was foolish of me to think that I knew better than God, that taking a week off to rest my tired body wasn't part of His training plan. Help me Lord to listen the first time, help me to not resist when You are trying to help me. Forgive me when I do resist and continue to direct me into Your plan regardless of my stubbornness. Your will Lord, Your way, ALWAYS!
Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen
This week the church was called to fast. I didn't want to fast, I wanted to run. God said fast. I gave in and cut a deal. I would fast but I would still run 2 miles every day, fearing that stopping this far in my marathon training would be detrimental. Sometimes I don't even make sense to myself. God, who called me to train for this race, who has helped me train every mile, was now asking me to rest and yet I thought I knew better.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I fasted and ran my two miles but on Wednesday I stated itching for distance so I ran 3. Then God put his foot down. I got sick. Not kind of sick, but fever sick. I was not even able to entertain the notion of running. God had my attention. Now was time to rest. I continued on my fast, seeking God in time a prayer and study as I had been doing all week long. I realized that I was under a faith test aside from my running. In the weakness and fatigue of fasting the enemy was testing me, he was trying to hurt me, trying to discourage me, trying to put me back into bondage of fear and doubt. But God had called me to be still by allowing me to be sick and in that stillness I was able to see that I was being tested. My faith was being tested and I rejoiced as I saw that clearly!
I was then able to hold onto the promises that God had put before me, the reassurance that He had given me in the past, and all of the ways He had affirmed that I was on the right path. God drew me back near to Him and the sorrow, the fear, the doubt, it all lifted. The weight was lifted from my shoulders! God reminded me that He had a plan and a purpose and that He would help me to reach the goals he had set. I just needed to have faith. When He saw my faith wavering He allowed me to get sick so I could stop taking control and start listening.
Today my fast was lifted and I am nearly well. I was able to run 4 miles with the LIFE Runners this morning at an amazing pace and I will be refreshed and ready for my long run on Monday. I am thankful that God didn't allow my stubbornness to get in the way of the help He was offering, in the lesson I was learning. Had I kept running I may have been injured, had I kept running I may have been too surrounded by noise that I missed how God was delivering me through the trial and increasing my faith. Thank you God for this flu, it was a blessing!
I know that because God is the director of my life, that nothing I put my hand to that is for Him and of Him will fail. I will be able to do more than I ever imagined for His kingdom. It was foolish of me to think that I knew better than God, that taking a week off to rest my tired body wasn't part of His training plan. Help me Lord to listen the first time, help me to not resist when You are trying to help me. Forgive me when I do resist and continue to direct me into Your plan regardless of my stubbornness. Your will Lord, Your way, ALWAYS!
Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen
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