The Cup that Wont Run Dry

I have a healthy fear of long/early runs that fall on the weekend.  The bars here close at 4am and so right when I am running through town in the dark the roads can be covered with intoxicated men, and for a woman that is a bit uncomfortable.  I trust in the Lord and pray as I go, I'm smart about it and stay very alert to my surroundings.

This morning as I passed through one of the very popular club areas there were about 20-30 drunk people just having been kicked out of the club gathered all over the sidewalks and parking lot.  I jogged passed and my heart began to hurt for them.  Fiji has a bit of a "party" problem going on right now and the police are trying to figure out how to best solve the issues that are arising.

I thought back to not so long ago in my life where I was one of these drunken people stumbling out of the club.  My heart grew heavier as I wanted to desperately scream to them that no amount of alcohol would fill the void they were trying to fill, I knew, I had been there.  It's hard to be on the other side of addiction and not want to offer pearls of wisdom to those stumbling in the dark.  It's hard to have the key to happiness in your hand and to not want to share it with those who are struggling.  The empty faces I saw, the couples arguing, the ones too wasted to walk, the ones being taken away by the police, the ones on their way to a one night stand, the ones who would just go home and be completely consumed by the emptiness they had so desperately tried to fill the night before with endless booze, I wanted them to know there was something more.

Addiction, It's not a fun word.  It's not a word we like to use because it makes us sound weak.  I spent much of my 20's moving from one addiction to another.  I tried to fill the emptiness with food, with cigarettes, with sex, with alcohol, with anything that made me feel alive for a few minutes.  What I found was that the more I drank, the more I partied, the deeper that pit of darkness grew beneath me.  Finally one day I woke up and could no longer see the top.  I was consumed by what I had tried to be filled with.  I was more damaged, more broken then when I had started.  What I needed was to fill the void, not be buried by it.  In that dark time when my drinking had consumed me and brought me to a  desperate place, a gentle voice reached down to me, offering to fill me, to comfort me, to quench my thirst and calm my hunger.   The light shone into the dark place of my creation and He delivered me.  God didn't leave me in my sin, He didn't let it destroy me, He reached down to me and gave me a choice.  I could continue burying myself in the darkness attempting to fill the un-fillable void in my heart, or I could grab onto God, repent of my sinful ways, and let God fill me and make me whole!  I chose God and I can tell you that there is not a day that goes by that I have regretted my choice.  These things that had been pouring into my life for a decade, that I thought would fill me only broke me, but God fills me until I overflow and my heart is glad.  I can honestly say that I am happy, fulfilled, joyful.  I don't need to party to feel those things.  I am alive because God has filled me with His passion, His will, His desires.

I want that for everyone.  It's hard sometimes to see others struggle, I've been there, I don't want anyone to be left there.  God doesn't either.  He is the light calling us, He wants us to come as we are so He can show us who we were meant to be.  God doesn't deny us the pleasures of life, He shows us the true pleasure of life comes from complete surrender to Him.  I am satisfied in all things, I never thought I would say that, but I am.  I don't need more of anything except Him.

Even after I was set free from my drinking I stumbled back into my old habit of eating to fill the void.  Only earlier this year did God really convict me on my gluttony and broke the bonds it has had over my entire life.  It wasn't an easy battle, actually it has been harder to let go of food than I ever imagined, but by the grace of God I will overcome.  I have to watch that my fitness doesn't come before God as it did in the beginning.  I am thankful that God redirected me to use fitness for His kingdom, and I love serving him for LIFE Runners.  Every day God shows me when I start to try to fill up on things other than Him.  Occasionally I will put all my needs on my husband, but that is an impossible expectation for him to fill, that place is meant for God.  Sometimes my daughter becomes most important, but she was never meant to be number one in my life.  Even the ministry God put in my heart will try to overtake, but if God is not first, that ministry has no purpose.

As I ran by those people who were seeking to fill emptiness I did a gut check.  My eyes were opened to new ways that I am not giving God the first fruits in my life.  I am not spending enough time in the word to grow as the leader I am called to be.  I need to dedicate the first and best of my day to prayer and seeking His wisdom.  Now I must offer those issues up to God and change my direction.  That's the thing about a relationship with God, you are never done growing.  There are always more things to learn and new ways to grow.

This song we sang today at church about covers the way I feel now that Jesus is my center, the only filling I need!  I will just share the verses that really speak powerfully to me.

"Your Presence is Heaven"

Who is like You Lord in all the earth?
Matchless love and beauty, endless worth
Nothing in this world could satisfy
'Cause Jesus you're the cup that won't run dry

Your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me

Treasure of my heart and of my soul
In my weakness you are merciful
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs
Holder of my future days to come

Your presence is heaven to me
Your presence is heaven to me
Heaven to me, God

All my days on earth I will await
The moment that I see You face to face
Nothing in this world could satisfy
'Cause Jesus you're the cup that won't run dry


God wants to be our everything.  We were designed by Him, for Him, and the only way to feel complete is to be with Him.  I pray that He always stays near to me, correcting me when I start to stumble off course.  I don't ever want to live my life apart from him as I did in my young adult years. He is my cup, and He satisfies my every need.

Psalm 16:5
LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;  you make my lot secure.

Stumble....

The other day I was running, and I was having a rough time.  This is always very frustrating to me because I tend to only struggle on some of my short runs, which makes no sense to me since I run much farther distances without trouble.  As I was struggling to push forward and finish a modest 10K I started to focus on all of the things that I was having a hard time with.  I was tired, I was sore, I was not motivated, it was hot, I was thirsty, the list went on and on.  Then I made a very big mistake, I stopped focusing on anything but my "mountains" I took my eyes off the road, and more importantly I took my eyes off of God.  At that moment I stumbled and rolled my ankle on the uneven ground.  I am thankful that God kept me standing and I was able to keep running without injury, but God got my attention!

As I ran gently until my ankle felt normal again I was praying fervently for protection from injury.  My marathon is just around the corner and a silly fall like that is enough to ruin months of training.  I realized that my eyes had moved from God to my struggles.  I also realized that this run was no different than the times in my life where I forgot that God was fighting for me, that I was not alone.  I pray for the wisdom to always keep my eyes fixed on the Lord.  I pray that I won't become distracted by the struggles and trials of this life.  In the past, when I have taken my eyes off of God and my focused shifted to my problems, I have been brought to my knees.  I was never meant to deal with them on my own.  God wants to carry my burdens, He wants to move mountains for me.  He wants me to look to him for miracles instead of looking to myself in doubt.  He wants me to have faith in him to see the impossible become possible.  He wants to keep me from stumbling, to protect me from falling.

My eyes must remain firmly fixed on God or I will get swept away by the world.  I was never meant to do these things on my own.  When God called me to serve Him, He didn't turn around and leave me, He walks with me, He shows me the way, He opens the doors.  God gives us His vision, He puts His ministry on our hearts if we are willing.  He never asks us to do it alone, and the truth is that if we tried to do it alone we would fail without a doubt.  With my eyes fixed on him there is no mountain that cant be moved, there is no obstacle that cant be conquered.  We all face trials in life, but those trials are meant to make us stronger by reminding us to lean on God and trust in Him no matter what the circumstance.  Jesus loves us so much that He died for us, He cares for us in all that we face.  Thank you God for reminding me to look to you!

Psalm141:8
But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD;  in you I take refuge-do not give me over to death.

Psalm 61:3
For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield;  my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.

John 10:11
"I am the good shepherd.  The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

Promises

Luke 24:6-8
"He is not here; he has risen!  Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee:  'The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'"  Then they remembered.

Today as I sit and read my Bible, I am reminded of something that I often lose sight of.  Just as the women at the tomb FORGOT the promises of Jesus, I forget the promises He has spoken. God has made me beautiful promises, and those promises will come to pass because God does not break His word.  It's so easy for me to fall into fear, doubt, or worry when things don't go the way I had hoped or planned, but the truth is that God does not leave us ever and He has a plan and purpose over everything.  We need to hold onto His promises.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

A promise, a mighty promise that there is no need to fear because God is with me and will give me the strength to get through anything.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, " Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

A promise that God has a plan over my life and that no matter what may come His perfect purpose will cover me.  This verse was given to me by a stranger straight from God at a key point in my faith journey, when I was still struggling with letting go of my past and trusting God with my future.  Since the day I said "yes" to God He has NEVER let me down.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

The most amazing promise.  All we have to do is confess to God that we are sinners and that we need Him and He will remove our transgressions from us.  We are simply saved by a promise, by grace through faith in Jesus Christ!

Proverbs 18:10
The name of the LORD is a fortified tower;  the righteous run to it and are safe.

A promise that God is watching over us, and that he will protect us.  This does not mean that nothing bad will ever happen to us, however, but it means that we can draw into Him and He will help us through all that we face.  The name of Jesus has power to bring comfort, encouragement, hope, and peace when everything else seems to fall apart.

Isaiah 25:8
he will swallow up death forever.  The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces;  he will remove his peoples disgrace from all the earth.  The Lord has spoken.

A promise that when we accept the Salvation that comes from the sinless life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ we are made brand new.  We don't have to fear death because we will spend eternity in heaven.  Our mourning over sin will end because our sin has been removed from us.  Our shame is gone, we are righteous in the sight of God!

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A promise that if we choose to reject God and continue in sin that we will die and spend eternity in complete absence of God (hell), BUT the free gift of salvation through Christ gives us eternal life!

Romans 8:39
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A powerful promise, that NOTHING can separate God from his beloved children.  That once you are His you cannot be taken from Him.  When Jesus lives in our hearts we are His for eternity!

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

A promise that those who seek him, truly seek him will be rewarded.  We must have faith in God to accomplish all that He desires from us, we cannot serve Him or know Him without faith.

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

A promise that reminds us that salvation is a gift from God, it cant be earned.  It is freely given.  No amount of works will get you into heaven, nothing you could do or not do will get you into heaven.  By faith you must accept the free gift through Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

A promise that, although, discipline is painful it will produce righteousness when we are trained by it.  We are not disciplined because God wants to harm us, but He wants to make us who we were meant to be, to mold us and shape us.

Revelations 3:20
Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

A promise that God is seeking us out, Jesus is knocking at our the door of our hearts!  We aren't chasing some unreachable god, we are being pursued by God who loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us!  All we have to do is open the door and let Him in!

So many beautiful promises in the Bible, all of which you can be certain God will fulfill if only you put your life into His hands.  Being a Christian does not mean that your life will be easy, or without tragedy, but it does mean that we don't walk alone.  That we have a God who listens and cares for us, a God that we will spend eternity with, a God who left heaven to walk this broken earth so that we might spend eternity in heaven with Him.  I pray this Easter people will put away the bunny and start seeking the King....