Friday, November 21, 2014

God Speaks

I was planning on going back to the US the first week in December.  I was planning to spend some time with my sister and let my kiddo have some much needed cousin time.  I was trying to restock the things that we can't find here, most importantly my hormone therapy.  I was trying to not be here in Fiji while Ryan was gone to the SIM in Singapore.  All of this seemed like a good plan, and then.....

Ryan and I were watching a movie the night before I was going to buy tickets and the thought came from out of nowhere, well nowhere is not accurate, the thought came directly from God.  "I wonder if Ella Mae can travel on less than 6 months validity on her passport?"  I tend to have issues with worry, but am learning to pass those fears on to God when I can't do anything about them.  I started to investigate and found that Fiji required 6 months validity upon reentry and I did the math in my head, nope that was only 5 months.  I mentioned it to Ryan and we discussed if the special immigration letter I would be traveling with would supersede this rule.  We decided Ryan would go to immigration the next day before he bought the tickets.  That was it, we would see what happened, no biggie if I had to wait until we renewed her passport, I could get that done in December and go in January.  Inconvenient, yes, a big deal, no.

Then the phone call came.  The details are not worth stating but as the words came out of my very upset husbands mouth over the phone my initial reaction was not panic or outrage, my initial thought was "wow God, if you hadn't put the first thought into my head this could have ended up being a disaster."  Of course my calm demeanor did not last as the stress of the situation piled on, but in the end I was able to give it all up to God and put my trust in him.

Long story short, due to some confusion over a visa application, if Ella Mae and I had left the Country next week when we tried to return we would have not been admitted back into Fiji for a whole year!  I don't even want to think about how upsetting that would have been for my family! A year apart, away from Ryan, our home, her things, her school, our friends......

God speaks to us, he really does.  He doesn't just speak to us about things you would expect.  Never even for a minute did I have any reason to wonder about Ella Mae being able to travel on less than 6 months of a passport.  I don't even know why I would think of something like that except for God.  I had no reason to have that thought and because of me listening to that one thought we were able to find out a problem that we didn't even know existed.

Now I won't say that I didn't become discouraged by it all.  It means I cannot leave the country until it is sorted, which is being worked on but may take some time.  I did get upset, I did break down, but the more upset I got the more God reminded me that He was taking care of this.  He had pointed it out in the first place.  I finally went for a run and spent my time thanking God and giving the details to Him and now I have peace.  Thats crazy for me, God has changed me so much.  I used to live my life one crisis to the next in a constant state of panic and fear.  Then I truly met God, embraced His peace and my life was forever changed.  See, being a Christian doesn't mean that I don't have trials, actually I probably have more as I am tested and refined.  My relationship with Christ does not keep me from struggle, it just means that I never have to face a struggle alone.

I expect that there will be days that I want to pull my hair out concerning the visa issue.  I expect it may take months for us to finally get our health insurance.  I expect that I may never be able to get my medication here and may have to face menopause at 36.  I know there are more trials headed my way than I can even imagine, but I also know that each trial is an opportunity for me to grow in faith and for God to show me how he can make miracles out of the impossible.

Psalms 3:3
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.

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