The Gift of the Flu

I'm stubborn, ask Ryan, ask anyone who truly knows me, I AM STUBBORN!  This means that when God asks me to do something that I really think I know better on, I like to work out a deal.  Well God doesn't do deals, and since I have submitted to His will, that means He gets His way even if He has to get stern.

This week the church was called to fast.  I didn't want to fast, I wanted to run.  God said fast.  I gave in and cut a deal.  I would fast but I would still run 2 miles every day, fearing that stopping this far in my marathon training would be detrimental.  Sometimes I don't even make sense to myself.  God, who called me to train for this race, who has helped me train every mile, was now asking me to rest and yet I thought I knew better.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I fasted and ran my two miles but on Wednesday I stated itching for distance so I ran 3.  Then God put his foot down.  I got sick.  Not kind of sick, but fever sick.  I was not even able to entertain the notion of running.  God had my attention.  Now was time to rest.  I continued on my fast, seeking God in time a prayer and study as I had been doing all week long.  I realized that I was under a faith test aside from my running.  In the weakness and fatigue of fasting the enemy was testing me, he was trying to hurt me, trying to discourage me, trying to put me back into bondage of fear and doubt.  But God had called me to be still by allowing me to be sick and in that stillness I was able to see that I was being tested.  My faith was being tested and I rejoiced as I saw that clearly!

I was then able to hold onto the promises that God had put before me, the reassurance that He had given me in the past, and all of the ways He had affirmed that I was on the right path.  God drew me back near to Him and the sorrow, the fear, the doubt, it all lifted.  The weight was lifted from my shoulders!  God reminded me that He had a plan and a purpose and that He would help me to reach the goals he had set.  I just needed to have faith.  When He saw my faith wavering He allowed me to get sick so I could stop taking control and start listening.

Today my fast was lifted and I am nearly well.  I was able to run 4 miles with the LIFE Runners this morning at an amazing pace and I will be refreshed and ready for my long run on Monday.  I am thankful that God didn't allow my stubbornness to get in the way of the help He was offering, in the lesson I was learning.  Had I kept running I may have been injured, had I kept running I may have been too surrounded by noise that I missed how God was delivering me through the trial and increasing my faith.  Thank you God for this flu, it was a blessing!

I know that because God is the director of my life, that nothing I put my hand to that is for Him and of Him will fail.  I will be able to do more than I ever imagined for His kingdom.  It was foolish of me to think that I knew better than God, that taking a week off to rest my tired body wasn't part of His training plan.  Help me Lord to listen the first time, help me to not resist when You are trying to help me.  Forgive me when I do resist and continue to direct me into Your plan regardless of my stubbornness.  Your will Lord, Your way, ALWAYS!

Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen 

Running with Faith

This morning was my longest run so far in my marathon training.  I was so excited I almost couldn't sleep (you would have to be a runner to understand how getting up at 4am to run for 3 hours could be exciting)!  I knew that it would be an awesome time with God, what I didn't know is that God was going to send me an unlikely running partner to teach me about faith and the way that Gods perfect plan can unfold in the most unlikely ways.

I noticed quite early on in my run that there was a tiny black shadow following me, normally this would have made me nervous but this beautiful little street dog who looked part doberman seemed more scared of me than anything else and I figured she would loose interest soon so I began talking to her and continued my run.

The funny thing is she didn't lose interest.  She stayed right on my heel mile after mile, never leaving my side except to move away when a bus came close or a man was near our path.  Like most street dogs of Fiji she had most likely been mistreated by people who were trying to shoo her away.  As we jogged along on a run that I had anticipated to be my hardest one yet, I was struck by how nice it was to have someone to run with.  In that moment I named her Faith.  God had sent me Faith, at first I thought it was to protect me, but as I watched her timidly respond to the world I knew that maybe I was to protect her.  For whatever reason that sweet little fur baby trusted me.

As we neared mile 8 of 15 I started to worry for her knowing that she was far from the places she was used to.  I knew that food was hard to come by for a street dog and she was using valuable energy to chase me all over Nadi, so I turned back and headed to McDonalds devising a plan.  At McDonalds I gave a young lady money and asked her to buy food for the Faith and then feed her so I could make my escape.  The girl agreed and I felt very clever.  As the girl tried to feed her I began to run away and there was Faith denying food to follow me.  I ran back, took the food and tried to feed her myself but she was so timid she would take it but then return to my side scared I was going to leave her.  I moved to a quiet place trying not to be frustrated that my run was being interrupted by this little dog. I finally got her to eat a bit of the burger and I tried to sneak away but there she was, again abandoning food to follow me.  I tried yelling at her but she just looked at me funny and waited.  Finally I gave up and we began our final 7 miles.

The entire run I was praying for God to take care of her, for him to send her away at the right time but mile after mile that sweet pup never gave up.  When other men or dogs intimidated her I encouraged her forward and her trust in me grew over our short time together.  I was probably the only person who had ever shown her kindness.  Her faith in me was astounding!

We were nearing the end of the run and I realized that God had certainly sent her to help me on this long run, to teach me a valuable lesson about faith, but to also encourage me.  That little dog melted my heart and filled some of the brokenness that has come from leaving our dogs behind.  As we finished out the last mile I took her along a back road to Animals Fiji, the only dog rescue in Fiji.  I knew it was time to trust her future to God.  She followed me into the compound and I surrendered her to the staff promising to pay for her spay and care until she could find a good home.  I hated to leave her but we are in no position to adopt her in our current living situation.

As I drove away crying God revealed to me so much of what I had just been part of....

Faith didn't know me at first, but for some reason she trusted me enough to follow me.  As we went further and further she saw me being kind to her and she trusted me.  Even when faced with temptation like food she chose to stick by me.  How often do we loose faith in God because something tempting comes our way? When I tried to intimidate her to make her turn back she just drew closer.  The devil often tries to intimidate us, to scare us away from Gods plan because we cannot see the big picture, but we must stay the course in faith knowing that the Lord has a great plan for us.

Faith trusted in me to help her.  In the end, because of her faith and endurance she will receive vet care to remove the ticks and fleas, she will be de-sexed to protect her from a life of litter after litter of puppies, she will be welcomed into a loving home and cared for hopefully for the rest of her life.  I wish I had her faith in all things!

Now was my time to have faith.  As I desperately wanted to bring her home and cried knowing I couldn't, God reassured me not to fear.  To trust Faith to Him, after all he had brought us together for a purpose and we had both done our part, I needed to rest in faith that He would continue to care for her.  We returned to pay for her care and snap a picture of her sweet face and she was trembling in the kennel until she saw me and then began to wag her tail.  I told her amazing running story to the women working and reassured Faith that she was going to be OK.  As we were leaving I was in tears and then I received a text from an acquaintance.  I had text him telling him of my rescue puppy and knowing they had lost a dog recently wondered if they wanted Faith.  His answer......YES!  Praise God, He loves the details.  The man and his family will see if Faith is OK around children and if she is she will be in a forever home out on a farm! **I have been told that the family will be taking Faith, they decided shortly after I posted this**

Today I ran with Faith, and God grew my faith.  I may not understand everything and sometimes it is painful to surrender, but God always finishes what he starts!