Fullness of Joy

It is very rare in my life to stumble upon coincidence.  Maybe its because I truly believe in my heart that there is no such thing.  Since I have surrendered my life to God and asked him to direct my path, I fully understand that is exactly what he is doing.  There is peace and joy when we truly embrace this concept and allow God to lead.  Unfortunately during this process trials are expected and often come in wave upon wave, but I also know that these trials are meant to strengthen not to destroy.  God wants to refine us, to break down the flesh that stands against him and he wants us to draw deeper into him and his perfect will every single day.  I certainly try for this, but I'm very willing to admit that I fail more than I succeed.  Praise God he never gives up on me, but is actually the one who picks me up, dusts me off, and sets me back on the right path.

The two weeks Ryan was away at training were tough.  I found out about a visa problem that I didn't know existed right before he left, leaving me with no way to fix the problem except to have faith that it was being dealt with.  God was very aware of the issue and encouraged me along the way as I trusted in him.  Its hard for me to let go, a foreign concept for this control freak but I am learning piece by piece.  Then I hit a bus, which was only compounded by my husband being out of country.  Yes, everyone was fine, the bus was parked and I was being "bullied" by a big truck and I got to close to the bus.  Not the end of the world but still frustrating.  Then Ella Mae got very sick, twice, and my overwhelmed limit was nearing max, but in the end God provided and our health insurance came through.  Then Ryan was unable to come home due to flight cancellation and a family trip we had planned had to be postponed, not life ending but disappointing.  I made it through, sanity still intact, and my awesome hubby passed his base check and is now rated for his new plane!




We packed up and headed on our vacation.  It was going to be great and it was everything we hoped it would be.  A few days before we left my daily devotionals switched gear to "joy" and "restoring lost joy," my pastor even talked a bit about joy.  I know that when a theme like this starts building that it is in fact God talking to me and most often preparing me for a trial.  I was ready, no one was going to steal the joy that God had provided.  I understood that joy, the kind of joy that God provides for his people cannot come from my emotions, it can't be linked to how I feel, it has to be rooted in God.  I was about to get a real lesson on how little I really had accepted this concept, and now I know that I need to adjust my thinking.

As we headed out of town our full tank of gas stopped registering.  We were going to be driving a long distance to a place we had never been so the gas gauge was important.  I prayed, Ryan pulled over and restarted the car and it was fixed.  Back on the road again we enjoyed each others company and made it to the resort without problems.

We had the most amazing time, we had nothing but the sand, the ocean, and our family.  No TV, no Internet, just us and all the time in the world.  We took an awesome picnic lunch excursion where the hotel packed us a cooler full of food and water, drove us by boat to a nearby island that had an abandoned resort on it and a beautiful stretch of pristine beach surrounded by gorgeous coral reef.  They left us, alone, on this deserted piece of Gods beautiful planet and we were able to just relax and let go as a family.  Ella Mae played in the sand and had her adventures while Ryan fished and I snorkeled and explored the reef.  Although the visibility was not the best (incoming tide) it was still spectacular by the worlds standards and I just couldn't get over how many fish there were.  I have spent a bit of time exploring the reefs of Fiji and this one was outstanding and right off the beach.  Ryan even caught a juvenile Trevally.

By the time the boat came back to get us we were all completely enveloped in paradise.  I spent much of my time talking to God and thanking him for this much needed time away.  My joy was overflowing, not because I was surrounded by the worlds beauty, although that helped, but because God had given my family just what it had needed, some quiet time away.  Sometimes living in paradise you get so busy in daily life that you forget how amazing it is, and it is truly a must to step out of the day to day and be reminded of how blessed we are.  One day God will call us out of Fiji and take us somewhere new and I want to soak in this gift of time while we are here.  I love spending time an energy with the ministry God has placed on my heart, I love serving him in my daily life, and I am very thankful for these gifts he gives us when he calls us to rest in him and gives us a chance to recharge our batteries.

When we returned back to the resort I had a nagging desire to check my email.  I was unable to get onto the email through my iPad and was not willing to pay for Internet.  God kept telling me to let it go and to spend this time away from it all.  The nagging need to check my email was growing and growing, and I really had to start praying for peace.  I could clearly hear God telling me that if I checked my email that my joy would be stolen.  This of course made me worry what about my email might steel my joy.  God told me to trust him.  I was on my way to pay for Internet and I surrendered to God.  He was walking me through a trial that was keeping me from a bigger trial.  A day later I would see the big picture of it all.  So I trusted God, and placed my hope and joy back where it belonged, in my relationship with God and not my circumstances.

We ended the trip the next day and it was a flawless time of family and fellowship.

When we returned home I tried to check my email but we had no Internet.  I was finally able to load my email on my iPad and found 3 notices of no payment received for our Internet and that it was to be shut down.  I immediately got upset because I had payed the Internet on the 1st and so I went into my usual panic mode (joy gone) and we rushed to Nadi to fix the problem.  I never once stopped to pray, and I wish I had.  As we were driving I finally got through to the Internet company on the phone and they explained that it was a mistake and they reset my account.  We were able to turn the car around and head home.  As we drove home I reflected on it all.  If I had opened that email in Rakiraki it would have ruined my whole day because I would not have been able to call and would have been worried over it until we returned home.  God asked me to trust him by not falling for the bait, by not checking my email.  In the end I still didn't quite handle it the way that I should have, because I should have remained calm and trusted God, but I am a work in progress.  Because I trusted God at the resort I was able to avoid the drama.  I did see clearly that some of my "joy" is still linked to things of this world, my emotions, and circumstances.  Now I know that those are things I need to let God work on in me.  I love how he never stops working and revealing things.  One day I truly hope to have my fullness of joy come only from God and then it will be unshakable because God never fails us, he never leaves us, he never lets us down.

Psalm 16:11
You make known to me the path of life;  you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

My hope, my joy, my peace all must come from being eternally focused.  If we are focused on things of this world, or put our joy and hope in people we will eventually be let down.  To find true joy in God is to accept the gift he has given.  In salvation we find peace and freedom.  When we live our lives in the purpose he has given us then we can truly know joy because it comes from service.  Not in things we get or places we go, but in God and in His plan for our lives.  I don't know that I have ever actually known true joy until now, but I am starting to get a glimpse of it and I can tell you that I want more, because it is powerful when you find that your very purpose is in God and the service he calls you to.  Joy comes with closeness to God, the further you are from God the easier it is to lose your joy.  I want to draw as near to God as I can because I want joy!

Romans 14:17
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

Forget Karma, Find Forgiveness

Karma
:the force created by a person's actions that is believed in Hinduism and Buddhism to determine what that person's next life will be like

: the force created by a person's actions that some people believe causes good or bad things to happen to that person

I was pondering karma the other day.  I would say that 99% of the time when I hear people speak of karma they are referring to the hope that someone that wronged them gets what they deserve. Some people ascribe to karma as a type of moral code, hoping that if they live well they will get their reward in this life or the next.  As a Christian there is no room in my life to believe in such things as karma. I believe in the moral code passed down by God and praise God he doesn't ascribe to karma or we would all be doomed!  We do reap what we sow, we have the choice to spend our lives serving and honoring God, and there are rewards for that in this life and in heaven, or we can reject God and spend eternity separated from him.  Our salvation has nothing to do with our works.  No matter how good we think we are we will never be good enough to deserve eternity in heaven.

Romans 3:23

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord

Let all of that sink in for a moment.  When we play the karma card hoping that someone who hurt us will be punished, someone that did wrong we feel deserves to get what they have coming.  Then think that because we are "good" people that our karma is good we totally deceive ourselves.  Praise God he doesn't use karma against us, we would all have miserable lives!  The truth is that even on our best day we still all fall short, we are all sinners.  We cant measure up to the standard put forth by God.  I certainly don't want my past mistakes to determine the rest of my life.  I have wronged people that I love, I have wronged strangers, if I were to be a believer in karma I would curl up in a ball right now and give up because I have a lot of punishment coming my way!  I am so thankful that God knew we would fall short, that we would sin, that we would fail, and he responded with love by offering his Son to pay the price for our sin on the cross.  This, however,  does not excuse the believer to act how ever we please.

Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the LORD require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

We are to live according to the guidelines set forth in the Bible, to try our very best to stay on His right path.  We will fall from time to time, but the question is how we recover from the fall.  Do we get up, seek forgiveness and run back to God or do we let the failing pull us away.  Our lives should be lived trying each and every day to draw nearer to the Lord, to seek His will over our lives, to become the person we were meant to be as we strip away the flesh and put on the new man he has made us.  God is jealous for us and He is also patient because he loves us and doesn't want to lose a single one of us to eternity apart from him.  That is truly what hell is, is the absence of God, it is the absence of love, it is the absence of good.  In hell the lost will know that God exists, if they questioned that in this life, and they will know that he is all they ever wanted but they will spend eternity apart from him.  There are no words to describe what that will be like, but in God giving us free will to decide if we choose Him or not he will honor that even to the grave.  He will never force us to be near to him if we choose not to be.  Hell is a personal choice, you either want fellowship with God for eternity or you don't.  God wants every single one of us to choose him.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

God loves us, even while we are sinners.  He wants us to return to him and so he sent his Son to die for each and every one of us.  Even those who reject him.  We must choose if we will accept the free gift of salvation.  Before I truly understood it all, I thought that salvation was simply saying a prayer asking the Lord into my heart and I was set for life.  Past, present, and future sins forgiven.  I then carried on in my own desires resting in this false understanding.  I love the way my pastor put it this Sunday, I will paraphrase. 

The debate is not "once saved always saved" vs "once saved salvation can be lost."  The answer is once TRULY saved always saved.

That is it right there.  The truth is that when you truly come to salvation, when you truly understand that giving your heart to Jesus means giving up your life.  It means a total surrender to his will.  It means freedom from sin, not freedom to sin.  It means that you let the Holy Spirit guide you and change you.  It means that when you feel conviction you need to seek repentance and make the changes necessary to remove more and more of your "flesh" so that you can become the person God meant for you to be.  When you truly come to salvation it becomes impossible to stay in your sin.  The truth is revealed to you and you have to choose to either reject the sinful desires or reject God.  If you are truly saved the idea of rejecting God becomes unthinkable and leaves you only the option to reject sin.  When God got a hold of me, when he really opened my eyes to the salvation he was offering there was simply no way I could do anything but run to him.  I had to change everything about my life, I had to turn my back on all of my sin.  I had to choose Gods will over my life and I had to trust him to make beauty out of the ashes I had left behind.  It wasn't easy, it still isn't easy, but I can tell you that I am never going to go back to the person I once was.  God didn't leave me on the path of destruction, he chased me, tackled me, pinned me down until I repented, and then he carried me.  He still carries me when I struggle, he still walks with me when the trials hit, he is never far from me.

Ephesians 2:8

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast.

Praise God, karma is not a real principal on which we are judged.  Praise God, nothing we can do in this life can separate us from his love. Praise God, he loves us enough to wait for us and he offers us forgiveness we don't deserve if only we will repent.

Romans 8:38

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Forget karma, find forgiveness.  Offer forgiveness.  When you hold onto hurt that another has caused you, when you refuse to forgive you only hurt yourself.  Forgiveness if your way of saying that wrong done to you will not have any power over you.  We need to be quick to forgive if we also want to be forgiven.  Forgiveness does not excuse the actions of other, but it does set you free from the bondage unforgiveness can cause in your own life. I have an easy time forgiving others because I understand that we are all human and make mistakes.  This is easy for me mostly because I've made a lot of mistakes and needed a lot of forgiveness.  I do, however, have a hard time forgiving myself, and that is an area of forgiveness that God is teaching me about.  It is equally important to forgive yourself when you mess up because that is the only way to move forward.

Matthew 6:14-15

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Psalms 103:12

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Daniel 9:9

The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. "

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!